


running with the devil

by cupcakekillian



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: barry has no chill, i love iris west, villian au, westallen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-17 03:50:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13650825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupcakekillian/pseuds/cupcakekillian
Summary: Iris West didn't like to think she was a stupid girl. She had her moments, especially when alcohol was involved, but stupidity was not something she thought she possessed.Agreeing to go undercover to bring down Central City's most notorious super-villain, The Flash? Stupid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So for the purposes of this story, Joe West did not raise Barry following Nora's murder. Barry is also a villain. Fun! THIS HAS NOT BEEN BETA'D! So please go easy on me - I wanted to get it up :)

She isn’t sure why she volunteers. It’s literally one of the dumbest things she has ever done, second only to that time she jumped off a roof at a frat party and nearly paralyzed herself. She could at least blame alcohol that time. Right now, she’s stone cold sober and can only blame her lack of self-preservation and maybe that concussion she’d gotten from cheerleading. 

 

Her dad had been firmly against this, he hadn’t even let her become a cop in the first place. Eddie had too, although lately it felt like he was always against her. Or maybe she was always against him. That therapist she’d seen that one time had told her that she purposefully pushed people away before they could leave her. 

 

That therapist had been a fucking idiot and her dad and Eddie should know by now that she does what she wants. 

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Captain Singh asked.

 

Was she sure she wanted to do this?

 

“Yes,” she replied, sounding surer than she felt. 

 

It wasn’t like she didn’t think she could do this. She’d gone undercover before for her job as an investigative reporter at CCPN. That, however, usually consisted of flirting with a lifeguard to figure out if they’d used too much chlorine in the local pool, or pretending to be a professor at Central City University to unearth a wage discrepancy between black and white faculty. Those had all been small stints, just short-term assignments, and she hadn’t really had to sell herself all that much. It had been easy.

 

Infiltrating The Flash’s inner circle, that was going to be a touch more difficult. 

 

The Flash was one of Central City’s most notorious villains. He’d popped up a few years back after the particle accelerator explosion at STAR Labs along with a whole bunch of other metas. Metas he now appeared to be the leader of so she at least had to admire his ambition. 

 

The main problem was that very few had ever seen him.

 

He had super speed, or at least that’s what everyone assumed. Originally referred to as the Scarlet Streak, he often only left a trail of yellow lightning as a sign he’d been there. He liked to frequent all the big banks in the city, decimating the accounts of the wealthiest. Jewelry stores were also high on his list. Anywhere he could collect large amounts of money or valuables, he was sure to hit. Sometimes he even broke into people’s houses, but, once again, he only hit up the homes of Central City’s richest. 

 

She had no idea how she was going to get to him.

 

Captain Singh didn’t need to know that.

 

Apparently someone had hacked into their computer systems and stolen the identities of everyone working as an undercover agent. The hack also happened to have occurred at the exact time that they were working to build a case against The Flash, and maybe find out his identity. Which was quite a coincidence. It was hard to get close to The Flash when he could see you coming. 

 

That the argument she walked in on when she’d gone to visit her dad for lunch. He and Captain Singh were trying to figure out what to do, both of them coming up short. It had been that Iris nonchalantly suggested that she could go undercover.

 

“Absolutely not,” her dad had protested. 

 

Iris huffed. “I’m an investigative reporter, I’m good at pretending to be someone I’m not. I can do it.” 

 

Joe quirked an eyebrow. “Oh I have no doubt that you can do it, you just aren’t going to. It’s too dangerous.” 

 

“You were just about to send one of your own men in,” Iris scoffed.I can handle myself, Dad, you taught me how to. There’s no record of me on any of the CCPD computers, I’m not a cop, and you don’t even need to create a fake identity for me, I can just use my own. He’ll never have a reason to suspect me.”

 

Her dad placed his hands on his hips, which told her she was going to get shot down. “No, Iris. End of discussion.”

 

She almost let it drop to, except then she looked at Singh’s face and he was considering it. “Captain Singh?”

 

The Captain looked past her and right at Joe. “It’s not a bad idea.” 

 

“No!” 

 

Iris cut in then, voice rising an octave. “I’m an adult, Dad. I can make this choice with or without your approval.” Knowing she’d catch more flies with honey then with vinegar, she changed her tone to a softer one. “But I want you in on this. Please.”

 

Joe looked back and forth between the two of them, clearly sensing he was fighting a losing battle. “Fine,” he barked and Iris threw her arms around him. “But things start to go south and we’re pulling you out.”

 

Iris smiled. “I’ll be fine, Daddy. What could go wrong?”

 

**OOO**

 

The answer to that question was many things.

 

Many things could go wrong.

 

Admittedly, her plan was not the best. It was, in fact, maybe one of the worst plans she could’ve come up with. Not only was it entirely contingent on whether or not he showed up, but he could also just kill her.

 

That would really suck. 

 

She definitely owed Linda a drink for letting her use her parent’s apartment to set a Flash trap. Well, truthfully she owed Mr. and Mrs. Park a drink and, depending on how this went, a new apartment. 

 

The Park’s were old money, Linda’s great-great grandfather having owned like every newspaper in the city at one point. Or something. Iris wasn’t really sure because Linda didn’t really like to talk about it. The only reason she’d found out at all was because Linda had been the one who had posted bail when she’d been arrested in college for streaking across the quad. 

 

Focus, West. 

 

So that was how she found herself sitting on the Park’s couch absentmindedly flipping through a magazine. It was a bit past midnight and at this point she wasn’t even sure The Flash would show at all. 

 

That kind of pissed her off, considering how much work she’d put into the article she’d written to lure him or her here. She’d included lots of details about how Mr. Park had just acquired a new, big, fat emerald. It was one of the largest single payments for a gemstone that had ever occurred. She also mentioned that he was currently keeping it stored in his home until other arrangements could be made. She made sure to include any detail that she thought would draw The Flash in. 

 

It was all fake of course, but that was beside the point. 

 

She was just debating on taking a little nap when a gust of air passed through the room. That in and of itself probably wouldn’t have been odd, she was pretty sure she left a window open, but the yellow lightning moving around the room alerted her that she was no longer alone. 

 

It took her a second to register that The Flash was moving from room to room, and then another second to realize why. “Looking for something,” she yelled out and the volume of her voice made her feel stupid, but she wanted to be heard. 

 

The lightning stopped for a moment and everything was quiet. Iris briefly wondered if The Flash had left, and that would really suck because how was she going to find them now. 

 

In a split second and another gust of wind that sent her hair flying around her face The Flash was in front of her staring down at her with angry eyes.

 

He, and it was definitely a he, she knew that at least, was significantly taller than her. He wore a red leather suit that covered him from head to toe. The only parts of him that were visible were his mouth and his nose and the aforementioned eyes, which were a pretty dark green. His frame was lean, but she could tell he was muscular. Her eyes drifted down to his chest, where a white circular emblem sat with a lightning bolt in the center. Cute. 

 

“Where’s the emerald?” He growled and his voice was coming out distorted, that much was obvious. 

 

She probably should be scared because he was very obviously pissed off, but she’s kind of just giddy because he’s here. He’s here and he’s The Flash and she has so many questions. So she decides to have a little fun. “The emerald?” 

 

His tone lets her know he is not messing around. “The Park’s emerald! Where is it?” 

 

She smiles, and his agitation seems to grow. “The emerald? I’m sure it’s here somewhere. You’re welcome to keep looking.” With that she sits back down on the couch and starts flipping through her magazine.

 

It’s clearly not what he was expecting and he just stands there confused for a moment. Then suddenly the magazine is out of her hands and her back is pressed up against the wall and he’s all up in her space.

 

“Do you know who I am?” He breathes and his voice just holds a hint of malice. 

 

For the first time, Iris is scared. She’s scared but she’s also intrigued and maybe it’s the reporter in her, but her curiosity always gets the best of her.“You’re The Flash. You’re one of the most well-known and feared villains in Central City.” 

 

He falters then, maybe expecting her to not know who he is because if she did then shouldn’t she be afraid? His surprised expression is quickly replaced with a careful mask of neutrality. “Then I suggest you tell me where the emerald is, before I remind you of why I’m one of the most well-known and feared villains in Central City.”

 

“It’s not here.” 

 

“What?” It’s clear that’s the last thing he was expecting to hear.

 

They were so close she could see tiny specks of gold in his eyes. “Yeah. The girl who wrote the article on the emerald suggested that maybe they shouldn’t keep it in their home.” She smirked. “You know, just in case someone wanted to steal it or something.”

 

“Do you know where I can find this girl? I’d like to have a word with her.” 

 

Iris raised an eyebrow in challenge. “You’re looking at her.”

 

“You’re a reporter?” Flash asked as his jaw flexed. 

 

She stuck out her hand. “Iris West. You are?”

 

She realized belatedly that she was flirting with him. She was flirting with The Flash. She was flirting with The Flash when she was happily dating Eddie Thawne. She was flirting with The Flash when she was happily dating Eddie Thawne and a part of her kind of liked it. 

 

It wasn’t her original plan, but she figured she’d just go with whatever worked. 

 

To her surprise, he huffed a laugh. “You’re a funny girl, Iris West. A little bit stupid, but funny.” 

 

Iris stuck her chin out in defiance, not appreciating the dig. “Some people might say I’m brave.”

 

He leaned in then, close enough that Iris can feel his hot breath fanning over her face. “Those people would be stupid too then.” 

 

He’s gone before she can even blink, disappearing in a, well, flash. She’s left there trying to process what the hell just happened, or even if any of that had happened. 

 

Reflexively she flexes her fingers and is surprised to feel something in her right hand. Looking down she realizes that she’s holding a crumpled piece of paper. She quickly unfolds it and realizes that it’s the cover of the magazine she’d been reading. 

 

There on Jennifer Lawrence’s face in messy, hurried scrawl are the words: 

 

You’re brave and I’m stupid.

 

Definitely happened. 

 

**OOO**

 

Let it be known that Iris West does not do well on little sleep.

 

She had a sporadic sleep schedule, she’d be the first to admit that, but she always got her eight hours. Even if that meant taking a seven and a half hour nap in the middle of the day. 

 

So the day after her Flash encounter she was just a tad irritable. 

 

By tad irritable she means that if someone so much as breathed in her direction she would basically take their head off. 

 

The last thing she wanted to do was go to the gym. She’d never been one of those people who got a rush from exercise. The notorious “runner’s high” always seemed to elude her and instead she just got cramps. Still, she found that if she didn’t force herself to go at least five times a week then she wouldn’t go at all and now was really not the time to let herself go. 

 

Not when she had the fastest man alive to keep up with. 

 

It was incredibly convenient that her apartment complex had a gym inside of it. She loved her apartment complex. Eddie kept trying to get her to move in with him, but she was just overly attached to her gym, and her doorman, and her little balcony where she kept all her dead plants. At least, that’s what she told him. She couldn’t seem to admit to him or herself that maybe she just wasn’t ready to move in. 

 

These were the kind of thoughts that plagued her whenever she hit the treadmill. The only way to make her stupid brain shut the hell up was to run so fast it felt as though one of her lungs was going to collapse. So that’s what she did.

 

She’d come to the gym a bit later than usual having gotten caught up at work. The place was empty when she’d arrived and she welcomed the solace. She decided to plug her phone in into the speaker that played throughout the room. Normally, she found it super obnoxious when people did that, but no one else was here so she didn’t see the harm. 

 

She had only gotten two songs in when someone else came into the gym. 

 

That someone else also happened to be a very attractive, tall brunette in his twenties. 

 

Of fucking course. 

 

He seemed surprised to see her there, sprinting on the treadmill like her life depended on it. She assumed that he just wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here this late. That made two of them.

 

“I can turn it off,” she yelled over the music as she pointed over to where her IPhone was laying. 

 

He was still staring at her and she was suddenly hyper aware of the fact that she was only wearing a sports bra and her boobs were bouncing all over the place, but he shook his head and seemed to come to. “No, uh, it’s fine. I like this song,” he replied. 

 

Iris gave him a little two-fingered salute and then went back into her own little world. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her gym buddy climb onto a treadmill two away from hers. He cranked up the speed and began to run, his pace matching her own. 

 

She normally liked to do about three miles before doing a quick ab circuit and a few squats. Then she typically went back to her apartment and ate a pint of Rocky Road. 

 

Three miles came and went. 

 

Eddie had once informed her that her competitive nature was very unattractive. He hadn’t meant it as an insult, but naturally that’s how Iris had taken it. After all, it wasn’t her fault he fucking sucked at Pictionary. 

 

Still, it was nothing short of miraculous that the guy hadn’t even broken a sweat given the pace he was going at and the length of time he’d been going for. She’d only gotten started about five minutes before he had and she was drenched in sweat in a way that probably wasn’t cute. When she hit the six mile mark, she nearly quit. Then she made the mistake of looking over at him.

 

It was almost instinctive and she instantly regretted it because there was a small challenge in his eyes. 

 

She wasn’t the only competitive one in the room. 

 

That settled it then. She would just die on this treadmill. There was no way she could outrun him, he wasn’t even breathing heavily, but she wasn’t about to quit and sacrifice her pride. So yeah, she’d just die on this treadmill. Reasonable.

 

They hit ten miles and her legs go numb.

 

Maybe this is the runner’s high. Maybe she’ll just eventually lose control of her limbs and go flying off. Maybe she’ll never be able to stop running. Maybe…

 

Then suddenly the treadmill two away from hers goes quiet and she looks over and he’s climbing off. His hands are held up in mock surrender. “I concede,” he said. 

 

“Thank god!” She yelled as she slammed down on the stop button. “I was starting to hallucinate.” 

 

He laughs. “I admire your commitment to athleticism.” 

 

Iris takes a long gulp of her water. “Not to be confused with my commitment to winning.” 

 

He gives her a knowing look. “Oh never.” 

 

She gives him a quick once-over and her initial assessment of “very attractive” still stands. He is tall, maybe a little over six feet, with tousled brown hair and high cheekbones that are covered in freckles. He’s got beautiful green eyes and suddenly he looks so familiar. “Have we met before?” 

 

He starts a little at that and scratches the back of his neck. “Kind of. You’re Iris West, right?” 

 

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Yes. How do you know my name?”

 

“We went to high school together. I’m Barry Allen.” 

 

He looks at her like he expects her not to know who he is, but of course she does. “Barry Allen from AP Chemistry?” 

 

Barry doesn’t even try and hide his surprise. “Yeah. You remember?”

 

She smiles and reaches out to give him a light shove. “Of course I remember! Your notes are the only reason I passed that final exam.”

 

He nods, laughing. “Yeah, yeah, that’s me. I’m impressed. That’s not what most people know me for.”

 

She knows exactly what he’s referring to, of course. Everyone who went to Central City High knew who Barry Allen was. When your father is convicted of murdering your mother and sent to prison for life, people tend to know who you are. 

 

She never really believed that anyway.

 

She shrugs, trying to play it off. “Yeah, well, I’m not most people.” 

 

She thinks she hears him mutter “You’re right about that,” but she doesn’t have time to ask him to repeat himself as he asks, “So what’re you doing now?” 

 

“I’m a reporter over at CCPN.” 

 

Barry gives her a genuinely excited grin. “Look at you! You were president of the school newspaper so I guess I should’ve known, huh?” 

 

She’s surprised he remembers that. “Well the stuff I write now is nowhere as near as interesting as the stuff I wrote back in high school.” Hopefully that would all change once she brought The Flash down. “What about you? Are you putting those AP Chemistry skills to use? You always had a knack for the science stuff.” 

 

“Yeah I am actually. I’m a forensic scientist over at CCPD.” He says it so nonchalantly it seems as though he’s trying to downplay it. 

 

Iris shoves him a second time. “Dude! That’s so cool! My dad is actually a cop over at CCPD.”

 

Barry expression changes suddenly and he seems more guarded. “Yeah I’ve bumped into him a few times.” 

 

She doesn’t know what causes the shift, but she figures it best to ignore it. It could have something to do with the fact that her dad had been friends with the Allens, but then again it could not. 

 

He looked good though, that much was certain. He’d filled out since high school, finally gaining the muscle needed to control those long limbs. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and sweatpants, and, yeah, he’s definitely been working out, and her eyes suddenly drift to his shoes.

 

“Are you wearing Converse?” It comes out a little more high-pitched and disbelieving then she intended, but seriously how had he run in those.

 

“What?” He looks down, confused. “Oh, yeah, I guess I am?”

 

“Those are so bad for your arches! You can’t run in those, Barry.” She has literally no idea where this outburst is coming from but she thinks maybe she’s a little pissed that he was running so effortlessly in Converse. 

 

Barry rolls his eyes. “It’s fine, Iris.” 

 

“No it’s not. I’m going to buy you new shoes and you can thank me twenty years from now when you aren’t flat-footed.”

 

He goes to protest but the sound of his phone ringing cuts him off. Barry looks at her, an apology on his expression, but she nods to tell him to take it. “Hello,” he says. “What? I thought that was handled. Seriously? No. Yes. No, no it’s fine I’ll come in now.” 

 

“Duty calls, huh?” 

 

Barry nods and he looks genuinely upset to ruin the moment. “Unfortunately nothing seems to get taken care of if I’m not around.” 

 

Iris sighs. “Ain’t that just the way life is?” She nods towards the door. “Go, go. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you.” 

 

He waits a moment before heeding her advice, giving her a small wave before he disappears from view. 

 

Barry Allen was a curveball she wasn’t prepared for.

 

She can’t say she’s mad. 

 

**OOO**

 

So the next time she runs into him is actually not planned. 

 

She was just going to deposit some cash at Central City Municipal Bank when suddenly there was a gust of air and the lone security guard was yelling at everyone to get on the ground. 

 

To the guard’s immense credit, he did actually attempt to stop The Flash. He shot feebly at the lightning moving across the room, but then his gun was out of his hands and rope was bounding his hands and feet. 

 

Then the damnedest thing happened. Leonard Snart walked in through the doors. 

 

Leonard Snart was one of the best thieves in all of Central City. He would probably argue that he was the best thief in the city, and if his father wasn’t still alive he’d probably be right. Snart could get past any kind of security system in seconds. He also had a weapon that was often referred to as a “Cold Gun” because it could shoot concentrated bursts of negative temperature particles. It could literally freeze people alive. Leonard Snart had been untouchable by any and all law enforcement. 

 

She was going to bring down Leonard Snart. 

 

When she very subtly reached into her pocket to get her phone so she could take a picture, she probably should’ve known that it wasn’t subtle at all. She probably should’ve known that Snart would see her. She probably should’ve known that her actions would probably get her killed. 

 

Except she didn’t know all of that and so that was how she ended up with the Cold Gun pointed at her. 

 

“Say cheese,” Snart said in a voice that’s so theatrical she would’ve laughed had circumstances been different. 

 

Iris closed her eyes right before he pulled the trigger and then suddenly she could hear birds chirping and she thought maybe she was in heaven but when she opened her eyes she was standing on top of a building. She could see the bank a little ways in the distance and how the hell did she get up here? 

 

A lone voice answered that question for her. 

 

“What the hell were you thinking?” His tone, distorted as it was, suggested he wasn’t angry or overtly concerned for her safety in any way. He was talking to her like she was an idiot.

 

Which Iris, and she suspected any sane person, hated. So her own voice came out just a little bit heated as she yelled, “Two guys were robbing a bank! I was trying to call the police.”

 

He settled his hand on his hip. “You had your camera open.” He sounded slightly smug, as though he was happy he caught her in a lie. 

 

Iris paused then, deflating slightly. “Okay, well maybe I was going to take a picture, but then I was definitely going to call the police.” When he let out an annoyed huff she shrugged. “Investigative reporter, what are you going to do?” 

 

He smiled and for the first time Iris noticed that his face was vibrating ever so slightly, blurring his features. He definitely wasn’t doing that the first time they met. “As an investigative reporter I would think you’d know that by the time the police reach any of my crime scenes, I’m long gone.” 

 

“Cocky, aren’t we?”

 

“Confident.” He replied and yeah she had to give him that one.

 

She stepped closer and he mirrored her actions, stepping back. “Yeah, well, you never know. Maybe they’ll catch you one day.” 

 

He said his next words so quietly she thought maybe she wasn’t supposed to hear. “Figures a cop’s daughter would have unfounded faith in the police department.” 

 

That surprised her. “How do you know that?”

 

Any trace of anger or judgement he’d held at the beginning of the conversation was gone now and he was teasing her. “You’re not the only one who knows how to do some digging, Iris West. I quite liked your article on the Flower Festival.”

 

That was not a proud moment for her. Something about a girl named after a flower writing a story about flowers made her have to suppress her gag reflex. The article was about as puff piece as you could possibly get, no matter how hard she tried to make petunias sound badass.

 

Desperate to prove herself, which she constantly seemed to be, she asked, “Did you also read my article about corrupt beat cops at CCPD?”

 

He clearly wasn’t expecting that, and she knew his answer before he said, “Must’ve missed that one.”

 

Iris took another hesitant step forward, and this time he didn’t step away. “Maybe you should read it. Police are not infallible, I would never be naive enough to believe that. They make mistakes, even my dad would admit that. He always taught me to question everything around me.” 

 

The Flash seemed positively taken aback, and she felt slight satisfaction at that. Any time she could defy expectations, she took the opportunity to do so. Besides, it was probably smart to convince him that she wasn’t some police groupie. At least if she wanted him to let her take a peek inside his operation. 

 

Shaking his head he seemed to recover quickly. “He may have done too good a job.” 

 

Iris smirked. “You two may be in agreement on that one” 

 

He gave her a weird look then, as though that was an odd statement for her to make. Funnily enough, she imagined that her dad would have a similar reaction at the implication that he and The Flash could see eye to eye on anything. 

 

“I should probably go,” he breathed.

 

Iris must have been making up the reluctance she heard in his voice. Then again, he didn’t need to tell her he was leaving, he could’ve just sped off. 

 

She nodded. “Well, thank you for not letting Leonard Snart freeze my face off.” 

 

He laughed. “Iris,” he purred and she liked the way he said her name. “You are much too interesting to have your face frozen off.” 

 

Then just like that she was on the street and he was gone and she was left to wonder whether or not that had happened.

 

And if she noticed that over the course of the next few weeks Central City Municipal Bank was not robbed once, she never said anything. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! Eddie and Iris kind have an OC relationship, but it was kind of necessary for how things shake out. Hope you like! Your comments and encouragement are always appreciated - they kept me writing :)

“So Leonard Snart is working with The Flash now?” Captain Singh asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

  


She’d come in for their weekly run down session and she could tell he'd been hoping for better news. 

 

“On the bright side at least now we can kill two birds with one stone,” Iris replied in the most cheerful voice she could manage.

  


Her dad shot her a withering look from across the table. “This is getting more and more dangerous everyday. It’s time to pull her out.”

  


“No!” Iris shouted, perhaps a bit too emphatically judging by the look Eddie was giving her. “I mean, he knows who I am. There’s no point in stopping now that I’ve finally set up a repertoire.” 

  


Her boyfriend scoffs. “You’ve had two confrontations with him I’d hardly call that a repertoire.” 

  


She couldn’t help the edge to her voice as she shot back “And in those two confrontations I learned more about him then we’ve been able to figure out for the past few years. Listen to me, I know what I’m doing. I’ll figure out his weaknesses and we’ll be able to get him.” 

  


Captain Singh nodded, which effectively ended whatever argument was going on. “You’re doing great, West. Just keep at it and stay safe. I’ll see you all here next week.” 

  


Iris nodded and practically sprinted out of the room before anyone could say anything to her. She vaguely registered Eddie calling her name, but she ignored him. Unfortunately, she was wearing heels which meant it was all too easy for him to catch up to her and grab her arm, spinning her around. 

 

“Can we at least talk about this?” 

  


Iris let out a very unladylike snort. “There’s nothing to talk about. You don’t want me doing this, and guess what? I’m gonna do it anyway.” She turned to walk away again, but his grip on her arm held fast. 

  


“Keep your voice down,” he chastised lightly. “I just don’t want you getting hurt.” 

  


Maybe it was the “keep your voice down” comment, but she felt her irritation grow instead of wane. “I’m know what I’m doing! I’m not going to get-”

  


Iris was interrupted by sound of a vaguely familiar voice calling her name. She turned her head to see Barry Allen waving at her as he made his way over. 

  


“Do you need something, CSI Allen?” Eddie asked in an incredibly rude tone and she hoped he didn’t always speak to Barry like that. 

  


“I’m pretty sure Barry said _my_ name,” she growled and she used the opportunity to wrench her arm free.

  


Eddie looked back and forth between the two of them, and Barry looked like he regretted coming over. “You two know each other?”

  


Iris paused, deciding how best to describe their relationship. She settled on “We’re old friends.”

  


The smile on Barry’s face at her words almost brought her out of her misery. 

  


“I’ve never heard you mention him,” Eddie replied and it was like he wanted to be smacked.

  


Maybe sensing that she was going to say something she regretted, Barry cut in. “Iris and I went to high school together. We hadn’t seen each other in a few years, but it turns out we live in the same apartment complex.”

  


Iris sensed an out from this god forsaken building and she decided to take it. “Yes and we actually agreed to get lunch and I wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.” She turned to face Barry head on and offered her arm. “Shall we?” 

  


Barry, bless his sweet soul, looked incredibly confused but he didn’t dare argue with her. “Right, um, right,” he stuttered as he looped his arm through hers. 

  


Iris didn’t even give her boyfriend a moment to protest as she waved him a quick goodbye and practically dragged Barry toward the elevators. She waited until they were inside and the doors had shut before she spoke again. “I am so sorry, thank you for being so cool about that.I just couldn’t deal with him right now.” Iris moved so that her hand was now loosely holding onto his bicep, his arm still cocked at an angle.

  


Barry nodded. “Yeah, no, of course, whatever you need. Is everything okay?” 

  


Iris sighed and shrugged one shoulder. “It’s fine he’s just worried about me.” Seeing the question on Barry’s face, she elaborated. “I’ve had a couple run ins with The Flash.” 

  


The elevator doors opened as they reached the bottom floor and while they both exited, neither made a move to separate. 

  


“The Flash?” Barry asked and Iris was surprised to find that his voice didn’t twist with the usual disdain everyone else’s did when they talked about the meta. “Makes sense why he’d be worried. You were lucky to get out of those encounters alive.”

  


Iris smiled as she remembered said encounters. “Can I let you in on a little secret?”

  


“Sure.”

  


Iris knew she probably shouldn’t talk about him since she was technically involved in an investigation, but she figured she could share a few details with Barry. After all, he did work for the police. “I don’t really think he’s the monster everyone makes him out to be.” 

  


Barry’s arm twitched under her fingers. “And what makes you say that?” 

  


Iris bit her lip. They were almost at the main door. “I don’t know. Just a vibe I guess. My intuition is usually right on this kind of stuff, but then again he could kill me the next time I see him.”

  


He didn’t look at her as he asked. “So you want to see him again?”

  


“I don’t know. Yes, I guess I do.” She felt her stomach turn to lead as soon as she realized how true the words were, so she changed the subject. “Anyway I should probably go.”

  


She went to move away from Barry, but he quickly took hold of her hand. “No, no, no you told your boyfriend we were getting lunch and we’re getting lunch.”

  


Iris laughed, something she seemed to do frequently when he was around. “Alright, Allen. Lead the way.” 

  


**OOO**

****  


_Iris: do you like spicy food?_

  


_Barry: I think the more appropriate question would be does spicy food like me? The answer is no._

  


_Iris: there’s a new Indian restaurant opening on my block that i want to try_

  


_Iris: Eddie won’t go with me…_

  


_Iris: so…_

  


_Barry: Pick a day and if I cry you don’t get to say anything…_

  


_Iris: you’re the best Barry Allen!_

  


**OOO**

 

Her third run in with The Flash was not her fault at all.

  


In fact, it was totally, one hundred percent his fault because she was just minding her business at Jitters and then suddenly she was on the roof. 

  


“You just had to write an article about the bank robbery, didn’t you?” He called from behind her.

  


Iris smiled and turned to find him leaning against a smokestack. “I am a reporter after all.” 

  


The Flash laughed and folded his arms across his chest. “That’s so weird, I thought your job was to make my life a living hell.” 

  


She’d like to pretend she wasn’t flirting with him, but she’d also failed that one acting class she’d taken in college. “That’s more of a hobby.” 

  


He laughed again. “Snart’s pissed. He claims you portrayed him all wrong.” 

  


Iris shrugged. “Next time I’ll make sure I don’t portray the homicidal maniac incorrectly. You tell him if he ever wants to interviewed I’d be happy to do that.”

  


“He would love that. I, on the other hand, would not.” 

  


Iris bit her lip. “I didn’t know you cared.” 

  


“I don’t,” he replied much too quickly. 

  


“Mhm. Just admit you have a soft spot for me.” 

  


He huffed. “I do not,” Flash shot back, sounding like a petulant schoolboy. 

  


Iris smirked because for a super-villain he was an awful liar. “Sure, that’s why you’re always saving me. You better be careful or people will think you’re coming over to the good side.” 

  


“God forbid that happen. My reputation would be ruined,” The Flash replied with an eye roll. 

  


Iris stepped forward and he stepped back. “I won’t tell. I can keep a secret.” 

  


He paused for a second and seemed to contemplate something. “I bet you can, Iris West,” he said, his voice softer. 

  


Iris decided now was her opportunity to push her luck. “You know if there were any other secrets you wanted to let me in on…”

  


He looked at her like she was a lunatic, but she thought maybe she saw a hint of a smile on his blurred face. “Really?”

  


Iris shrugged. “I’m just saying that I’m very trustworthy. Plus it might be nice to be able to call you by your real name.”

  


“What like… Ralph?”

  


That tripped her up. “Is your name Ralph?” 

  


“What if it was?” His voice came out with calculated nonchalance, which led her to believe he was lying. 

  


“My hero, Ralph. Kind of has a weird ring to it.” 

  


She had meant it to be teasing, but his stance suddenly became rigid. The reason for the change became clear when he said, “I’m no one’s hero, Iris.”

  


“You saved my life the other day. That makes you a hero, Buddy.” Iris tried to keep her tone light while also conveying her gratitude. 

  


He snorted in a decidedly inelegant way. “I doubt the people of Central City and its police force would agree.”

  


On that point she had to concede, but she was stubborn all the same. “Okay so maybe your image needs some cleaning up, but I could help you. I could write an article or something. I could-“

  


“I don’t need you meddling in my business, alright?” He was growing agitated and his tone made it very clear that he did not want to have that conversation. 

  


She, however, did want to have this conversation and that meant that they were going to have it. “Does the idea of being a good guy really bother you that much?”

  


“No, I just don’t think people should sell themselves as something they’re not.” His answer was loaded, and she sensed there was more to it, that maybe he wasn’t just referring to himself. 

  


She felt like he wasn’t giving himself enough credit, so she asked, “But what if you are?”

  


“I’m not.” There was a finality to his tone that suggested she wasn’t going to change his mind.

  


She briefly thought of continuing the argument, but she figured it could happen another day. Iris was enjoying her time with the puzzle who refused to be solved and she didn’t want her curiosity to end up cutting their time short. Not to mention the fact that she was part of a police investigation and she was supposed to be gathering evidence that could lead to his incarceration. 

 

“So what’s with the lightning bolt?” 

  


The question clearly caught him off guard because he looked at her like she’d totally lost her mind. When she pointed to the emblem on his chest in explanation, he appeared relieved she’d dropped her other line of questioning. 

  


“I was struck by lightning and that’s how I got my powers.” He answered before he seemed to consider whether or not telling her that was a bad idea. 

  


“You mean you haven’t always been like,” Iris gestured vaguely at his form, “this?” 

  


He laughed. “No, I haven’t.” The Flash cocked his head and looked her up and down. “Does that surprise you?” 

  


The answer to that question was slightly more complicated than yes or no. “I guess I just forget that you’re a regular guy. It’s kind of hard to imagine you buying groceries, or walking your dog, or going to the dentist, or hanging out with your girlfriend.” Her voice twisted around the last word and she didn’t know why.

  


Okay maybe she did know why.

  


But of all the things he could’ve said back, “I don’t have a dog or a girlfriend” was not what she’d been anticipating.

  


The swoop in her stomach wasn’t what she’d been anticipating either.

  


“Good to know,” she whispered back, so lowly she was worried he wouldn’t hear.

  


He did. 

  


The next morning a steaming hot coffee sat on her desk with a note that read “Figured I owed you one after I interrupted you yesterday. You should really make some new friends.” He’d also drawn a little lightning bolt at the bottom like the dork that he was. 

  


He thought they were friends. 

  


In the back of her head, some small voice reminded Iris that friends don’t send friends to jail.

** OOO  
**

  


Lunch with Barry Allen had become a weekly occurrence. 

  


It hadn’t been her original plan, but then weirdly enough she found that she actually liked his company. He was a huge nerd and they had nothing in common except for their address, but there was something about him that put her at ease. He was funny without being mean. He treated her like she was a capable adult. He clearly valued her opinion, even when it came to something as silly as outfit choices. 

  


She felt like she could be herself around him. 

  


Weirdly enough, the one thing they never talked about was their childhood.

  


Initially she had just suspected it was because of the situation with his parents. It was easy enough to imagine why that particular subject was a painful one for him. She didn’t realize there was more to it until a few months into their friendship.

  


They were at his place late one night when Iris had come over because her fridge was empty. She had only been in his home a handful of times, not wanting to overstep her boundaries. He had excellent taste, expensive taste, and she hadn’t assumed that forensic scientists made enough to afford such comfortable couches. She did notice, however, that his apartment lacked those personal touches that most others possessed. 

  


The only thing she could find that alluded to him being a real person was a framed photo of his mom. Almost without her brain’s permission her hand was picking it up and she was saying “She’s beautiful.” 

  


“She _was_ beautiful,” came Barry’s strained reply. 

  


Iris turned and looked at him in horror. How could she be such an idiot? She was prepared to see anger, or maybe devastation, but his expression only seemed pensive as he watched her. 

  


Iris put the picture down. “Barry I’m so sorry I wasn’t thinking.” 

  


He held up a hand to stop her. “It’s fine, Iris.” Barry looked her up and down. “I keep forgetting that you knew her. Knew them.” 

  


She knew that she should probably just nod and change the subject, but she couldn’t. She wanted to share in this moment with him. She wanted him to feel like he could be open with her. 

  


“One time I wandered out of my house late at night, I think I was sleepwalking, I tend to do that sometimes. I must’ve been eight or nine. I got locked out and no matter how much I screamed and banged on the door my dad was not waking up. That man sleeps like the dead. I didn’t know what to do, but I could see that your kitchen light was on across the street. I went over and knocked on the door and your mom answered in her pajamas with her hair all a mess.” 

  


Iris laughed as she remembered Nora Allen’s shock when she’d turned up at her doorstep at four in the morning.

  


“I told her what happened and then she hugged me and told me it was going to be fine. She and I sat on your front porch and ate Oreo cookies while we watched the sun come up. Then at about six she walked me back across the street and gave me back to my dad and he told her that he owed her one and she said no he didn’t because it was always nice to spend time with me.”

  


She looked up at Barry, who was watching her with rapt attention and a glistening eye. “And in that moment I remember thinking that if my mom had stayed I would’ve liked her to be just like yours. I still think of her every time I eat a damn Oreo, which, admittedly, is a lot.”

  


Barry grew exceptionally quiet and she was suddenly worried that she had somehow made the situation worse. Then he said, “Thank you for that. I think everyone is scared to mention them around me, and I definitely don’t talk about her enough. At first it was just too hard and then, I don’t know I think I just lost touch with that part of my life.” 

  


Iris thought maybe she saw a tear glistening on his cheek but it was gone before she could get a good look. “She’d be proud of you, Barry. They both would.” 

  


Barry shook his head. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” 

  


Iris stepped towards him and he stepped back. “I’m sure.” 

  


He was growing agitated, but she didn’t back down. “You don’t even know me, Iris.” 

  


That kind of pissed her off because yeah they’d only been hanging out for a little while but that was bullshit and he knew it. “I know you and you know me, let’s not lie to one another, okay?” 

  


Something she said managed to caused him to snap out of his anger and move back to sadness. “Okay.” 

  


It made sense to her then why they never talked about the days when they were younger. It wasn’t because the memory of his parents brought him sadness, it was because what he’d done in the aftermath did. 

  


They never talked about their past because Barry was ashamed of his present. 

  


“You have been a really good friend to me these past few months, Barry. You’re kind, and generous, and funny, and you bring me Chinese food at two in the morning when I’m trying to meet a deadline. You’re one of the best people I know, and I haven’t even known you all that long. I mean you’re working as a CSI for the police department trying to help other people!” She was getting a little worked up, but she wanted to get it through his thick skull. 

  


Barry bit his lip and smiled ever so slightly. “I have a confession to make.” 

  


Iris cocked an eyebrow at the shift in demeanor. “What?” 

  


“My motives for working at CCPD aren’t exactly pure, at least they weren’t at first.” 

  


Of all the things he could of said, of all the things he could’ve picked up on during her little rant, he chose that. “What does that mean?” 

  


“I started working there hoping that I could get some information on my mom’s murder, and maybe find something to clear my dad’s name. Turns out there are no files. There’s absolutely nothing in the CCPD database about the case. I even checked the freaking paper files,” he replied. 

  


Iris figured she was meant to be confused, but she knew exactly what he was talking about. “I may actually know something about that,” she told him sheepishly. 

  


Barry visibly started and it was his turn to ask questions. “What?” 

  


Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear she said, “My dad has them. A little while after your dad’s trial, he took all the files. He thought that there was something shady about the whole situation and he didn’t want anyone tampering with them. He goes over them pretty regularly. I don’t think it ever occurred to him that you’d want to look at them, but I’m sure he’d be happy to share them with you.” 

  


She knew he would. When he’d discovered that she and Barry had become friends, he’d eagerly asked about him. Apparently the two never worked together at CCPD, and she knew he still felt guilty that he hadn’t intervened after the murder. Come to think of it she was pretty sure Barry had stayed with them for a few weeks, but then a relative came out of the woodwork to claim him. She was pretty sure that was the last time her dad had seen Barry. 

  


Joe West still had a soft spot for the kid.

  


Barry moved towards the couch and for half a second Iris was nervous he was going to fall over. His shin did briefly come into contact with the coffee table, but he seemed unfazed as he flopped down. Hesitantly she made her way over and join them, their knees touching. “You good?”

  


“Your dad has the files?” His voice broke ever so slightly in disbelief.

  


Iris nodded and took his hands. “My dad has the files.” 

  


Barry swallowed audibly and Iris wondered if maybe she should get him some water, but she was also worried he might pass out. “All this time I thought that someone in the police department was trying to cover something up. I mean, your dad was lead detective on the case, I thought maybe he…” Barry looked at Iris as he trailed off, and she could guess the end of the sentence.

  


It made sense then why he always got so cagey when she brought up her dad. He had assumed that Joe had been involved somehow. The thought made Iris sick to her stomach, and she could only imagine what her dad would think. 

  


“He loved your parents,” she said, because it was the only thing she could think of. “He was devastated by what happened. I’m not saying that there isn’t something going on within CCPD, but he would never hurt Nora or Henry. I’m sure he’d like to talk to you about all of this.” 

  


Barry had a look in his eyes, something she couldn’t quite name. It was like his whole world had shifted on its axis, and maybe it had. “Okay,” he replied.

  


“Okay.” 

  


**OOO**

****  


_Barry: The Star Wars prequels should never have been made! They detract from the original three_

  


_Iris: they do not! they provide critical backstory for Anakin and better emphasize the importance of Luke’s struggle with the dark side._

  


_Iris: as a writer i am all about the story._

  


_Barry: You’re just all about Hayden Christensen_

  


Iris quickly texted him the middle finger emoji as she turned off her desk lamp. She hadn’t realized how late it had gotten, too busy working on her Flash story to notice time ticking away.

  


Exiting the office, she pulled her coat a little tighter around her body. It was beginning to get a little chillier out as summer shifted into fall. She’d always loved this time of year, particularly because she loved to sleep under a pile of blankets. She couldn’t wait to go home and get into her pajamas, maybe see what was on Netflix. Like clockwork, Barry texted her asking if she wanted him to pick up Big Belly Burger or pizza. 

  


She was just typing out her response as she turned the corner and was confronted by a building on fire. 

  


It must’ve been going for a long time because the flames had already engulfed most of the building, and she was grateful it wasn’t attached to anything. That gratefulness turned to horror as she managed to make out the sign above the door reading “Lakeside Condominiums”.The street was eerily empty as the fire raged on.

  


The street was empty.

  


_The street was empty._

  


She frantically opened up her phone and began to type in 911, her fingers shaking. It only rang for half a second before an operator was asking her what her emergency was. 

  


“There’s a fire on Fourth and Main.” She hoped that she wasn’t the first person to call this in, that the woman would tell her help was on the way, but no such luck. 

  


“Emergency services have been dispatched and should arrive shortly.” 

  


Iris wanted to scream because arriving shortly wasn’t going to be fast enough. She knew how far the fire station was, and her dad had trained her on all the various response times for police and firefighters. “Please hurry I think there may be people inside.” 

  


“Emergency services are on the way,” the woman repeated. “Now, ma’m, please move away from the-“

  


Iris clicked the end button because like hell was that happening. She thought that maybe she could hear people shouting from inside, but then again maybe that was her imagination. She was just weighing her options, when her phone rang. She didn’t even look at the Caller ID before she answered with a huffed, “Hello?” 

  


“Are you mad at me because of the Hayden Christensen thing? Because I can’t imagine why else you’d ignore a text about food.” 

  


He was laughing and it sounded so out of place amidst her panic that it took her aback. “What? No, no, I just…”

  


It was evident he could hear the terror in her voice because he quickly cut her off. “Iris, what’s wrong?” It was a tone she’d never heard him use before, commanding and scared but also soothing. She could practically see the fear on his face and under different circumstances she’d probably tease him for worrying over her. 

  


As it happened the circumstances were what they were and so she couldn’t help but sound a little anxious as she replied, “There’s a fire. There’s a fire on Fourth and Main and I think people are stuck inside.” 

  


“Did you call 911?” 

  


She almost rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m not an idiot, but they’re not going to get here before someone gets hurt.” As soon as the words were out, she knew what she had to do. 

  


He must’ve figured out her next move too, because the way he said, “Iris,” was clearly a warning.

  


Iris steeled herself. “If anything happens, tell my dad and Eddie that I love them.” She almost tacked on that she loved him too, platonically, of course, but she really wasn’t planning on dying so she decided to save that one. 

  


Hanging up the phone, she ran into the building before she could think twice. 

  


Smoke filled the hallways and she realized that this was probably going to be slightly more difficult than she anticipated. She quickly pulled her t-shirt over her nose and mouth and crouched low as she made her way to the stairs. “Hello?” Iris screamed as she began to climb up. 

  


“Help!” Someone yelled back and it was faint but it was there.

  


She quickened her pace and reached the first floor with relative ease. The voice had definitely come from the right, and so she turned to the first door on that side. Using a technique she’d only seen on tv shows, she stepped back a pace and then brought her foot up to the center of the door. One more kick sent the thing flying open and smoke quickly came pouring out causing her to cough. 

  


“Help!” The voice called again. 

  


Iris let go of her shirt so it was no longer protecting or obstructing her mouth. “Where are you?” The wall of smoke was stinging her eyes and making it difficult to see, but there didn’t appear to be any fire.

  


“I’m in the bedroom! Over here!”

  


She followed the general direction of the voice, stumbling around blindly until she came to a room in the back of the apartment. “Are you in here?”

  


In answer to her question, a little girl no older than three or four ran over to her. “I can’t find my mom and dad! This is their room but I can’t find them!”

  


Iris crouched down in order to evade the smoke but also to be on her level. “What’s your name?” 

  


The little girl was sobbing, but she answered nonetheless. “Sadie.” 

  


“Hi Sadie, my name is Iris.” She reached out and placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I promise I’ll find your parents, but let’s get you out of here first, okay?”

  


Sadie took a little time they didn’t have to consider that before she nodded. Iris let out a sigh of relief and scooped up the young girl, surprised at how light she was. She then turned to leave this whole mess behind, but they never made it to the door.

  


Iris came to a halt as a horrible groaning noise sounded through the apartment. She turned just in time to see the metal frame of the bedroom window begin to buckle. Her first instinct was to shield Sadie’s small body with her own as the whole thing shattered and glass shards flew out in every direction.

  


She shut her eyes and prayed for a miracle. 

  


A miracle was what she got. 

  


She only vaguely registered a gust of wind and then suddenly she was cold. Iris opened her eyes to find that she was standing outside the condominium with Sadie still clutched in her arms. 

  


Iris had no idea what had just happened, and she didn’t have time to try and guess because there was another blast of air and a couple was standing with them. They both also looked horribly confused, but then Sadie was screaming “Mommy, Daddy!” and clambering out of Iris’ arms.

  


It happened again, more times than Iris could count. There would be a gust of wind and then someone new would be standing with them. The whole process took less than two minutes, but it was enough time for Iris to figure out what was happening. 

  


One more person came out of the building just as the firefighters pulled up. There was a beat as everyone who had been inside turned to look at each other. She figured maybe that was it, maybe he’d left. She tried to swallow the disappointment. 

  


Then suddenly she was standing on top of her apartment complex. 

  


“I’d ask what you were thinking, but I think the better question would be were you thinking?” 

  


His face was blurred, but Iris would venture to guess he looked pissed. She, on the other hand, was riding a wave of adrenaline that probably came with not dying. “Did you get everyone out?” 

  


The question only seemed to aggravate him more. “Seriously? That’s what you’re going to say to me? Seriously?” 

  


“Yeah, that’s what I’m going to say to you. Did you get everyone out?” 

  


He paused and seemed to collect himself. “Everyone is out.” 

  


She couldn’t help herself when she asked, “Are you sure?”

  


“Iris!” 

  


She heard it then in the way his voice twisted around her name. Like he was in pain. Like he was terrified. Like he cared.

  


When Leonard Snart had nearly killed her at the bank that day, Flash had seemed more amused than concerned for her safety. Now his demeanor had shifted entirely. He had been genuinely worried that something would happen to her, that she would die. She wasn’t sure what had caused the change, but she found herself a bit taken aback.

  


She walked towards him and then suddenly she was moving faster and her arms were around him and she was hugging The Flash. She felt him stiffen momentarily before he relaxed and hugged her back, squeezing her maybe a bit too tightly. 

  


“I’m alright,” she whispered without pulling away. “You saved me. You saved all those people.” 

  


He shrugged and her chin, which was resting on his shoulder, bobbed up and down. “Seemed like the right thing to do,” he muttered in the distorted voice she was growing used to.

  


She pulled back then so that she could look him in his vibrating face. “You never struck me as someone who particularly cared about right versus wrong.” 

  


Slowly, and that was probably the first time that word had been used to describe him, he reached up and rubbed a thumb across her cheek. She had no idea what he was doing until his glove came away covered in soot. “Never had a reason to before.” 

  


And she so desperately wanted to ask _before what_ , but in a blink of an eye he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so we're taking major deviations from canon (like I haven't already lol), but i hope you'll stick with me! this chapter is also a little bit shorter than the others, but the trade off is that I'll get the next one up next week. So a bit of a faster turn over rate :). You guys have been so awesome and I'm so grateful! Comments and kudos make my world go round!!!!

**Iris:** hey. need coffee ASAP. meet at jitters in 5.

 

**Barry:** Don’t you have a boyfriend for this kind of stuff? 

 

**Iris:** he’s at work.

 

**Barry:** So am I.

 

**Iris:** yeah, but i want to see you! just bring your case files.

 

**Barry:** I’m not giving you any scoop this time…

 

**Iris:** how dare you question my motives!

 

**Iris:** but since you mentioned it…

 

**Barry:** no.

 

**Iris:** fine. 

 

**Iris:** remember when i almost died in that tragic fire?

 

**Barry:** seriously?

 

**Barry:** I’m on my way. 

 

** OOO **

 

“What the hell is this?” 

 

Iris looked up at her boyfriend, a piece of spaghetti still hanging out of her mouth. He was offering no explanation for his outburst, so she looked down at what he’d dropped on the table. 

 

_The Flash Saves 76 From Fire_

 

She kind of figured he’d be pissed, but she’d also hoped he’d wait until they were at home to confront her. She never anticipated he’d pick this fight in Barry’s lab of all places.

 

Eddie had been surprisingly supportive of her friendship with Barry, given how unsupportive he was of her time with the Flash. He gave her no grief over the fact that she’d been spending more time with Barry than him, and she was beginning to feel guilty that she often came to CCPD and didn’t even say hi to him. 

 

Still, airing out their dirty laundry kind of felt like something they shouldn’t do in front of her neighbor. 

 

“It’s the newspaper,” she replied somewhat cheekily in the hopes that he would just drop it.

 

Eddie huffed. “It’s the front page of the newspaper featuring an article that you wrote depicting The Flash as some kind of hero.”

 

Iris looked over at Barry, embarrassed that he had to witness her scolding, but his eyes were locked on the headline. Sighing, she turned back to her boyfriend. “My job is to report the truth, that’s what I did.” 

 

“The truth,” he replied and he almost laughed the word. “The truth is that The Flash is a menace, public enemy number one, and you’re jeopardizing our chances of bringing him in by writing this story. What would your father think?”

 

That comment pissed her off. “I’m not a child, my father’s opinion doesn’t matter. Besides, he’s actually grateful to The Flash considering, oh I don’t know, he saved my life!”

 

“Iris, he’s dangerous! He could kill you!” 

 

Iris literally threw her hands up. “Well for some weird reason he hasn’t even though he’s had ample opportunity to do so, so I guess we’ll find out!”

 

She knew where Eddie was coming from. She knew all he cared about was her safety. She knew that maybe he was even a little upset she’d been spending so much time concerned aboutanother man. So that’s why when he stormed off, she felt a tiny pang of guilt. 

 

Mostly she was just mad.

 

Iris knew it was unfair to lash out at Barry, but he was also the only other person here. “Thanks for the help, Barry.” 

 

He didn’t even look up at her, too focused on the newspaper that was now in his hands. She literally had to snap in front of his face to get his attention. 

 

“What did you do?” He breathed.

 

Barry looked absolutely terrified, and then suddenly she was too. 

 

All she could manage to get out was “What?” 

 

His eyes were vacant as he said, “I have to go.” He ran out of the room, paper still in hand.

 

Iris was alone.

 

**OOO**

 

“Do you have a death wish?”

 

She kind of anticipated he’d be mad. After all, he had specifically told her that he didn’t want to clean his image up. So when she found herself back on the rooftop of her apartment, Flash facing her a few feet away, she wasn’t surprised. She had a theory and that meant that she wasn’t about to quit.

 

Iris West was nothing if not persistent. 

 

“You’re referring to the article then?” 

 

He let out an annoyed sigh. “Is there something else that I should know about?” 

 

Iris smiled. “Probably.” She paused and then continued, “But to answer your question, I don’t have a death wish.” 

 

He laughed and ran an agitated hand over the back of his neck. “Then why do you keep running into the fire? Both literally and metaphorically.”

 

She shrugged. “Proving a point.” 

 

He looked at her then, his tone deadly serious. “You’d risk your life to prove a point?” 

 

“Absolutely.” 

 

She though that maybe she was going to give him a literal aneurism as he exasperatedly replied, “Do you realize what a big target you’ve painted on your back.” 

 

It had fleetingly occurred to her that it might be bad to attach her name to his, but she needed him to know that she trusted him enough to do so. For the sake of the investigation. 

 

“I can handle myself.” 

 

He stepped closer to her. “Iris, you’re dealing with some seriously bad people who can do very bad things.” Flash sounded incredibly conflicted as he added, “I’m one of those people.” 

 

Iris folded her arms over her chest and she wasn’t sure why she became hostile each time he insulted himself. “That’s not true.” 

 

“Yes it is. You don’t even know me.”

 

“Let’s not lie to each other, okay?” She snapped and then she realized how comical that statement was. Their whole relationship was built on lies. Flash lied about his identity, Iris lied about her motives, and she wasn’t sure what was worse. Deciding to change the subject, she said, “Tell me something. If you’re such a bad guy, why has no one ever died at the scene of any of your crimes.” 

 

He flinched, but said nothing and she knew she was on to something.

 

“Or why after every one of your robberies, a donation almost equal to that of which you stole is made to a museum, or hospital, or homeless shelter.” 

 

“Happy coincidence,” he tried, but it was a half-assed attempt. 

 

She was surprised she’d figured it out at all. If she was a lesser reporter she wouldn’t have. Flash was very good at covering his tracks. He was a villain who’d never killed anyone, which could only mean one thing.

 

He wasn’t really a villain. 

 

Maybe not in the eyes of the law, because stealing was still a no-no, but he wasn’t in her book. She wasn’t sure when she’d become someone who could overlook criminal activity, but she seemed to be throwing all the rules out now.

 

“How’d you figure it out?” He asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

 

Iris rocked back and forth on her heels, proud of herself. “My friend and I went to the Central City Science Museum a few days ago. I noticed that they’d just received a donation of half a million dollars, which is the same amount of money…”

 

“That I stole from Central City Municipal Bank,” he finished for her. Now that she’s said it she can tell he’s frustrated with himself. Trust Iris to miss no detail.

 

She’d have to thank Barry for dragging her ass there much too early on a Sunday morning. 

 

“I kept looking and a pattern emerged.” He wasn’t saying anything, and she needed one of her many questions answered, so she asked. “Why play the part? Why do it if you aren’t all that committed?”

 

He sighed. “It’s complicated, Iris.” 

 

If he deflected one more time she was going to shove him off the top of the building. “You know you keep saying that, but I’m starting to think it’s not.” 

 

His tone came out almost condescending as he replied. “This is what I’m supposed to do. This is who I’m supposed to be.”

 

“According to who?”

 

He tossed up one of his hands as though the answer were obvious. “Everyone! The people of Central City, and the police, and…” Flash cut himself off. 

 

Alarm bells sounded in her head and her gut swooped. There was so much more to this story, and maybe she was finally getting somewhere. “And who?”

 

Naturally, he did what he did best and shut her out. “Everyone. Everyone except for you apparently.”

 

She decided that maybe it was best to take a new approach. “You donated to the cancer wing at the hospital a while back. Do you remember that?” 

 

He seemed confused, but went along nonetheless. “Sure.”

 

This was one subject Iris never really liked to talk about and she had to take a moment to prepare herself. Her relationship with her mother had been complex and painful and when it had come to an end, part of Iris had been grateful. It meant that she no longer had to think about it. 

 

But if she wanted Flash to be open with her, she needed to do the same. 

 

“My mom was a patient there at the time. She was a complicated woman with a complicated past. She’d left my dad a long time before that and my brother couldn’t look at her like that, so it was just me at the end. I remember when the doctors came and told us that she could receive additional rounds of chemo because of that donation. You gave me more time with her, and you didn’t even realize it. _I_ didn’t even realize it.” She paused so that she could swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. Those last few weeks had been the only time Iris and her mom had ever bonded. They’d been the light at a very dark tunnel. “You keep insisting you aren’t a hero, and because of that I keep expecting to uncover something that’ll prove you right. But the more I dig, the more I get to know you, the more it looks like you’re wrong.” 

 

He watched her for a long time, seemingly at war with himself. He looked torn between coming to hug her and running away. He started to speak several times but kept cutting himself off. Finally, he said, “I don’t know what you want from me.”

 

She walked towards him so that his vibrating chest was touching her still one. “I want you to let me help.”

 

“You are.”

 

Then he was gone.

 

One week later a beautiful, new, expensive-looking tree was planted in front of Central City Memorial Hospital.

 

A plaque read “In memory of Francine West.” 

 

**OOO**

 

So Barry was dating someone. 

 

She wasn’t really surprised, per say. He was a total catch, and she’d been shocked he’d been single when she’d met him and in the subsequent months following. 

 

Iris wasn’t surprised, but she was a little miffed. 

 

The main reason was that he didn’t tell her he was dating anyone, let alone an officer at CCPD. No, no she had to walk in on the two of them kissing in his lab and then he was saying that he didn’t want to tell her until there was something to tell but it sure looked like there was something to tell, Bartholomew. 

 

She probably should’ve suspected something was up. Ever since her article was published he seemed to be avoiding her and acting strangely, but she’d been so preoccupied with the investigation she hadn’t thought twice. Still, he should’ve told her the moment they started seeing each other because they were best friends. That’s why she was mad.

 

That was one of the reasons, anyway. 

 

Truthfully, Iris thought that she would’ve liked Patty had circumstances been different. Patty was smart, and tough, and obnoxiously nice, and beautiful in a way that wasn’t helping Iris’ confidence. Then again, she shouldn’t really be making comparisons to Patty because it wasn’t like they were in competition with one another. 

 

Patty was dating Barry, and Iris was not. That didn’t bother her. Really.

 

What did bother her, and she would actually willingly admit this, was that Barry had been spending a lot more time with Patty than her in past weeks. He never, ever blew her off, but whenever she’d try and make plans with him, he’d be booked. She kept reminding herself not to be resentful though because that’s what it was supposed to be like when you have a significant other. They were meant to be your priority. 

 

Except sometimes she doesn’t think that Patty is his priority.

 

It’s still her that he spends his lunch hours with, even though he works in the same building as the woman he’s seeing. He always responded to her texts no matter when they were or who he was with. She was the one he called when he had a scientific breakthrough, or just wanted to chat about something stupid. One time he even cancelled a date because she’d watched _Marley & Me_ and had been crying so hard he was scared to leave her. 

 

It shouldn’t make her happy.

 

It did anyway. 

 

Now was really not the time to be thinking about Barry, not when she was with her boyfriend. 

 

In his parent’s house.

 

At his family’s holiday party. 

 

It was a beautiful affair, but she’d expect nothing less from the Thawne family and all that old money they had. Everyone was dressed to the nines, and Iris was just vain enough to admit that she looked fucking amazing in the tight floor-length red gown she was wearing. Eddie had been dotting on her the entire evening, and he didn’t look half-bad in his suit. She’d met Eddie’s parents before, but this was the first time she’d met the entire extended family, her schedule never usually allowing her to go to his event. 

 

They were all lovely people, and she was just thinking about what it might be like to join said family when Barry walked through the door.

 

He had Patty on one arm and was flanked by an older man she’d never seen before. He looked good, tall and lean and mysterious, but it was evident that he was uncomfortable. Perhaps sensing her gaze, his eyes instantly found hers and he seemed just as surprised as she was to see her. Patty, looking sickeningly gorgeous in a gold gown, said something to him then and he looked away. 

 

Iris turned to Eddie who was chatting with his grandmother, and dragged him into the corner of the room. “Why is Barry here?”

 

“That was rude, Iris.” Eddie told her as he waved apologetically at his older relative. 

 

She knew it was, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. “Why is Barry here?” She repeated. “You didn’t think to give me a warning.” 

 

Eddie shrugged. “I figured if he was going to show, he would’ve told you. He doesn’t usually come to these sorts of things.” 

 

She was whispering, but her voice was strained as she replied, “Why would he come to these sorts of things?” 

 

“He’s my cousin.” 

 

Whatever she’d been expecting to hear, that wasn’t it. It took her a minute to gather herself, and when she did all she could get out was “What?” 

 

He sighed. “My aunt Nora was his mother.”

 

Iris had to work to close her mouth because it was hanging open in a decidedly unladylike manner. “And no one thought to tell me that?” 

 

“Before you and Barry became friends, he and I were basically strangers. I didn’t grow up in Central City, so I never saw him before his mom died. Our Uncle Eobard took him in and he’s kind of the black sheep of the family, so we didn’t see him after his mom died either. The first time I met the guy was when we worked a case together. CCPD is our only real connection, apart from you.” 

 

She was hearing what he was saying, but it was like her brain refused to process it. Iris could understand why Barry wouldn’t want to talk about his family situation, but Eddie should have at least clued her in. She could tell now by his facial expression that he knew that.

 

So when she turned and stalked away from him without a second glance, he didn’t stop her. Her first instinct was to go and find Barry, but then she remembered that he was with Patty and that wasn’t really something she wanted to deal with. She was debating on just leaving when someone stepped directly into her path.

 

“Iris West.” It wasn’t a question, he knew exactly who she was despite them being strangers. 

 

Iris looked the man, the one Barry had walked in with, up and down. “Eobard Thawne,” She assumed. 

 

He looked pleased. “So you know who I am.”

 

“And you know who I am.” 

 

“Well how could I not know the infamous Iris West?” He laughed. 

 

Judging by the fact that Eddie had called his uncle the “black sheep of the family,” she assumed Eobard knew her from Barry. “That’s me. I can’t imagine what Barry must’ve said about me.”

 

Eobard smiled and maybe it was just his face, but it came off as a grimace. “All good things, believe me.” 

 

She very nearly asked him what things Barry had said, but then the man in question was suddenly by her side and he looked kind of pissed. 

 

“Eobard,” he said, and it came out sounding like a warning.

 

Thawne seemed oblivious to the tension. “Barry! I was just becoming acquainted with Ms. West. She’s just as lovely as you described her.” 

 

Now Barry was pissed and bright red. “I’m sure there’s a million things Iris would rather be doing than talking to you.”

 

Before Iris could say anything, Eobard was jumping back in. “Now don’t be rude, Barry. I’m just trying to get to know her better; she’s become such a topic of debate in our household.” 

 

She wanted to ask what the hell they’d been “debating” about, but Eobard was on a roll and he seemed to be getting more worked up. 

 

“And it’s not just us who find you such a fascinating figure, Ms. West! Apparently, you’ve been spending a lot of time with The Flash! Lovely article you wrote, by the way. It just warmed my cold, dead heart.” Eobard was talking about her, but he wasn’t looking at her. 

 

Iris sensed that this wasn’t just about her, so she decided now would be an excellent time to hit up the bar. “I’m going to get some champagne,” she interjected maybe a touch too cheerily. 

 

“I’ll come with you,” Barry offered.

 

Quite frankly, she wanted to just be as far away from the fucked up Thawne family, which apparently included Barry, as she could. “You should probably go check in on your date,” she replied maybe a little spitefully, but she was gone before Barry could say anything. 

 

The bartender looked slightly alarmed by the urgency with which she ordered her drink, but he gave her the alcohol nevertheless. When she downed that and ordered another, he didn’t even hesitate. 

 

Three things happened then.

 

Eobard left the room.

 

Barry looked around, presumably to find her, and shot her an apologetic gaze before he began to make his way over from across the dance floor. 

 

A man walked up beside her and stabbed her in the stomach. 

 

It was a subtle movement, one that didn’t raise even the suspicions of the couple standing beside her. Truth be told, she wouldn’t have been positive it had happened if not for the white-hot pain in her side. The man grabbed her arm before she could even try and move and pulled her close. “Tell the Flash to consider this a warning from the Reverse,” he whispered and then he let her go.

 

She went slumping to the floor in a very ungraceful manner. Some part of her brain thought that if Patty Spivot had just been stabbed she would’ve gone down much more elegantly. Her hand instantly went to her side, and when she pulled it away it was covered in blood. Another stupid part of her brain thought that it was good she’d worn a red dress. 

 

Barry was there then and the adrenaline must have been warping her sense of time because he’d gotten to her much too quickly. He looked so concerned, so scared, so she reached up and stroked his face. She belatedly realized that her actions were getting blood all over him and she tried to rub it off but that only made it worse. Barry looked around, but no one had seemed to notice her predicament. She thought that maybe he’d call for help, but he didn’t do that either. He just sat there, holding her as she bled out on the floor. 

 

The blood loss was causing her to fade fast and she thought that this might be it. There was so much she still wanted to say, but all she could manage was a “Barry,” before her eyes shut without her permission. 

 

There was a spark of electricity, followed by a rush of air, and maybe she was flying.

 

Then she was out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I'd get this to you in roughly a week and I'm a woman of my word (plus all the comments asking for an update kept me typing!)! My birthday is on Monday so it's my present to you :). Also feel free to follow me on my tumblrs: @emmaspirate (general) and @iriswestaf (Flash specific). Thank you guys so much for all the love and support. Hope you enjoy :)

Getting stabbed sucked. 

 

Iris would not recommend it in the slightest. When she finally started to rally she almost wished she could stay out a little longer. She was pretty sure the aftermath was actually somehow worse than the actual event. Hospitals were one of her least favorite places, ranking slightly above the DMV. Her entire body hurt, even though she’d only been hit in her abdomen, and she also had horrible cotton-mouth. It took every ounce of strength left in her to force her eyes open.

 

It was only then that she realized she wasn’t in the hospital. 

 

The room she was in was beautiful in a clinical, technological sort of way. She was hooked up to machines she was pretty sure weren’t available in the public domain. The walls around her were all glass, and she could see into the adjacent room, which was filled with all sorts of scary looking machines. 

 

Scary looking machines and a Latino kid. 

 

He looked to be around her age, maybe a bit younger, with jet black, shoulder length hair and dark brown eyes. He was sucking on a lollipop and seemed engrossed in the screen in front of him. 

 

Iris had to work a few times to get her voice back, and she still barely managed to croak out, “Hey!” 

 

The man turned in alarm, nearly falling out of his seat. He then scrambled up and over towards her, stopping only when he reached the doorway. “You’re awake!” 

 

Iris moved slowly so that she was propped up on her forearms. “Where am I? Who are you?”

 

He nodded. “Reporter. Right. You know I, uh, I’m not actually supposed to talk to you, so I…” He cut himself off then, and turned his head slightly towards an empty hallway. “Guys! She’s up!” 

 

Iris started panicking then. “You better start talking before it’s you in this bed,” Iris growled, trying her best to sound threatening. 

 

She sensed that if this kid wasn’t so small and jumpy, her words wouldn’t have had any effect. Luckily, he seemed to be terrified. “Guys! She’s up and she’s scaring me!”

 

Then suddenly, they weren’t alone in the room anymore. 

 

A woman wearing a black dress and a lab coat seemingly appeared out of nowhere and began tapping the monitors. “She’s recovering from a stab wound, Cisco. I think you’ll be alright.” 

 

The man, Cisco, crossed his arms over his chest. “You say that, but you know I’m a lover not a fighter.” 

 

Iris was so busy staring at the two of them that she didn’t even notice the third party in the room until a familiar voice piped in. “Would you two knock it off? She’s been through enough.” 

 

Her head whipped towards the direction the voice was coming from so fast she thought she may pass out again. Sure enough, Flash was standing a few feet from her bed, cowl up and face blurred. She knew she shouldn’t be happy he was there, but it was damn good to see a familiar face after this ordeal. 

 

Leaning back against the bed, she smiled. “Glad you’re here. I was beginning to worry I’d been kidnapped.” 

 

His distorted voice almost sounded guilty as he said, “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Iris. I should’ve been there.”

 

She shrugged, and the movement hurt. “Not your fault. Couldn’t be helped.” 

 

Iris knew that he’d continue to beat himself up over this, but for the time being he seemed to switch into hero mode. “Did you see who stabbed you? Did you recognize him?”

 

“Saw him. Didn’t recognize him. He did, um, he did say something to me though.” 

 

Everyone in the room turned to stare at her then and she felt very self-conscious. She was just trying to avoid eye contact when a small insignia on one of the machines tripped her up. 

 

“Am I in STAR Labs?” She asked without thinking. 

 

You could’ve heard a pin drop. 

 

With no warning, Cisco threw his hands up and said, “I told you we should’ve blindfolded her.”

 

The three of them began to argue then and it actually proved to be a good thing because Iris needed a minute to collect herself. 

 

They were at STAR Labs, a lab that had been abandoned following the Particle Accelerator explosion. This was his base of operations. She already had the name of one of his affiliates, and she could almost certainly figure out the name of the woman tending to her. She had more than enough now. 

 

She’d infiltrated the Flash’s inner circle. 

 

“We’ll deal with this later,” The Flash said. “Iris, can you tell me what the man who attacked you said?” 

 

Iris shifted, mind whirling around too quickly for her to think. “He, um, he told me to tell you to ‘consider this a warning from the Reverse’. Does that mean anything to you?”

 

It was a stupid question really, and she was given an obvious answer when he turned around and punched a wall. 

 

“Calm down,” the woman barked.

 

Flash spun around, eyes blazing. “Don’t tell me to calm down right now, Caitlin! Did you hear what she said?” 

 

Caitlin took a step towards him, unflinching, and Iris liked her already. “Yes, I heard her and we’ll figure it out, but your outburst is causing her heart rate to rise and she really can’t afford that right now!” 

 

Flash turned to look at Iris and she resisted the urge to shrink under his gaze. His blurry expression seemed to soften after a moment and he didn’t look away from her as he said, “Okay.”

 

Iris was hesitant to bring up what was clearly a sore subject, but she deserved answers. “So who is Reverse?”

 

“Reverse Flash, another speedster. We have a complicated history. He’s my rival of sorts, my opposite.” 

 

Cisco cut in then, excited in spite of the circumstances. “He’s got this yellow suit and he’s mad fast. It’s pretty dope actually.” There was a wistful note to his voice that Iris found almost funny.

 

Flash shot him a look and Cisco’s mouth clamped shut. “ _Anyway_ , he’s been tormenting me for years. Every move I make he’s always one step ahead. No matter how hard I try to stop him he just keeps taking from me.”

 

It was all too much really. She was being targeted by someone not even the fastest man alive could get his hands on, and she suddenly felt intensely guilty about the fact that she was supposed to send everyone in the room to jail. She couldn’t breath.

 

“I would like to go home now.” She looked up at Caitlin and asked, somewhat desperately, “Can I go home now?” 

 

The doctor seemed to sense Iris was on the verge of a breakdown, and that maybe it was better she be somewhere familiar, so she nodded. “Your vitals are stable, so I think that should be fine. If you have any discomfort come back here, and I’d like to check in on you in a week to track your progress.”

 

“Thank you, Doctor…”

 

Caitlin smiled. “Snow. Caitlin Snow.” 

 

“Iris West.” Iris stuck out her hand and the other woman grasped it eagerly. 

 

There were a few moments of terse silence that followed as Dr. Snow began to unhitch Iris from all the machines she was attached to. As soon as that was done, Iris leapt up, which she instantly regretted, but she did her best not to show it for fear that they would make her stay. 

 

Flash waited a moment, and then stepped forward. “I can run you home.” 

 

“No!” Iris yelled and the expression on his face made her instantly regret it. “I mean it’s not you at all. The idea of speeding around just is really unappealing right now. If you go get my car I can drive myself home.” 

 

“Now that I don’t feel comfortable with,” Caitlin cut in. 

 

“Well then I’ll take the bus.” It was only sort of a joke.

 

Flash made some sort of snorting noise. “I’m not just going to let you go home alone when you’ve just been _stabbed_. I may be a villain but I’m a chivalrous one.” 

 

Iris sighed, feeling entirely over the conversation. “Well then can I call someone to come pick me up?”

 

Caitlin and Flash shared an uneasy look, but it was Cisco who said what they both were clearly thinking. “Your boyfriend and your dad are both cops and you just propose we let them waltz into our base of operations? Should I let them borrow our pair of handcuffs too?”

 

The comment only caused her to get more worked up because if only he knew the truth. “No, no, no! I’m not an idiot! Besides, I don’t really think I can deal with my dad fussing all over me right now, and Eddie is the last person I want to see.” The words were out before she even had time to process them, but it alarmed her to realize that they were the truth. 

 

Flash looked just as surprised as she was, and his voice came out... odd, given the circumstances, almost hopeful as he asked, “Really?”

 

The more she thought about it, the more sure she became. There was only one person she wanted to see right now. One person that would make her feel like the world wasn’t coming down around her. “I was hoping my friend Barry could come get me. He won’t say a word, I swear. He’s very trustworthy.”

 

It was almost comical the way the three of them looked at each other. Caitlin looked disapproving, Cisco looked smug, and Flash was somehow a combination of confused, sheepish, and elated. 

 

“You sure that’s who you want to come get you,” Flash asked, uncertainty in his voice. 

 

“I just want to see him. Please.” 

 

He sighed and turned to leave. “Alright, I’ll go contact him.”

 

“Actually I’d like to speak to you alone..” Her tone left no room for arguing.

 

Flash nodded and then turned towards Cisco, asking a question without words. 

 

“Sure let me just go see if I can find him in the Yellow Pages.” 

 

With a salute, Cisco left the room and Caitlin quickly followed without another word. 

 

Iris waited a minute before speaking, instead choosing to take in her surroundings. She had assumed that STAR Labs had been completely destroyed following the explosion of the Particle Accelerator, which was supposed to change science completely. Apparently, it’s decrepit exterior was all just a ruse, because it all seemed to be working just fine. Either way, it was the perfect cover for Central City’s most notorious bad guy.

 

He was watching her, she could feel his eyes on him. When she turned around to face him, his posture was guarded and uncertain. She could tell he wasn’t entirely comfortable with her being there, and that begged only one question. 

 

“Why’d you bring me here?” 

 

He looked surprised. “You were dying.” 

 

Iris’ hand moved down to her wound almost instinctually. “Yeah, but why here? Why not to a hospital?”

 

He laughed, but it was an exasperated noise. “I don’t know, I guess I kind of did it without thinking. I trust Caitlin and Cisco with my life.” 

 

There was something unsaid in his statement, in _my life_. She was too scared to ask. 

 

“How’d you know that I needed you?” It was a silly question really, because he always just seemed to know when she needed him. She figured she’d ask anyway.

 

“My Iris West senses were tingling.” When she gave him a withering look, he quickly added, “And I was at the party.” 

 

Her mouth suddenly felt very dry. “You were at the party? Like you, you?” 

 

He laughed again, but it was genuine this time. “I’m always me, Iris, but if you’re asking if I was wearing the suit, I wasn’t. Reverse Flash was rumored to be poking around, probably due to all the obnoxiously wealthy Thawnes gathered in one room.” His voice grew quieter then. “I had no idea you were going to be there. If I’d known…”

 

She cut him off then with another “Couldn’t be helped.” Reverse Flash was still on her mind though, and one question was nagging at her. “I still don’t understand why he’d come after me. I mean, yeah, my name has been linked to yours, but lots of reporters in this city have written an article about you. What makes me so special?” 

 

Flash was quiet for a long time as he studied her carefully. A million different emotions seemed to flood him in an instant. She could almost see the second he made a decision, and his voice was strong, almost angry, as he replied. “Because he knows I care about you.”

 

A voice interrupted them from some overhead speaker. “Uh, Flash? Iris’ friend is here.” 

 

He paused for a second, presumably waiting for her to say something. When it was clear he wasn’t getting what he wanted, he sped out without another word.

 

She was grateful he left, because Iris was on the verge of collapse. 

 

She’d known it too, hadn’t she? She’d known he cared for her when he’d saved her from that fire, when he’d gone out of his way to see her, when he told her time and again to stop looking for trouble.

 

Somehow hearing him say the words made it all the worse. She couldn’t deny it anymore. She’d done her job. She’d gotten close to him. She’d gotten him to trust her. She’d break his heart when she betrayed him.

 

She’d break hers as well.

 

Because that was the truth of the matter, wasn’t it? She cared about him too. In what way she didn’t know, but she cared about him. She cared about him a whole lot.

 

Iris began to cry.

 

So it really was the perfect time for Barry to rush through the door, chest heaving like he’d been running and eyes searching for her. 

 

She was across the room in record time given her physical statethrowing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his chest. She really wished he hadn’t worn a white t-shirt, because she was most definitely staining it with her mascara. He didn’t seem to mind though as he wrapped his arms around her and began to make shushing noises. 

 

“I was so worried about you,” he said and she could tell by the pain in his voice that he meant it.

 

“I can’t do it Barry I can’t do it!” She cried into him. It was all too much. The guilt was going to eat her alive. 

 

He pulled back so he could look at her. “Can’t do what?” 

 

She was sobbing now, tears blurring her vision. “I can’t hurt him! I can’t keep hurting people! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” She was being non-sensical now, but she couldn’t stop herself. 

 

“Iris, Iris, stop.” He commanded softly. Barry ran his thumbs across her cheeks and she belatedly realized he was trying to clear off some of the tears. “It’s all going to be fine. You’re going to be fine, I’m going to make sure of it.” 

 

He was staring at her in a way she sometimes caught him doing. It was one of almost reverence, of deep devotion, of love. Whenever she’d seen that expression on his face before, she’d quickly look away and tell herself she’d made it up, because it was always gone when she looked again. This time though, she stared right back. She eased herself into his gaze and stayed there. Slowly her breathing returned to normal, and the tears stopped flowing as he cupped her face. She’d been right to call him, it was the first time she’d felt safe all day. 

 

He looked uncertain, and there seemed to be some sort of debate going on inside his head. She wanted to smooth out the furrow between his eyebrows. She wanted to run a hand through his mussed up hair.

 

She wanted to kiss him.

 

He gave her an uncertain smile then. “Let’s get you home,” he said.

 

Iris nodded and didn’t say that she thought she already was. 

 

**OOO**

Unknown: hey it’s Cisco.

 

Iris: how the hell do you have my number? 

 

Cisco: i’m a tech god? is that supposed to be a question?

 

Iris: are you trying to get blocked?

 

Cisco: i just wanted to let you know i installed a panic button on your phone. just hit the home button four times and it will alert us.

 

Iris: when did you do that???

 

Cisco: while you were passed out…

 

Iris: you hacked into my phone after i was recovering from a stab wound?

 

Cisco: is this the thanks i get for trying to keep you safe???

 

Cisco: btw you talk in your sleep

 

Iris: shut up.

 

**OOO**

 

 

She spent the next few weeks at Barry’s place. 

 

Her dad had initially proposed that she come home and stay there for a bit, but she was reluctant to completely uproot her entire life. In fact, she was doing her best to keep her routine as normal as possible. She returned to work as soon as she could, she brushed off the injury whenever anyone brought it up, she even started exercising again as soon as Caitlin gave her the okay. 

 

Everyone kept saying that her recovery was remarkable. 

 

Only Barry knew the truth.

 

That first night, after he’d picked her up from STAR Labs, Barry had insisted that he stay with her. She’d told him that he was being silly, that she was fine, even though she knew it was futile. He slept on the couch, his long body contorted like a pretzel so he’d fit, and she’d gone to bed shaking her head. 

 

She should’ve learned by now that Barry Allen was very rarely wrong. 

 

Iris woke up screaming and sweating, her eyes searching for an attacker that wasn’t there. Instead it was Barry by her side, having gotten to her in a second. He was holding her against his bare chest and wiping away tears she didn’t know she was crying. Barry was warm and soft and she counted the freckles on his upper body until she calmed down, the sound of his too-fast heartbeat in her ear. “I won’t let them hurt you,” he whispered, and she believed him.

 

So, yeah, after that incident she stuck pretty close to him. 

 

Eddie and Patty had both been very understanding of the situation. Eddie, she suspected, would do whatever made her feel better, and Patty couldn’t really say anything without coming off as a bitch. 

 

Of course neither of them knew that Barry and Iris shared a bed. 

 

The first few nights, Barry slept on the couch no matter how much Iris protested. She always woke up screaming, and the pair quickly found that his presence was the only thing that could soothe her. After that, they’d built a wall of pillows and slept with their backs to one another, but the pillows ended up on the ground and they ended up tangled up. Eventually they just gave up, Barry started sleeping with a shirt on, and they both accepted what was apparently inevitable.

 

He had no qualms with her all but moving in with him. It started slow, with her initially just spending the nights because she didn’t want to make him uproot everything for her. Then, without even realizing, she started slowly leaving things there. First it was a few pairs of clothes so that she wouldn’t have to go back to her place to change in the morning. Then it was her toothbrush and pajamas so she wouldn’t have to back to her place after work. Then it was her favorite mug, then her collection of vinyl, then she had all but taken over his bathrooms and closets. 

 

She didn’t really realize what she was doing until Barry was giving her a key because “he couldn’t be bothered to keep running to the door to let her in.” 

 

Iris would probably feel worse, but she was pretty sure Barry actually liked having her around. They’d settled into a nice routine, and she sensed that he had come to depend on it a bit. One time she’d gotten held up at work and she’d come home to find Barry sitting at the kitchen counter eagerly awaiting her arrival. It took her awhile to realize that Barry, who was more or less an orphan and only had a bunch of estranged relatives, probably got lonely. He had definitely lacked stability. That’s what she chocked all the times she’d caught him staring at her with a wistful smile on his face up to. 

 

Plus he cooked her breakfast every morning, so she wasn’t in a rush to leave. 

 

None of this was to say that her apartment wasn’t being used.

 

Quite the contrary, in fact. Her place had quickly turned into a little detective headquarters of sorts. The walls and floors were now littered with photos and newspaper articles about The Flash, and she’d even started connecting pieces with red tape, which initially made her feel ridiculous. Sticky notes dotted the room as well, with notes like “Reverse Flash?” and “potential sighting?” and “PICK UP DRY-CLEANING YOU IDIOT!”

 

She’d also used the database at CCPD to do some digging and find out more about Caitlin Snow and Cisco Ramon. Which, apart from some pictures, was very little. Both had attended Central City University, which was how she assumed they met. Caitlin was currently working at the hospital and Cisco’s occupation was listed as unemployed. They both paid their taxes and their social media accounts were relatively tame, although she now knew that Cisco was an awful dancer.

 

That was it.

 

Iris wasn’t entirely sure what she’d been expecting to find. A criminal history, perhaps? She didn’t know why the fact that they both seemed to be normal, good people upset her more than the imagined alternative. 

 

She really didn’t want to send them to jail.

 

That was probably the reason she’d turned all her attention to her developing obsession with Reverse Flash. She didn’t know why she thought she’d be able to figure it out when three incredibly intelligent people had not, but that wasn’t deterring her. At any rate, it was easier than dealing with her mounting guilt. 

 

Maybe it was fate intervening in that moment, maybe it was just dumb luck, but Barry called her then and some long forgotten memory came rushing back at the site of his name on the screen. 

 

_“There was lightning in the room, Iris. I saw a man in yellow.”_

 

_“A man in yellow?”_

 

_“He was staring at me. He wanted to hurt me. He killed my mom. You have to believe me, Iris, you have to!”_

 

_“I do, Barry. I do believe you.”_

 

Barry had come to stay with them in the days following his mother’s death. He’d told Iris what he’d seen that night, that everyone thought he was crazy. She never did. 

 

A man in yellow. 

 

Cisco’s words echoed in her ears then. “He’s got this yellow suit,” he’d said about Reverse Flash.

 

A man in yellow. 

 

Lightning. 

 

Iris looked back at what she was affectionately calling her murder board, a lump in her throat. The pieces all fit together, but she was having a hard time looking at the whole puzzle. She didn’t know what any of this meant, just that she was going to find out. One thing was for certain though; Nora Allen died at the hands of a speedster.

 

Reverse Flash had killed Barry’s mom. 

 

**OOO**

 

“You bitch.” 

 

Iris laughed. “You know that’s usually not what you say to someone who has just miraculously recovered from a stab wound.” 

 

Linda shoved her lightly on her good side. “It is when your best friend refuses to see you in the weeks since said stab wound. I was worried sick about you; who’s supposed to be my designated driver if you’re dead?” 

 

Iris sipped at her coffee. She did feel mildly guilty for blowing Linda off, but she’d been so busy and so tired that she just wasn’t much for company. 

 

Minus the one glaring exception. 

 

“I’ll make sure I arrange for you to have a DD in the event of my premature demise,” Iris teased. 

 

Linda glared at her over the top of her cup. “I’d much prefer that you just avoided the whole premature demise thing. It took me a long time to train you properly.” 

 

“Whatever you say, Park,” Iris conceded. 

 

Linda seemed to accept it. Then, feigning disinterest in a way that was so characteristically Linda in its obviousness, she asked, “So how are things? Eddie told me you’ve been staying at Barry’s.” 

 

Iris raised an eyebrow. “You talked to Eddie? You don’t like Eddie.” 

 

“I like Eddie.” As Iris’ eyebrow moved higher, Linda caught on that her friend wasn’t buying what she was selling. “I was worried about you, okay? I just find it kind of ironic that two years into your relationship with Eddie and you refuse to move in with him, and you’ve all but moved in with Barry after knowing him for a few months?” 

 

And just like that, Iris was the one on the defensive. “You were the one who told me not to rush things with Eddie!”

 

Linda laughed in disbelief. “Yes! A year and a half ago! I didn’t think you’d still be taking that advice.” 

 

“You know I have intimacy issues or whatever. You know I’m slow to trust people.” It was definitely not a lie. Iris generally liked to consider herself a kind-hearted person, but she knew she could come off as cold sometimes. It wasn’t that she didn’t like people, it was just that she hadn’t really had very many close friends growing up. She’d always been the type to know everything about someone, and have them know nothing about her without them realizing. Iris wasn’t the type to have a best friend. 

 

Linda was well aware of that fact. She’d had to work at her friendship with Iris, and she’d only done that because the two of them were the only normal women at CCPN. Linda shook her head. “I know. Believe me, I know. I just think that maybe it should suggest something to you that you have this _intimacy_ with a guy that you don’t know.” 

 

Iris bristled. “I do know him. We knew each other when we were kids.” 

 

Now it was Linda’s turn to be skeptical. “Honey, if I was still the same person I was when I was a kid you and I would not be friends. I was a shit.” She laughed and then grew quiet as she seemingly reflected on just what a shit she’d been. Shaking her head, she said, “My point is you seem to have more of a connection with Barry then you’ve ever had with Eddie.”

 

The thing was that Iris couldn't deny anything Linda was saying. She’d long ago recognized that there was something different about her relationship with Barry. Much of her life had been a fight, and she wasn’t resentful of that, but with Barry it was easy. It was as natural as breathing. She’d gotten so close with him so quickly, but it didn’t feel rushed at all. She felt like she’d known him all her life. It was like she’d been missing a limb and hadn’t realized its absence until one day it was back and “oh there you are.” He was a part of her. She felt like she knew him right down to his soul.

 

Which was mildly terrifying to think about so she didn’t really like to.   
  


Iris sighed. “So what? You want me to date Barry?” She knew she should be completely adverse to the idea because she was in a committed relationship, but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it once or twice. 

 

Linda reached out and took her hand. “I want you to be happy. You’re happiest when you’re with Barry. Anyone can see that. Besides, there is something sexy about that little string bean.” 

 

Iris leaned back against her chair. “Shut up.” 

 

“You didn’t deny it.” 

 

“He’s seeing someone.” She did her best to not sound bitter. She failed. 

 

“You can take her! Plus I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’d drop her in a second if you batted your eyelashes at him.” Linda made an indelicate snorting noise as though her assertion was obvious. 

 

And Iris was very much done with the conversation, so her tone became teasing as she said, “Well, like you said; I don’t know him. He could be a criminal for all we know.”

 

Linda, bless her soul, could always tell when Iris was done. She went along with the joke as she replied, “Oh, now that’d be fun. Con Artist?”

 

“Grand Theft Auto for sure.” 

 

“Drug Trafficking!”

 

“Robbery!”

 

Before Iris could even regret that last comment, Linda picked up on the obvious segway. “Speaking of robberies? How’s that case you’re, um, consulting on?” 

 

“Fine, thanks for asking.” All humor was gone now, and she took a long sip of her coffee in the hopes of dissuading Linda from pursuing the topic. 

 

Naturally it didn’t work. “You have any more face time with _him_?” She’d lowered her voice so that even Iris could barely hear her and she was looking around the room conspiratorially, which was definitely drawing more attention. 

 

Iris rolled her eyes. “There’s no need for dramatics.” Then, looking at her friend, who was so endearingly intrigued, Iris said, “Yes, he was actually the one who saved me after I was stabbed.” 

 

And as quiet as she’d been before, she was now that loud as she yelled, “Wait, what?” 

 

Iris grabbed her arm to shut her up. Dropping her voice lower, she scolded her. “Girl, can you not? Yes, he saved me.” She really shouldn’t tell Linda anything else, but this whole case was eating away at her and she knew her friend would only have her best interests at heart and was the most removed from the situation. So Iris said, “He took me to his base of operations.”

 

“Oh my god, Iris!” Linda hissed. 

 

“I know, I know!” 

 

Linda’s mind always seemed to work a mile a minute, but impossibly it seemed to be moving faster. “Have you told your dad? Or Eddie? Or Singh? Oh my god, Iris!”

 

“I know! No, I haven’t told anyone except you and that’s how we’re going to keep it. For now.” Her voice held a warning that she knew Linda didn’t need, but that she gave all the same. 

 

Linda nodded, seemingly processing the secret she’d been given. Then, connecting the dots much faster than Iris expected, she asked, “Wait, so is he the reason you got stabbed?” 

 

“He’s not the reason.” The hesitation was apparent. 

 

“But?”

 

And if she was going to give Linda details, she might as well give her all of them. “This man, another speedster, his enemy ordered the hit.”

  
Linda was quiet for a long time which was so uncharacteristic that it tripped her up. “Iris, this is insane. Maybe you should get out.” 

 

And she’d definitely thought about it, but she’d made a decision a long time ago and once that was done it was all over. “No, Linda. I think I can really do some good here. Besides, I’ll be fine. He won’t let anything happen to me.” 

 

There was another pause as a new thought seemingly popped into Linda’s head. “Why did he order the hit on you?”

 

This was a detail Iris wasn’t too keen on sharing because she knew it would be read into, but she also couldn’t really think of a good excuse, so she admitted, “According to The Flash, it’s because, uh, because he cares about me.” 

 

“He cares about you?” Linda’s eyes had gone wide, but her expression was composed, almost blank. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“He _cares_ about you.” Linda had a damn good poker face, but the emphasis on the word “cares” was giving her away. 

 

“Yes…” Iris drew the word out, not wanting to go where Linda was taking them. 

 

And then Linda literally squealed in a pitch so high Iris’ eardrums started ringing. “Oh my god, Iris! This is so hot! It’s so forbidden! First Barry and now The Flash. Damn girl you’re getting more action -“ 

 

Iris cut her off because that was not an idea that she needed anyone to have. “I’m not getting any action!” 

 

“Whatever you say.” Linda held up her hands and then moved to take another sip of coffee as she thought about Iris’ situation. “This is a tangled web you’re weaving.” 

 

Iris sighed. “Don’t I know it.” 

 

And then, in a rare turn, Linda’s expression turned serious and she reached out and took her best friend’s hand. “Just… please be careful. I hope you know what you're doing.” 

 

Iris, choosing to be honest to the end, couldn’t lie and said she did. All she said was “I do too.” 

 

**OOO**

 

 

She was a bad friend. 

 

She’d been avoiding Barry ever since the revelation that Reverse Flash had killed his mom. Iris found that she just couldn’t look at him without feeling horrible that she was looking into his mother’s murder and not telling him. She had really wanted to because she told him everything, but she figured it would be much worse to tell him and then have it turn out to be nothing. 

 

Or turn out to be something. 

 

So instead she fell back on her investigative reporter skills, and maybe that detective sensibility she’d inherited from her dad, and learned everything she could about the case. She went behind her dad’s back and made copies on all the files he had about Nora’s death. That one had been particularly guilt-inducing because it seemed like a double betrayal. She knew the smartest course of action would have probably been to get her dad and Barry involved, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was going at it alone, and she wasn’t having much luck. She’d also been sleeping like shit, if at all, so she had awful dark circles under her eyes and looked like a mess. 

 

The one benefit to all this was that her new case meant she had less time to focus on The Flash. 

 

She knew one of them was her job and one of them was not, but Barry would always come first in that scenario. Besides, at least she didn’t have to deal with the crippling guilt she felt at the idea of turning him into the authorities. Iris hadn’t seen him since the night she’d been attacked, and she found she was grateful for that. Realistically though she’d have to face him eventually because if she was going to figure this out she’d need his help. She decided that would come later. 

 

Instead she learned everything she could about Nora Allen. 

 

She had a contact she’d acquired while working on a piece for this paper who could find out anything and everything about seemingly anyone. Iris gave him a name and within a week he gave her a giant Manila envelope with their entire life history. 

 

Nora’s had been a happy one. 

 

Nora Marie Allen, née Thawne, had been well-loved by family and incredibly popular with friends. Henry Allen had been a doctor, but Iris suspected Nora was who Barry got his intellect from. She’d been class president of her graduating class and prom queen. She’d graduated college a year early and traveled around South America. Nora had adored her son and husband, but Iris already knew that. She’d died much too young, but she’d led a perfect picture life. 

 

Except for the fact that she’d filed a restraining order against Eobard Thawne. 

 

Her contact had floated her that information a few weeks after she’d received the rest. He’d told her that he’d never seen something so deeply buried, and that doing so would’ve cost a lot of money. He still didn’t have the details as to why it had been filed, but that it 23 years ago. Barry would’ve been four years old. 

 

If she didn’t like the guy before, she certainly didn’t now. 

 

The weird thing was that it wasn’t in any of her father’s police reports. Thawne hadn’t even been extensively questioned because he’d been in meetings in Keystone the morning and evening of the murder. There was no way he could’ve gotten to Central City and back in that amount of time. Still, it should’ve at least been noted that he and Nora hadn’t gotten along. So much so, in fact, that she’d felt unsafe with him. 

 

Something wasn’t right. 

 

So she’d gone to CCPD to use one of their computers to see if it was in the database at all. She wasn’t technically supposed to, but she had before. A couple of times. It really wasn’t her fault that her dad used her birthday as his password. If he didn’t want her in there he would’ve been smarter about it. Turns out, it really didn’t matter, because there was no record of the restraining order. 

 

What the hell?

 

“Iris!” A familiar voice called from across the room. 

 

She quickly muttered a few curse words under her breath as she frantically closed all the tabs she had open. “Hey babe!” She replied, a bit flustered, as she stood and faced him. 

 

Eddie smiled as he moved to kiss her quickly. “What’re you doing here?”

 

She didn’t miss the way his eyes lit up when she lied and said, “I came to see you.” Iris was blaming her accident for how neglectful of a girlfriend she’d become, but she knew she’d been that way before that. Eddie was being ridiculously understanding about the whole situation, not even batting an eye at the fact that she was spending most of her free time with Barry. Well, had been, before she’d begun digging into his past. 

 

“I’m so glad you’re here, but we just got a call about a drive-by shooting taking place so I have to go,” he replied, sounding genuinely disappointed. 

 

Iris, however, was not. She shifted into reporter mode. “Any fatalities?”

 

“One. We just got the ID on him. We’re pretty sure it was random.” His face shifted as some new thought occurred to him. “Actually, it’s good you swung by. I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel date night next Sunday.”

 

Iris pouted despite the fact that she was oddly fine with that. “Why?” She asked out of obligation more than curiosity. 

 

“I have to have dinner with Barry and my uncle. You remember, Eobard?”

 

Iris’ stomach twisted as she realized the opportunity she’d been presented with. She tried to sound flippant as she asked, “Why don’t I come?”

 

Eddie shifted a hand to her waist. “You’d want to?”

 

“Want might not be the word I’d use,” she lied. “But then I can entertain you and we can do something after.”

 

Eddie considered it briefly and then smiled. “Alright, that sounds great. I’ll tell Barry to bring Patty along too.”

 

Iris’s stomach twisted in a different kind of way. “Patty?”

 

“Yeah, we can both bring our girlfriends. It might make the evening easier. I really like Spivot too, she’s super nice and a great detective. The other day she...”

 

“Got it,” Iris snapped. She really didn’t need a reminder that Barry was dating Miss America. “Tell him to bring her.”

 

Eddie seemed unperturbed by her outburst. “You’re the best. I’ve got to go, but we can work out details later.”

 

Iris gave him a soft smile and nodded. “Sounds great.” She let him kiss her and then as he was walking away she called out. “Hey, since I’m doing this for you, how about you give me the name of your shooting vic?”

 

Eddie laughed. “You’re always on the job.” He turned and began to leave again, but called over his shoulder, “Brandon Carr.”

 

Her stomach didn’t twist this time, it churned. She had to sit down. She knew that name. Brandon Carr was her contact, the one who’d gathered info about Nora for her. Brandon had been digging into Eobard Thawne’s dirty laundry. 

 

He knew. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! All your lovely comments encouraged me to come back to this. Hope you like it! As always come chat with me on tumblr at emmaspirate.tumblr.com or iriswestaf.tumblr.com. I had a lot of fun writing the dinner party scene. Poor Barry, I'm putting him through the ringer. He has been very bad though... Sorry for the wait on this one, but it's going to get intense. xxx

Iris: need a favor.

  
Cisco: why do i feel as though this is going to end very badly for me?

 

Iris: because it probably will. 

 

Cisco: i’m listening. 

 

**OOO**

 

Not her finest hour.

 

Mind you, she looked fine as hell, but that was beside the point. She was currently sitting at a large mahogany table with Eddie at her right, Barry across from her, and Eobard at the head. 

 

Patty was there too but that was also beside the point. 

 

They were all midway through one of the most uncomfortable dinners she’d ever been at, and that was saying something because her family meals sometimes led to physical altercations. Eobard was prattling on and on about his life achievements, Eddie looked like he wanted to die, Patty was staring at Barry who was avoiding her gaze, and Barry was staring at Iris. 

 

This had been such a bad idea. 

 

Barry had tried to warn her off it, but she’d persisted. She’d also neglected to tell him to bring Patty along, but Eddie had done that for her because of course he had. They had all arrived about fifteen minutes late, probably hoping to avoid having to spend time alone with Eobard. Iris hadn’t spoken to Barry much about his uncle, but something was definitely off there. 

 

Considering Eobard had raised Barry, the two had an incredibly formal relationship. There was no warmth to the dynamic. She was pretty sure Eobard greeted Eddie with more enthusiasm. In fact, Barry had been downright weird the entire evening. When Eobard had moved to kiss her cheek in welcome, Barry had all but thrown himself between the two of them. She also didn’t miss the way he’d moved to take the seat next to her before realizing Eddie and Patty were there and his place was not beside her. 

 

She was pretty sure she had seen disappointment on his face.

 

She was pretty sure she felt it too.

 

“So, Iris,” Eobard called and her head snapped up as he broke her thoughts. 

 

She cleared her throat once to get her voice working. “Yes?” 

 

His face morphed into a perfect mask of sympathy. “I heard you were attacked a while back. I’m so happy you’re recovering,” he crooned. 

 

Eddie reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

 

Barry flinched visibly but said nothing.

 

“Just a few minor injuries, nothing to fuss over. I was lucky.” This was not a topic she was expecting to be brought up and it wasn’t one she wanted to dwell on.

 

It appeared as though Eobard had other ideas. “Lucky indeed. What do you supposed prompted the incident?”

 

Iris shrugged and hoped that would be the end of it. Naturally though, Eddie had to go and open his mouth. 

 

“Probably has something to do with all the time she’d been spending with The Flash,” he replied for her and there was a twist of malice in his voice. 

 

Eobard started to say something, but Iris cut him off. “We’ve been over this. Flash had nothing to do with this. Why do you keep bringing this up?” 

 

“Because you refuse to see him as a bad guy.” Eddie did not like all the time she’d been spending with The Flash. He said it was because it put her in danger, but she had other suspicions. 

 

Iris shrugged his arm off of her. Her tone was clipped as she tried to get him to give it a rest. “Maybe because he isn’t one!”

 

Eddie laughed. “He robs people, Iris!”

 

She had turned in her chair so that she was staring him head on. “Stealing money from people who can afford to lose it doesn’t make someone a bad person!”

 

“It makes them a criminal,” Eddie shot back. 

 

“And that doesn’t make them a bad person either. Not everything is that simple!” 

 

“He has hurt people.”

 

“No, he actually hasn’t. There hasn’t been a single fatality at any of his crime scenes.” She held up a pointer finger and suddenly felt like a mother scolding a child. “In fact, no one has walked away with even a scratch.” 

 

Eddie shook his head in exasperation. “Why are you so determined to see the best in him when it’s clearly not there?”

 

“Probably for the same reason you keep trying to see the worst.” She paused then, and maybe her tone turned slightly mocking as she replied. “The thing is, one of us is right and the other isn’t, and which one of us at this table actually knows him?”

 

“Well, if you _know_ The Flash so well maybe you should just date him.”

 

It was pettiness more than anything that led her to answer, “Maybe I will.” 

 

Their dinner companions had been silent during their entire argument. Eobard had been listening on with thinly-veiled amusement, Patty looked uncomfortable, and Barry was chugging water like he hadn’t had a drink in years. That is until her last comment, when he proceeded to start choking on it and spat it all over the table. 

 

“Pull yourself together, Barry,” Eobard sighed as he tossed a napkin in the direction of his nephew. 

 

Barry was still coughing as he began dabbing at the tablecloth. “Sorry,” he croaked.

 

Iris moved to help him but he quickly waved her off and she suddenly felt like everyone was staring at her. “I’m going to use the bathroom,” she muttered quietly and she took off before she could even bother to ask where it was.

 

She wasn’t going there anyway. 

 

Instead Iris began to meander aimlessly through the hallways. It wasn’t like she couldn’t just say she’d gotten lost in the too-big house. Her mind couldn’t help but wander as she sought out her destination. She found it odd that there were no pictures of Barry anywhere considering this was where he’d grown up. 

 

Odd, but not all that surprising. 

 

She came upon Eobard’s office at the end of a very long hallway. Iris was shocked to find that the room wasn’t locked, especially considering he likely knew she was suspicious of him. When she entered she was greeted by a large all glass desk with a laptop sitting innocuously in the center. That was it. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, something inherently more ghoulish perhaps, but it wasn’t that. Nevertheless, she could only imagine what was on that computer, so with a large breath she made her way over to it.

 

Iris had not told Cisco why she needed a way to hack into someone’s electronic device, only that it was for “journalistic purposes.” Thankfully, Cisco had a mischievous side and perhaps was a bit curious about her, because he was more than pleased to team up. He’d given her a USB plug that would, as he’d phrased it,“break even the toughest encryption”. When Iris had raised a skeptical eyebrow, he had simply promised her that it would work. 

 

Sure enough, the tech genius was able to put his money where his mouth was. 

 

She watched as Eobard’s screen turned jet black and a series of random green numbers began appearing in rapid succession. Cisco had warned her that this might happen, and luckily before she could get too panicked, files from the laptop began flashing before her to be stored on the USB. It was working.

 

It just needed to work a little bit faster. 

  
She wasn’t sure how long she could feasibly be in the bathroom and she knew someone at the table was bound to come looking for her eventually. She was actually in the process of whispering silently to the USB, trying to will it to work faster, when a photograph hanging on the wall caught her eye.

  
Her back had been to it when she’d entered the room which is why she’d completely missed it. It was the only other thing in the office so it jumped out now, and Iris made her way over to it slowly. 

 

Eobard was smiling broadly surrounded by three other men and one woman. They were all wearing lab coats and he seemed to be holding a vial of some non-distinct liquid. He looked much younger in the photo, maybe around the age that she was now. 

 

A tiny plaque on the bottom of the frame read, _STAR LABS, 1990._

 

Iris had no time to process this new revelation because there was a ping coming from the computer and that likely meant that the USB was done downloading. Scurrying over, she quickly snatched the device from its port and shut the laptop. Doing her best to leave everything the way it had been, she shut off the light and exited the office.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” A voice hissed from behind her.

 

She jumped and spun around to find Barry staring at her with a bewildered and angry expression. “I just, I was trying to find the bathroom, and I, I got lost?” She fumbled. 

 

It was very evident from the look he was giving her that he didn’t believe that for a second. “You got lost inside my uncle’s office?” He deadpanned back at her.

 

“It’s a very large house, okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t find my way around your family mansion!” She was growing very hot under the accusatory bent to his tone. Iris moved to step around him, but his grip on her forearm tightened ever so slightly. 

 

She suspected that if any other man grabbed her like that she would feel threatened, but this was Barry and she was suddenly all too aware of the blind panic on his face. “Iris, please, whatever you’re trying to do here, just stop. I’m begging you.” 

 

“I’m not trying to _do_ anything,” She lied. 

 

Barry shook his head, not believing her. “You don’t know the players involved. You don’t know what he’ll do.” 

 

Iris started for a minute, realizing something that probably should’ve been apparent earlier. “You’re scared of him.” 

 

He didn’t say anything in reference to that, instead replying, “Please, just stop digging.” 

 

She nodded. “Okay. I’ll stop.” 

 

And she definitely wasn’t going to do that. In fact, if anything this little exchange made her all the more determined, because now it was evident Barry was at risk. He was a victim. 

 

She’d always protect Barry Allen.

 

No matter the cost. 

 

**OOO**

 

She’s not sure what brings her here.

 

Okay, well that’s a lie. She knows what brings her here, she just can’t believe she actually came here. 

 

Another lie. 

 

Barry was what brought her here.

 

She’d do anything for him.

 

Still, as she sat down opposite her best friend’s father, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Barry didn’t know she’d come to visit Henry, and even though she knew it wasn’t likely he’d mind the two of them chatting, she wasn’t sure he’d appreciate the content. After all, he had warned her to drop it. 

 

Henry Allen’s megawatt smile was enough to help her overcome her hesitation. 

 

It was weird having a wall of thick, bullet-proof glass between them, but Henry didn’t seem phased and Iris took that as her cue not to be either. She’d initially been worried he’d have no idea who she was, but that was quickly dismissed when he said, “Iris, you’ve grown up!”

 

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him, only that she’d been very young, but he looked the same. “I have! It seems like you haven’t aged a bit, Mr. Allen.” 

 

He cracked another grin that made his eyes crinkle in a way that reminded her of Barry. “I follow a very strict skin care regimen, and please, call me Henry. My son tells me you’re a reporter now.” 

 

Iris was a bit surprised to know that Barry spent his visits with his dad discussing her. “He talks about me?” 

 

Henry gave her a knowing smile. “All the time. You’re just a beautiful as he described.” 

 

Iris flushed. “Now you’re just lying.” 

 

Some small part of her she was trying to ignore hoped he wasn’t. 

 

He nodded slowly but didn’t say anything. Straightening his spine, he fixed her with a more serious expression. “Now I don’t get many visitors, so I take it you had something you wanted to speak with me about.”

 

Iris sighed, not sure how, or if she even should, begin. “Yes, and I’m not really sure how to go about it. If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine, but I’m just going to go right ahead and say it.” She very obviously avoided eye contact as she quickly said, “I’d like you to tell me why Nora filed a restraining order against her brother Eobard.”

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Henry start. “How do you know about that?”

 

She’d been holding a phone to her ear to talk to him, and she began to play with the cord. “I have, well had, a source. He’s dead now, which I’m guessing isn’t a coincidence.”

 

“Iris, this isn’t something you want to go digging into.” The disapproval in his voice was evident, and he reminded her of her own father. 

 

“Everyone keeps saying that, but the thing is that I do and I’m going to. If you could help me that would be great.”

 

“Iris-“

 

She looked at him then, trying to make him understand. “Please, Henry. I’m worried about Barry. I want to help him. I know you do too.”

 

No matter the circumstances, no matter where he was, Henry Allen’s first priority was his son. Iris knew that. She counted on it. So she wasn’t particularly surprised when he started talking. “Eobard was never particularly close with any of his siblings, but he and Nora had a better relationship than he did with the others.”

 

There was a wistfulness to his tone as he continued. “I think she took pity on him more than anything. She’d always had much too big a heart. Towards the end of her life, he started coming around a lot more. She had no issues with it, in fact, I think she was happy to see him making an effort. He’d always been so smart, and he seemed to be a good influence on Barry, at least intellectually if nothing else.”

 

Henry leaned close then, and so Iris did too. It was stupid, because there conversation was more than likely being recorded, but it felt like this needed to be a secret between the two of them. “Then one night she comes into my office sobbing and tells me that we have to go. That Eobard is going to hurt Barry. I told her she was being silly, and I asked her what happened but she wouldn’t tell me. She just said something about experiments. A few days later, she filed the restraining order. I didn’t see him again until the court hearing after she died.”

 

Iris was so close to the glass separating them that she practically had her nose pressed against it. “How did he get custody?” 

 

Henry shrugged. “It was in her will apparently.” 

 

She couldn’t mask her confusion as she asked, “What?” 

 

“I don’t know, I’ve always had my doubts about that. No one else in the Thawne family was in a position to take Barry in, but given Eobard and Nora’s past, it seemed off.” Henry was shaking his head and she didn’t think he was really talking to her anymore. “There wasn’t anything I could do at that point given the circumstances. I advocated for your father to take him, and Joe was ready and willing, but it was out of my hands.”

 

Iris’ grip on the phone tightened. “So you don’t know why they had their falling out? Just that it may or may not have been about experiments?”

 

Henry backed off then, leaning against his chair. His movement broke the moment of intensity between the two of them. “All I know is that he’s taken care of Barry all these years, and I try not to rock the boat in any way that I can.” There was a warning in his voice as he said,  
“I don’t want him getting hurt, Iris.” 

 

“I don’t either, that’s why I’m doing this.” She needed him to understand that. Barry was her priority as well. 

 

“Just be careful who you trust. He’s got eyes and ears where you wouldn’t believe.” 

 

Iris smiled. “I’m good at keeping secrets.” 

 

Henry smiled back, but there was something different in his expression. “I bet you are.” Iris felt like there was a joke being told but she didn’t understand the punchline. 

 

She didn’t really mind though, because Henry looked so much like Barry with that dopey grin he was wearing. They were so similar in so many ways, but different in so many others. Henry seemed so unaffected by the circumstances he’d been dealt, and she longed for Barry to have some of that lightness. She couldn’t help but wonder what he would’ve been like had his father been around to raise him. 

 

Perhaps wanting to give Henry something after all he’d lost, perhaps just wanting him to know she’d do her best by his son, she said, “He’s my best friend, you know. I adore him.” 

 

He nodded slowly, his face taking on an appreciative gaze. “You two were close when you were younger. I’m happy you’ve rekindled that. He gets lost sometimes. I think having you around has helped him a great deal these past few months. He seems happier.”

 

Henry’s eyes were just a little too knowing for Iris’ liking. “He’s very happy with Patty.” It was a deflection tactic, and the words tasted bitter on their way out as much as they shouldn’t. 

 

His face was one of perfect confusion as he asked, “Who?”

 

“His girlfriend…” She tried to combat the small bit of smugness that rose up in her. Barry had clearly been talking about her in a way he hadn’t about Patty.

 

She wasn’t entirely convinced he knew who she was talking about when he hesitantly replied, “Oh right, Patty.” 

 

The two of them sat there in awkward silence as Iris attempted to gather her thoughts. “Right… well, I should probably go. 

 

He nodded. “Probably.”

 

Iris moved to put the phone away, not really sure how to wrap up the conversation, but quickly thought better of it. “Probably best if we don’t tell Barry about all this,” She tacked on hesitantly. 

 

“Probably.” 

 

“Maybe, um, maybe I could come back sometime. We could talk about things not revolving around crazy, potentially sociopathic, family.” 

 

Henry laughed. “I’d like that, Iris. You can come back anytime.”

 

She did come back. She came back the next week. She came back the week after too.

 

She didn’t say anything to Barry.

 

**OOO**

 

She sat on the roof of CC Jitters, her legs dangling over the side. Iris used to come up here all the time when she worked here in college. After she'd left to work at CCPN, she may or may not have made a key. She knew that it was technically breaking and entering, but she just couldn't help herself. The place had a certain allure to it. 

 

The company she had up here wasn't so bad either. 

 

The Flash sat a good distance away from her, his body mirroring her own in form if not length. Iris didn't miss the way their legs swung in tandem, whether he was aware or not. 

 

“So hypothetically…” She started. 

 

He chuckled, knowing where the conversation was going. “Hypothetically…”

 

Iris kept her gaze on the building of Central City, but her lips twisted with a smile. “If you and Superman raced, who would win?” 

 

“I would.” He answered without hesitation. 

 

Iris scoffed. “But he's Superman!”

 

“Iris, I'm the fastest man alive.” She could tell by his tone that he was rolling his eyes. 

 

Iris pulled one of her legs up and tucked it under herself. “I'm pretty sure if you give yourself that title it doesn't hold the same weight.”

 

“Name one person who’s faster than me.”

 

Iris turned to face him, cocking an eyebrow. “Superman,” she challenged. 

 

Flash laughed and waved a dismissive gloved hand at her. 

 

This had become somewhat of a regular thing, against Iris’ better judgement. He'd come to check on her following her attack, to apologize again, but also, she suspected, to make sure she wasn't going to say anything. After all, she was probably the only person that wasn't a criminal who knew STAR Labs was his home base. She'd assured him that she was fine and that he could trust her and that had been that. 

 

Both of them had tactfully glossed over the fact that he'd admitted to caring for her in some capacity. 

 

Still, he kept dropping in on her. It didn't take long for the roof to become their place, and they'd formed a habit of meeting up there a few nights a week after she got off work. She didn't know how he knew she was there, but whenever she went to the roof he'd inevitably show up. They talked about nothing in particular, and she sensed he enjoyed the respite. She had the feeling his life lacked levity, and maybe a part of her wanted to believe he enjoyed her company specifically because it was her company. 

 

Tonight though, was different. 

 

“I have a favor to ask,” Iris began, as much as she hated to burst their bubble. 

 

He answered her without pause. “Whatever you need.”

 

Iris twiddled her thumbs together absentmindedly and she really hadn’t expected it to be this hard. Not knowing where to begin, she asked, “Do you remember my friend Barry?”

 

Flash started and Iris was confused as to why he seemed surprised that Barry would be brought up. Maybe he hadn't been expecting that subject change. “Uh, the one who came to get you after your attack?”

 

Iris nodded. “Yes. My best friend.” She wasn't sure why she felt the need to add that, could be because she felt like she was betraying him. 

 

“S-sure, I remember him.” Flash was the appropriate amount of confused and intrigued and Iris hoped he wouldn't become disapproving. 

 

“My favor involves him.” With a sigh, she began. “His mother was murdered a long time ago and his father went to jail for the crime even though he's innocent.”

 

“You're sure he's innocent?” The Flash interrupted and his voice held no malice, only fervent curiosity. 

 

Iris’ voice held deadly conviction as she replied, “I would stake my life on it. In fact, I think his mother was killed by Reverse Flash.”

 

He let out a disbelieving, humorless laugh. “What?”

 

And if he was going to think her ridiculous, she might as well nail her coffin shut. “And I think his uncle, Eobard Thawne, is Reverse Flash.”

 

It sounded so damn stupid. She should probably be institutionalized because she sounded like an absolute lunatic. 

 

The thing was though, The Flash wasn't looking at her the way you'd look at someone you thought was crazy. He was looking at her the way you'd look at someone you were furious with. 

 

“This isn't a joke, Iris. The Reverse Flash tried to kill you.” His voice was carefully measured, as though he was trying very hard to control his tone. 

 

They were both still facing towards the city, so Iris swung around so that she was facing him instead. “I'm well aware, I have to look at the scar everyday.” Flash flinched, but she pressed on. “I wouldn't be telling you this if I wasn't sure.” 

 

He was clearly fed up with her antics, because his next words were a yell. “Why are you telling me this at all? Why is this something you're looking into?” 

 

Iris raised her volume to match his own, but her words weren't angry. “Because I got stabbed! Because this involves me! Because the second I thought that maybe this involves Barry too there was no other option for me!” Flash opened his might to interrupt, but Iris was on a roll now. “And you know what? At the very least, this involves you. This involves you and taking this guy down isimportant to you and that means it’s important to me!” 

 

The Flash threw his hands up. “Why?”

 

“Because I care about you too, alright? I care about you.”

 

That shut him up. 

 

Iris would've been smug except she was currently experiencing a lot of feelings she really didn't want to nor had the time for. She turned her gaze back out towards the city as she asked, “I've put together a file. Would you please just look into it for me?”

 

There was a beat and he sounded conflicted, but he said “Okay,” anyway. 

 

Then, with a crackle of lightning, he was gone. 

 

**OOO**

 

Iris wished she could sleep. 

 

When she was in college, she used to find the fact that she was an insomniac a good thing. Sleep was just too cumbersome. She had too much to do, too many things to see, too many people to meet. Even as she grew older, she found that her ability to run on little sleep was beneficial when it came to her work. She had more hours in the day than other people and so she was that much closer to conquering the world. 

 

Now she was so desperate to sleep she was about two seconds from slamming her head against the table if it meant she could knock out for a few moments. 

 

Sleep was even more of a luxury now, considering she could only get it when Barry was around. The nightmares were far less intense and had become far more infrequent but nevertheless she still needed him. He'd become like her nightlight, like an old blanket you just couldn't part with. It didn't feel right without him. 

 

Iris found herself wishing he was here right now, because she really wanted to sleep. She sensed that that had less to do with exhaustion and more to do with the conversation that was being had around her. 

 

“Our time is now,” Eddie said, interrupting her thoughts. “We have enough information to put him away.”

 

Joe West shook his head. “Having information has always only been half the battle. We don't know how to catch him.” 

 

Eddie scoffed. “Well then we find a weakness and we exploit that in order to bring him in.”

 

“He's still a person, Eddie. There's still rules to be followed.” Joe shot back and Iris had to fight a smile. Her dad had been softer on The Flash since he'd saved her life. 

 

Her boyfriend, on the other hand, did not share he same warm sentiment. “You've got to be kidding, Joe. He's public enemy number one! Iris has done her job, it's time to end him!” 

 

Captain Singh held his hands up. “Let’s all just calm down. We can't jump the gun with this, it's the biggest case we've had in years. We aren't ready to make any moves yet. Iris has been doing a wonderful job, but there's still work to be done.” 

 

And she knew it wasn't a good time, but she'd been holding back for so long and the words came bubbling up. “I think he's innocent.” 

 

You could've heard a pin drop. 

 

Realizing that maybe she’d jumped the gun with that one, she quickly went to try and reverse some of the damage. “Not that he's innocent, but that he's being exploited.” 

 

The three men in the room exchanged an unsure look. Naturally, it was Eddie who broke the looming silence, and he wasn’t too pleased. 

 

“He seems more than willing to participate in all the crimes he has committed.” 

 

Iris flinched at the slightly patronizing bent his tone was taking. “I’m just saying I think that there’s more going on here. I think this goes deeper.” 

 

Perhaps sensing that Eddie was about to lose his cool, Singh cut in. “If you're not comfortable, Iris, we can pull you out. Feelings can't be involved.”

 

Iris shook her head. That was the last thing she wanted. “He trusts me and I’m so close, I can feel it. We can’t risk losing all the progress we’ve made.” It was a half-truth. She did think she was close to figuring out what was going on, but she could give a damn about the progress CCPD was making. 

 

Singh nodded, “Alright well, regardless, lets speed this up a little bit. The longer we linger here, the more we risk your cover being blown. Get the story and get out, West.” 

 

Iris did a little two finger salute as she stood to make her exit. “Copy that, Captain.” Iris turned to her boyfriend. “You coming?”  


Eddie didn’t meet her eyes as he replied, “I actually have some work to do here. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

 

Part of her felt bad, she really did. She knew Eddie was simply trying to keep her and the city safe, and that he genuinely thought that The Flash was a dangerous criminal. Iris could totally see where he was coming from. She was, however, simply way too exhausted to care. 

 

Turning to her father, she smiled. “Walk me out, Dad?” 

 

Joe stood quickly and without hesitation, most likely reading her the way only he could. He didn’t say anything as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked her out of the precinct. It wasn’t until they were in the night air that he finally spoke, and the subject he chose caught her off guard. “I invited Barry to family dinner on Sunday.” 

 

Iris stopped walking. “What?” 

 

Joe looked slightly sheepish as he looked at her. “Yeah well we’ve been looking into his mom’s case a little bit, and, I don’t know, I feel bad for the kid. He doesn’t have a family and I feel like I should’ve been there more for him when he was younger. Plus he never shuts up about you, so I figured he wouldn’t be averse to the idea. It’ll also give him a chance to meet Wally, and I want your brother to make some friends who aren’t criminals.” 

 

Iris cocked an eyebrow. “Barry and Wally have literally nothing in common.” 

 

“They both like science.” 

 

Iris’ eyebrow moved farther up. “Pretty sure forensics and engineering are about as different as you can get.” 

 

Joe held up his hands. “Leave me alone! Look, you’re in charge of bringing the mac and cheese.” 

 

“Alright, I’ll be there,” Iris laughed as she moved in to hug her dad. “I love you, Dad. I’ll call you when I get home.” 

 

Her father kissed the top of her head, and muttered a “Yup” before he turned and headed back inside the building. 

 

Iris’ apartment wasn’t too far from the precinct, which was both nice because it allowed for a short walk home and annoying because it allowed her dad to stop by her place all the time. She’d made the walk hundreds of thousands of times before, and never once run into any sort of trouble. 

  
Trust tonight to be the exception to the rule. 

 

He was there and then he wasn’t, materializing out of the night air. She wasn’t totally unfamiliar with the sight in front of her; the vibrating body, the lightning scent that still floated around him. Still, there was one difference to him, one horrible, distinguishing difference. 

 

Where she was so used to seeing that bright, almost familiar, red color there was only yellow. 

 

The Man in Yellow. 

 

Reverse Flash. 

 

She felt like she was frozen, but she suspected it wouldn’t much matter if she could move given how fast she knew he was. Plus, she’d worn heels today, so she wasn’t likely to be fast on her feet anyway. 

 

Reverse Flash, face blurred, raised a vibrating hand high above his head. “I’d say nothing personal,” he said, and even with a distorted voice Iris could tell he was laughing. “But we both know it very much is.” 

 

Iris could only guess what a hand going that quickly would feel like as it passed through her body. It was probably just adrenaline, but time seemed to slow then as his hand approached her collarbone. 

 

Then, as quick as he’d appeared in front of her, he was gone. Iris couldn’t figure out what had caused the change of heart until she saw a streak of yellow lightning chasing after Reverse’s red. 

 

The Flash. 

 

She didn’t wait there to figure out if she was right, she didn’t question a second chance when she got one. 

 

Iris West ran. 

 

Apparently all those days at the gym had actually paid off because damn did she book it back to her building. She could only imagine how freaked out her doorman must’ve been as she sprinted through the lobby without her usual “hello”. The entire time she stood in the elevator she paced back and forth, unable to stand in one spot. By the time she got to Barry’s front door (and she hadn’t even thought twice about going to his place, had she?) she was certain she’d break the key in the lock as she jammed it in. With one final shove she pushed through, and allowed the door to slam shut behind her. 

 

There was only a beat of silence before a voice rang out. “Iris!” 

 

She wasn’t surprised to find him here; he had the day off and he was usually waiting for her when she got home. What she was surprised to discover was how distressed he sounded. 

 

He stumbled out of the bedroom, eyes wild and hair disheveled. He was panting and she could not imagine why. 

 

They both stared at each other for a long time, only sound between them being their heavy breathing. 

 

“Reverse Flash almost killed me,” Iris said, breaking the silence. Then, realizing she could feel the carpet under her feet, she looked down. “I’m not wearing shoes,” she breathed, realization hitting her only when she said the words. 

 

Barry was there suddenly, moving quickly as he wrapped his too-long arms around her. It took her a minute to realize that he was shaking violently as she placed her hands on his back. The situation struck her as somewhat odd, that she would be comforting him, but he was so upset he was almost vibrating under her fingertips. 

 

They stood there like that for a while as he worked to control his breathing and she worked to organize herself. It was nice having him hold her like that, far nicer than it should be, but something was bothering her, nagging at her scrambled brain.

 

He pulled back before she could figure out what, and it startled her when she saw that he was crying. “I could’ve lost you. I almost _lost you.”_

 

Iris shook her head, wanting to deny the truth of the statement to him as well as herself. “You didn’t lose me. I’m right here, I’m safe.”

 

Barry was breathing heavily, drawing in shaky breaths as he tried to calm down as best he could. His hand moved to her face and it took her a minute to realize he was wiping away her tears and she was crying too. “I can’t lose you,” He said like it was simply fact. Like there was no other option. 

 

Iris’ hands moved to his face as she mirrored his actions. She willed him to look into her eyes, so startlingly green, and how had she not realized before? “You’re not going to lose me, do you hear me?” 

 

He seemed to cling to her words, nodding vehemently. Barry looked so small, so scared in that moment, and she wanted nothing more than to shield him from the dangers of this world that had taken so much. He wrapped his arms around her again and buried his face in the crook of her neck even though it had to hurt, bending down like that. His tears warmed her skin as he croaked, “You can’t leave me.” 

 

It was not a lie as she squeezed him a little tighter and replied, “Never.” Not just because it was what he needed to hear, but because it was true. 

 

She didn’t ask him why he had been so upset, like he already knew what had happened to her, the same way he never offered her an explanation. 

 

When her shoes appeared by the front door the next morning, neither one of them said anything. 

 

They both knew. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of struggled with deciding where I wanted to take this. Some of you might not be happy with the direction I went in. Some of you are going to think I'm going off the rails. I always struggled with how the show handled Iris finding out Barry was The Flash. I wanted to play around with it. Create more stakes. I hope you like it. Bigger the risk, bigger the reward. 
> 
> Also I had way too much fun with the West Family dinner scene. Poor Barry just can't live. 
> 
> Reviews make my world go round. Thanks for the continued support. Come visit me on tumblr: iriswestaf.tumblr.com

Knowing on a subconscious level was a very different thing than actually seeing it right in front of you.

 

Because when she knew on a subconscious level, she could ignore it. She could act like the truth hadn’t been obvious from the beginning. She could pretend it wasn’t real. 

 

Seeing it made that a little bit harder.

 

Iris should probably back track a little bit. 

 

It had been a pretty boring, stereotypical day. She’d been working on a piece about an outbreak of food poisoning at Iron Heights and arguing with her editor over the bias in her piece. (He said she couldn’t have a stance, she said there was no way not to). Iris was actually on her way to meet Eddie for coffeewhen it happened. 

 

The ground beneath her began to rumble, so much so that she was briefly knocked off her feet. She heard the sound of an explosion and looked over to see a blueish smoke rising from three blocks over. Naturally because Iris seemed to have a death-wish, she instantly took off towards the accident, already writing the story in her head. She was almost there, almost at the scene where she could see the flashing lights of police cars already reaching the building. 

 

Iris was moving so fast that she almost missed him, but then could she ever really miss him? 

 

He was lying in an alley, plainly visible for anyone who looked to see. His suit was torn and he had a deep gash in his right leg that was bleeding pretty heavily. He looked like he’d been through hell and back, but he was breathing steadily so he was alive. Clearly unconscious given the fact that he was just hanging out, but alive. 

 

The Flash. 

 

His cowl was down too, did she mention that? 

 

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to throw up. She wanted to be anywhere but there. She wanted to go back to a time when she hadn’t known that Barry Allen was The Flash. 

 

But then hadn’t she always? 

 

It seemed so obvious now that she was literally staring it in the face. They were the same height and the same build and they spoke in the same way, vibrating vocal cords be damned. It explained so much too; how he was always there when she needed him, how he always knew where to find her, how he always knew things that he really shouldn’t have known.

 

And yet none of it fit. There was no way that Barry, her sweet, adorable, dork of a best friend, could also do such horrible things. How he could be the most dangerous criminal Central City had ever seen.

 

Except didn’t it though?

 

Didn’t it make perfect sense that a child who believed that the system had failed his parents might be susceptible to the wrong influences? That he would take a dark path? That he would seek retribution against those he perceived as havingwronged him and his family?

 

But he was still Barry and so he only took from those who could afford to give, and he never, _ever_ hurt anyone. He was still Barry so he ran into a burning building to save her, and then ran back over and over again to save everyone else. He was still Barry so he was still a hero. He was still a good person.

 

It was confirmation of everything she’d been saying about The Flash, but she didn't really want to accept the truth that came along with it.

 

Barry Allen was The Flash.

 

She moved quickly then.

 

Iris wasn’t sure how she felt about the revelation that had just been placed in front of her, but she also knew that he was Barry and so she had to protect him. The first thing she did was put his mask back on because God forbid someone else see them and also, she really didn't want to look at his face right now. The second thing she did was attempt to stop the blood from pouring out of his leg. She quickly removed her scarf and tied it around his leg above the wound like she’d seen done on _Grey’s Anatomy._ The leg was definitely broken but he’d told her once as The Flash that he had accelerated healing so she hoped he wasn't about to just die right in front of her. The third thing she did was call Cisco.

 

He didn’t pick up.

 

She tried again to the same result. 

 

So the fourth thing she did was cover him up with a few trash bags as she ran to get her car from where it was parked a few blocks away. She half expected that by the time she returned he would be gone, but sure enough when she got back he was still lying there underneath the garbage. It took her a solid fifteen minutes to drag his ass to her car because even though he was built like a string bean he was still almost half her height and dead weight was dead weight. 

 

She threw him in the back seat, and floored it to STAR labs, all the while whispering “Please don’t die” like it was a mantra. 

 

The look on Cisco and Caitlin’s faces when she came through the door dragging Barry and yelling “Pick up your damn phone next time!” was almost comical.

 

Caitlin got to work immediately, running every test and scan possible. She concluded that Flash had suffered a major brain bleed and that’s why he was unconscious. That if he didn’t heal the way he did he’d be dead. That he would be waking up in a few hours. She then complimented Iris on her makeshift tourniquet which garnered a small smile.

 

Cisco then explained that a routine robbery had gone bad and that two of the usual metas who helped them out turned on Flash and Snart in the middle of it. They still had no idea where Snart was. They had been trying to find Flash when Iris called and that’s why Cisco had ignored her. The glare Iris gave him when he said that was enough to have him hurling apologies at her. 

 

She didn’t miss the fact that both of them didn’t call Flash by his name. They didn’t call him Barry. They both also kept shooting her wary looks as though at any second she’d run off to rat him out. She wondered if she’d do that too. 

 

Instead she sat by his bedside and held his hand as his wounds healed themselves. 

 

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there for, long enough that his leg had closed completely, but it wasn’t until Cisco entered that she realized she should probably figure out what she was going to do. 

 

“He wanted to tell you,” he said, words surprising her. She didn’t say anything, so he pressed on. “He’s wanted to tell you for a long time. He just didn’t know how. He thought… He thought you’d hate him.”

 

Iris turned to face him then, still holding Barry’s hand. “I could never hate him. He’s my best friend.” 

 

Cisco looked like he wanted to say something at that, but he let it drop. “Are you going to tell anyone?” 

 

Iris looked back at Barry then, so small in the bed. This was what they’d been waiting for. This was the break in the case. She’d done it. She’d gotten The Flash to trust her. 

 

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” she whispered. It was not a lie. “And you’re not going to tell him.” 

 

Cisco started. “What?”

 

She sighed and moved her hand up to move a stray piece of Barry’s hair out of his face. “You’re not going to tell him I know he’s The Flash. This isn’t how he should have to tell me, it should be on his own terms. He should trust me enough to do it on his own.”

 

Cisco moved toward her as she stood. “Iris, it’s not that he doesn’t trust you! He was scar-“

 

She cut him off with a raise of her hand. “Whatever the reason, he should tell me. I want him to tell me.” 

 

He looked unsure. “So you’re not mad?”

 

She was mad, she was definitely mad. He’d lied to her, right to her face, but then hadn’t she lied too? “I am mad. I’m mad at him, and I’m mad at me, and I’m mad at you,” she added as she poked Cisco in the shoulder with a sad smile. “But Barry is…” she paused, searching for the words. “Barry is my heart. So I have to protect him. And I’m going to need your help.” 

 

Cisco’s answering grin was brilliant. “I’m all ears.”

 

But Iris’ expression was somber. She wasn’t sure if he’d hate her after all this, and she actually found she enjoyed him quite a bit.

 

“Can you leave for a few hours? There’s something I need to show you.” 

 

Cisco nodded. “Caitlin! You’re in charge for a bit, I’m going on a field trip.” 

 

Caitlin popped her head out from the hallway. “I’m always in charge.” 

 

Iris laughed and found that the sound hurt her. She didn't want to lose any of them. 

 

So with a final glance at Barry, she and Cisco left the building and Iris West began to plot. 

 

**OOO**

 

She hadn’t seen Barry Allen since she found out he was The Flash. 

 

In all honesty they really had just not run into each other all that often, and it had only been a few days. She did, however, spend a few nights over at her dad’s place under the guise of wanting to spend “quality time” together. He didn’t buy it for a second, but he also didn’t question her either. She could’ve gone over to Eddie’s, but seeing him reminded her that he wanted to throw The Flash, Barry, in prison and that really wasn’t sitting well. Barry had asked once if he could come see her at her dad’s place, but she told him she was too tired and he hadn’t asked again. Initially she thought maybe he was mad at her, but a quick glance at the news showed that The Flash had been busy robbing people, so maybe he had his hands full. 

 

She could not for the life of her figure out why he was still doing that. 

 

She couldn’t really ask either. 

 

She had struggled with her anger. How misplaced it felt. After all, her relationship with the Flash had not began with pure intentions, and it wasn’t supposed to end with them either. Her relationship with Barry, on the other hand, was nothing but pure. It was the purest thing in her life. And now it was all tainted with lies and metas and crime and she was a little miffed at him. 

 

It was all so annoyingly in character too. 

 

She’d talked about it with Cisco for a _long_ time. Barry’s motivations, at least when it came to her. Cisco had been a little bit cagey about the whole thing, which made sense because Barry was his best friend and he didn’t want to completely throw him under the bus. Still, Cisco told Iris that, from almost the very beginning, Barry’s only goal was to keep her safe. To protect her from anyone that might want to use her against him. And that, and she sensed this was the real reason he didn’t tell her, he didn’t want to disappoint her. 

 

“Caitlin and I were recruited to help The Flash. We went into the business with him. We were well aware of what he was, and so the man on the other side of the mask was a non-factor. We’re friends now, but we weren’t then; we were colleagues brought together by convenience. You’re the first and only person that has known Barry and The Flash as two separate people. I think he’s scared you won’t be able to reconcile that,” Cisco had told her. 

 

So it was easy for her to understand, but she was still working on being able to accept. 

 

But her days of avoidance were about to come to a screeching halt, because Barry Allen was coming to dinner. 

 

She’d tried to cancel on her dad, but he’d made it apparent that there was no way in hell she was getting out of this obligation. Besides, it would be nice to see Wally. 

 

Some small part of her knew that Wally was definitely not the reason she bought a new dress just for dinner. It was silly really, Barry had seen her in sweatpants and an old cheer shirt. Still, something about this felt different. Something about this felt new. 

 

Judging by the reaction she got when she opened the front door to face him, he felt that way too even if he didn’t know why. 

 

“I made brownies,” he spluttered before she could even get it open all the way. “I think I burned them, I don’t know. I brought wine too. I know you like white, but I wasn’t sure if your dad liked red so I brought both.” There was a beat as he seemed to take in her appearance. He swallowed visibly. “You look, uh, you look really beautiful, Iris.” 

 

There was no way the bumbling idiot on her porch was the same man who could stare down guns and stay so infuriatingly cool. The duality had her smiling. “Breathe, Barry.” 

 

He smiled back but didn’t breathe. Iris stepped aside to allow him passage into the house. Her grin grew as he looked around the foyer with thinly veiled excitement. “You grew up here?” He asked. She didn’t get a chance to answer because he’d spotted a photo in the living room of her at age six on her way to her first day of kindergarten. “Oh my god, Iris! Is this you? 

 

“Sure is,” her father answered for her as he poked his head out of the kitchen. He was holding a pair of metal tongs and wearing an apron that said “Kiss the Chef”. “She worked so many lemonade stands so she could buy a ‘My Little Pony’ backpack. Baby girl knew how to hustle.” 

 

Barry laughed. “She still does.” Then, moving towards Iris’ father, he said, “Thanks for inviting me, Detective West. I brought alcohol.” Barry held up the two bottles he was carrying, brownies presumably in the bag on his shoulder. 

 

“Call me Joe, Barry.” Her father replied and Iris had to bite her lip to keep from commenting on how it had taken months before he’d let Eddie could call him Joe. Instead she moved to take the wine out of Barry’s hands and put it in the kitchen. From over her shoulder, she heard her dad make a comment about how “there was no way CCPD was paying him enough to afford that bottle of red.” 

 

He was right in a way.

 

CCPD wasn’t paying. 

 

This was going to be harder than she thought. 

 

It was. 

 

Meal-prep went smoothly enough. She sat back and watched as Barry and Joe swapped stories about their cases and told her about all the ones they’d worked on together. Joe had then taken to telling stories about his friendship with Henry, being careful not to linger too long on any mention of Nora. Barry didn’t seem to mind though, in fact, it appeared as though he was delighting in hearing about his parent’s lives before they’d been so tainted by darkness. Wally had shown up eventually, late per usual. She could tell her dad was a bit peeved, but she was happy he’d shown at all given how distant he’d been lately. Still, seeing her baby brother was always a treat, and they’d quickly fallen back into their usual banter, which seemed to amuse Barry and her dad. 

 

It wasn’t until it came time to eat that shit hit the fan. 

 

Wally, perhaps wanting to screw with her a bit, started off by asking about Eddie. “How’s Mayonnaise doing?”

 

Iris didn’t look at him, instead concentrating on her greens. She did quirk an eyebrow as she shot back, “Don’t start, Wallace.” 

 

Joe, who was seated next to Barry on the side opposite Wally and Iris, turned to whisper not-so-quietly in his ear. “Mayonnaise is what Wally calls Eddie.” Then, raising his voice a little too loudly, he said, “You said you’d stop calling him that Wally.” 

 

Iris wasn’t even looking at him, but she could feel the smugness radiating off her brother. “You told me you thought that name was funny at the basketball game we went to.” 

 

“I don’t remember saying that,” Joe said, and he was such a bad liar.

 

“Oh, you said it. Right before you said you didn’t like him very much.” 

 

Iris grabbed the salt and began pouring it on the potatoes her dad had made, knowing he’d be insulted that she chose to add salt to his perfectly seasoned potatoes. “Can you just not?” 

 

Wally laughed. “All I did was ask how he was.” 

 

Finally turning to face him, she slammed the salt down. “I don’t know, Wally! How’s your parole officer?” 

 

But her brother was getting way too much amusement out of watching her squirm. “Geez, someone is a little bit testy, isn’t she?” Looking over at Barry, who appeared as though he wanted to hide under the table, Wally asked, “What do you think of Iris’ boyfriend?” 

 

Her best friend turned a brilliant shade of scarlet (ironic). “Me? I mean, uh, I, uh, don’t know. He’s, um, Eddie is, well you know he’s Eddie, and so, he, uh, fine.” 

 

Trust Barry to just make all her anger evaporate. She even let out a small laugh as she turned to Wally and answered truthfully. “Eddie has been pissing me off lately, if you must know.” 

 

Wally quirked an eyebrow. “Trouble in paradise?” 

 

And maybe because she wanted to watch Barry squirm just a little bit more, she replied, “He’s got this vendetta against The Flash.” 

 

Joe sighed. 

 

Barry made some sort of squeaking noise. 

 

Wally immediately looked ten times more invested in the conversation. “Why?” 

 

Iris shrugged. “He’s a criminal.” She could tell Barry was doing his best to appear as though he wasn’t hanging on to her every word, and God was he failing miserably. In her continued quest to play with fire, Iris tacked on “Plus, I’ve been hanging around him.”

 

The disbelief in Wally’s voice was almost insulting. “You know The Flash? No fucking way.”

 

Iris turned towards him, slightly affronted. “Yeah, I’ve had a few run-ins with him. If you returned any of my phone calls you’d know that.” 

 

Wally ignored the dig she took at him, settling back into his chair. “Why would Flash want to hang with you? You’re lame.” 

 

“I am not lame!” Iris shouted and it was exactly the kind of thing someone lame would say. Struggling to appear blasé, Iris said, “I’m cool, okay? I’m cool.” She made some sort of weird snorting noise and was definitely not appearing cool. 

 

Her brother rolled his eyes. “Whatever, he’s probably just trying to tap tha-“

 

And apparently that comment was what sent Joe West over the edge. “That’s enough! I swear you two are going to be the death of me.” 

 

Iris chanced a look over at Barry, who looked to be on the verge of having a stroke. “Sorry dad,” she muttered as she attempted to suppress a laugh. 

 

But apparently Wally wasn’t done with the conversation. “Flash is dope. Makes sense Eddie would hate him.” 

 

“Flash is not _dope._ Flash is a dangerous man with an extensive criminal record.” And oh Barry was in for one hell of a night, because Joe looked at him and asked, “What do you think, Barry?” 

  
Suddenly Iris remembered that her dad invited Barry here tonight in the hope that Wally would make some friends who were not headed for jail. She literally had to bite her lip to keep from giggling. This whole situation was so ridiculous. 

 

Barry’s back went ramrod straight and he looked like he wanted to puke. “Me? Oh, um, I mean… yeah Flash is, he’s, uh, bad?” The word came out more of a question than an answer. 

 

Taking pity on him, Iris chimed in. “He did save my life.” 

 

Joe sighed and Barry smiled. “I know, believe me. I’m in his debt for that,” her dad said. 

 

“You’re _really_ in his debt considering he saved my life four times,” Iris replied, not even processing the colossal mistake she’d made until her dad spoke again.

 

“What?” he asked, eyebrows knitting in confusion. “I thought it was twice.”

 

And fuck her because she really shouldn’t have said that. “It was twice,” she tried. 

 

His voice came out two octaves lower as he warned,“Iris.” 

 

Her own voice was about two octaves higher as she rushed out the words. “The fire and then the stabbing.”

 

“You were stabbed?” Wally asked as he chewed his steak, sounding intrigued but not at all concerned. 

 

She attempted to deflect. “Barry made brownies! Who wants brownies?” Her voice was entirely too chipper as she moved to stand. 

 

Joe’s patience had reached a breaking point. “Iris.” 

 

She had half a mind to tell Barry she knew he was The Flash and have him run her out of there. Still trying to avoid the conversation entirely, she said, “Barry come help me get the brownies!”

 

Barry, bless his sweet soul, stood instantly. He looked very conflicted, and admittedly slightly amused, but she knew he’d do whatever she told him. 

 

Unless, of course, Joe West told him to do something else. 

 

“Barry, sit down.” He nodded in satisfaction when Barry obeyed with an apologetic glance at his daughter. “Iris,” he tried again. 

 

She sighed and muttered, “And then the bank robbery…”

 

“Bank robbery?” Joe exclaimed. 

 

“And Reverse Flash a few days ago.” Her voice was barely a whisper and she avoided eye contact at all cost as she slinked back into her seat. 

 

Joe apparently had the hearing of a bat, because he was soon shouting. “This is what I’m talking about! This is why I didn’t want you near this!”

 

Fear was what charged her up once again. Fear that he was somehow going to accidentally mention that they were building a case against The Flash in front of The Flash. “Dad, let it drop.” 

 

Joe West was on track though and he wasn’t about to pump the brakes just yet. “I’m not just going to let it drop, Iris! You’re constantly putting your life in danger, and-“

 

And then because this dinner hadn’t been full of enough curveballs, Barry chimed in. “He wouldn’t let anything happen to her.” His face after his statement made it seem as though he hadn’t thought the words through, had just said them like they were a fact. 

 

Iris started when she realized that they probably were to him. 

  
Joe was clearly confused by Barry’s contribution to the argument. “What?”

 

Barry seemed to be as well. “I, um, I’m just saying that Flash has gone through such great lengths to protect her that I, um, he, won’t let anything happen to her.” His face was nearly the same color as Flash’s suit. 

 

Joe sighed, clearly annoyed that Allen wasn’t on his side. “But if she hadn’t been hanging around The Flash she wouldn't be in these situations in the first place.” 

 

“That’s not true; the fire and the bank robbery would’ve happened had I not known him, and because I did I’m still alive.” Iris jumped in then with a self-satisfied smirk. 

 

Joe turned back to his steak, seemingly placated for the moment. “I just don’t know why you’re so insistent on hanging around him.”

 

And then Wally had to go open his big fat mouth. “Because she has a crush on him.” 

 

Iris caught a glimpse of Barry’s facial expression and yeah he was definitely about to have a stroke. It was then her turn to blush as she emphatically stated that “I do not have a crush on The Flash.” 

 

Her brother rolled his eyes. “Oh please, you always loved a good charity case.” 

 

“He’s not a charity case.” His words were only serving to make her angrier.

 

“Really?” He goaded.   


 

“ Really.” She fired back. 

 

“He’s a criminal,” Joe contributed helpfully.

 

It was at that moment that Iris West reached her breaking point. 

 

She slammed her hand down on the table a bit melodramatically as she went off. “Yeah he is! So? You keep saying that like it means something. CCPD doesn’t know anything about him. You don’t know who he is, or where he came from, or if he has family or friends.” Her dad’s expression was kind of funny as he glanced over at Barry and Wally to check if they were witnessing this too. She pushed on. “It’s so easy for you to make a snap judgement about someone when you don’t know anything about them. Maybe he was alone, maybe he was scared, maybe he didn’t think he had any other options.” She tried not to hit the nail on the head too much because she wasn’t supposed to know that the man in question was sitting across from her. She wasn’t supposed to know as much as she did about him. She wasn’t supposed to know anything about him. With that thought in mind, she chose a different track. “That could’ve been me, it almost was after Mom died.” She stuck a pointer finger at the person sitting next to her and heard a sigh of indignation. “It was Wally for a little bit.” Iris looked as her brother then. “I mean, you started working underground to pay for Mom’s medical bills and then you didn’t stop because it was all you knew. I would hope that if you were in the same situation as The Flash, people wouldn’t just decide they knew you.” 

 

She knew her poor father could not figure out why she was getting so worked up. His voice came out in stark contrast to what it had been early as he attempted to soothe her. “Iris…” 

 

But she was on a roll and she wasn’t about to be stopped. “He goes out of his way to make sure that people don’t get hurt at the scene of his crimes. He went out of his way to save my life.” She just couldn’t help herself then; her eyes drifted to Barry. He was watching her with such rapt attention she wasn’t unsure that the heat of his gaze would set her on fire. “He didn’t have to do that. He doesn’t have to do any of that, but he does. He’s a good person.” She managed to move her focus back to Joe. “And, no offense Dad, but I know a hell of a lot more than CCPD does at this point, so I’ll trust my judgement over yours.” 

 

There was a long, measurable silence in the moments that followed her outburst. Joe looked put out. Barry looked taken aback. Iris looked cocky as shit. 

 

Wally broke the silence. 

 

“You sound like one of those weird chicks who falls in love with a serial killer.” Then, after Iris reached over and punched him in the arm, “Ow!” 

 

She decided that maybe that was enough ranting for one dinner, and she was hoping Barry would stop looking at her so intensely, so she asked, “Speaking of weird chicks, how’s that girl you were dating?” 

 

That piqued Joe’s interest. “You were dating someone?”

 

“We were hanging out, but I broke it off. She was too needy and she got in the way of my racing.” Wally answered, sounding bored. 

 

“I still don’t like that you’re doing that,” Joe said as he took a sip of wine. 

 

Wally shrugged. “Hey, my designs on my car were what got me into CC Polytech, so lay off.”

 

Barry seemed to find his tongue again. “Your dad mentioned you were into engineering, Wally.” 

 

The youngest West instantly looked suspicious. “I might be, Allen, but I thought your specialty was forensic science.” 

  
“It is, but I was in robotics club in high school.” Realizing that that wasn’t impressing anyone at the table, Barry tacked on “Plus, I have a friend who’s a mechanical engineer. Total geek, but I’m sure he’d love to talk to you about it sometime if that’s something you’d be game for.” 

 

Iris could tell that Wally was doing his best to seem disinterested, but engineering was his thing and Barry had tapped right into that. “Yeah, yeah sure that’d be cool,” Wally replied with the smallest of smiles. She realized belatedly that Barry must’ve been talking about Cisco, and she had to hide a grin as she thought of that trio. 

 

The rest of the meal went without incident. Barry and Wally talked science a bit more, Iris talked about work, and Joe talked about the past (much to the West siblings’ chagrin and Barry’s fascination). 

 

Speaking of her best friend, she was amazed how seamlessly he found a place in the family dynamic. It felt like there had always been a seat at the table for him. He seemed happy to be there too, like there was nowhere else he’d rather be. It was so easy with him. She didn’t even have to think. 

 

For one brief, fleeting moment she wondered what it would be like to date Barry Allen. 

 

She banished that thought as quickly as it had come. 

 

After dinner, Barry had asked if she wanted to ride back with him to her apartment and she happily agreed. Now that she could finally be around him without worrying it would be terribly awkward, she was eager to return to their routine. She’d missed him far more than she probably should have in the past few days. 

 

They spent the first part of the drive making idle chit-chat until Barry said, “Make sure you thank your dad again for me.”

 

Iris smiled. “He was happy to have you there.” 

 

“I was happy to be there. I’m not used to…” He cut himself off then, hand flexing around the steering wheel. Before Iris could say anything else, he cracked a smile. “Your family is awesome.” 

 

She laughed. “They’re horribly dysfunctional.” 

 

He laughed too, but his tone was serious. “No, seriously though. It’s nice that you have that. It’s nice that you have people who love you like that.” 

 

“You have people who love you like that,” she replied without thinking twice. 

 

Barry nodded but didn’t seem to take in the words. “Wally is a good kid, although I don’t think he likes me very much.” 

 

Iris shook her head. “Oh no, that was him liking you, believe me. You should see his interactions with Eddie.” She groaned just thinking about the two of them in the same room. 

 

“Bad?”

 

“Train wreck.” There was a beat and then she kept going. “Thanks for that, by the way. Offering up that engineering thing with Wally. He’s been kind of lost lately, and my dad is struggling to connect with him and he won’t talk to me. It just means a lot.” She was babbling a little bit in the way that she sometimes tended to do, but she knew Barry never minded. 

 

“Of course, Iris. Anything for you.” He said the words without thinking, she could tell. Then the grin he’d been wearing turned to a grimace. “I know a thing or two about being lost.” 

 

Iris, who had been watching him out of the corner of her eye, turned to really look at him. She could only make out his side profile, occasionally illuminated by a passing car or streetlamp. He was so young, but he looked so sad. So alone. She didn’t want him to be either of those things, she wanted him to know he didn’t have to be. 

 

She wanted him to tell her the truth. 

 

So, she tried, “You know if you ever wanted to talk about anything, like _anything,_ you know you can, right?” 

 

He gave her a half-smile. “I know, Iris.”

 

And this next part was important, she needed him to hear her. “That if you ever get lost, I’ll always find you.” 

 

Barry took his eyes off the road, just for a second. He gave her a look that made her think that if she told him to jump off a cliff he’d do it. 

 

“I’m counting on it.”

**OOO**

 

“I got you something,” he said, voice interrupting her train of thought. 

 

She’d been waiting for him, for The Flash, on the rooftop of Jitters. She hadn’t seen him since she’d learned he was Barry, and admittedly she was terrified. What if seeing him like this made her look at him differently? What if he could tell that she’d figured out his secret?

 

Now that he was standing in front of her, she was kind of surprised that she hadn’t figured it out earlier. 

 

There were so many little things that added up to a much larger picture. Things like his mannerisms, or the way he moved his hands, or his physical build. She thought back to their very first encounter, when he hadn’t bothered to obscure his face because she hadn’t known him then. She’d seen his eyes, so distinctive, so green, and how had she seriously not realized? 

 

Cisco had told her that she was the only person to ever find out before Barry told them, so that did make her feel proud. After all, Cisco and Caitlin were geniuses, so if they hadn’t realized maybe there was hope for her. Although he had informed her that neither of them had ever received as much face time with The Flash as Iris had, so that didn’t bode well for her. Still, she appreciated Cisco’s efforts to put her mind at ease about the whole situation.

 

Particularly after she’d revealed her betrayal to him.

 

She’d told him about the case she’d been building against Barry, not knowing he was Barry. She’d told him that she’d been an ally and private investigator of CCPD for the past few months. She’d told him that he and Caitlin were a part of the file she’d been amassing. 

 

She told him she wanted to help them.

  
Because truthfully as soon as she’d found out that Barry was The Flash, all of her already shaky plans to put him in handcuffs went out the door. She’d already been wavering, but this served as the nail in the coffin. 

  
She was going to build them an alibi.

  
She was going to lie to the police department.

 

She was a part of Team Flash even if The Flash didn’t know it.

 

She and Cisco had burned all the evidence she’d gathered against them and agreed to meet every couple of weeks to figure out their course of action. In the meantime, Cisco was going to covertly begin to wipe all of CCPD’s evidence bank under the guise of a massive virus, and Iris was going to do everything she could to lead them away from Barry Allen’s trail. 

 

He was completely unaware of all of this, naturally, so Iris plastered a smile on her face. “A present?” 

 

Flash, Barry, was in front of her then, grinning. “You could call it that.” He said before producing a small delicate gold bracelet. 

 

Iris’ brow furrowed as she stared at in confusion. It was certainly an unconventional gift to give your best friend. Looking at the links a little closer she asked, “Are those lightning bolts?” 

 

Flash laughed. “They are. I thought it was funny. Cisco made it for you after your run-in with Reverse Flash.” His face sobered then. “I need to keep you safe, and since you keep insisting on dancing with danger, I figured this was a good thing to give you. If you push the clasp twice it’ll send out a distress signal that alerts me to your location. It’ll also start recording and send a transcript back to STAR Labs. I figured it was more covert then your phone.” He held the bracelet out to her. 

 

Saying nothing, she took it from him. It was a beautiful piece, and he’d clearly put more thought into it than he’d needed to. 

 

Iris looked up at Barry then, and God it really was Barry. Her Barry. 

 

She didn’t think then, too many unexplored feelings overwhelming her in that moment, she just surged forward and kissed him. 

 

It was a little awkward because his face was still vibrating, but it stilled a few seconds after he seemed to process what was happening. She didn’t have time to worry about rejection, because he was soon responding in turn, moving his mouth against hers. Iris hummed against him, and he seemed to swallow the sound as he pulled her closer, like he was trying to make her a part of him. Iris nips at his bottom lip lightly. She moved her hands up his chest, past the lighting bolt, and up to his shoulders. She was just about to pull back his cowl, and she doesn’t think he’ll stop her, when she remembered that he hadn't told her his secret yet. 

 

He hadn’t told her. 

 

It’s that thought that sent Iris reeling backwards. He followed her for a second in a daze but seemed to remember himself as he pushed away. “I’m sorry,” he said and he was breathless.

 

She was not in any better shape as she panted, “It was me. It was me.” 

 

He seemed to forget to make his face vibrate as he just looks her up and down, face unreadable. “I should go,” he said even though he doesn’t seem to want to. 

 

“You should,” she said even though she doesn’t want him to. 

 

He did.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again! Hope you like! I know some of you will be very happy, because B & I are single and ready to mingle ;). I know I dragged that out, so thank you for your patience!!! Come say hi on tumblr - iriswestaf.tumblr.com

Iris broke up with Eddie three days later. 

 

He didn’t ask why. 

 

She suspected he knew the reason. 

 

**OOO**

 

Barry avoided her as both himself and The Flash. 

 

At first she was kind of sad, but sadness quickly gave way to anger as it usually did for her. He knew that she’d gone through a breakup. He knew he was the reason for aforementioned breakup. They’d freaking kissed for crying out loud.

She’d relayed all this information to Caitlin and Cisco, the former listening with polite interest, the latter looking like he wanted to throw himself out a window, but they were the only people she could talk to. 

 

“I mean I don’t even know if I want this to move forward in that way, but the least he could do is reject me to my face.”

 

“I mean he broke up with Patty,” Cisco said, earning a glare from Cait. 

 

Iris’ heart stopped. “He broke up with Patty?” 

 

Cisco snorted like he was surprised she didn’t know even though  _ no one tells her anything.  _ “Yeah like three seconds after you kissed him. I don’t think rejection is what you need to be worried about,” he muttered as he sipped his coffee. 

 

Caitlin elbowed him in the ribs and he let out a squeak. “What Cisco means is that Barry is probably trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation. He still thinks that you believe he and The Flash are two separate people. He has to figure this out as two separate people.” 

 

And yeah, she supposed that made sense. Barry wasn’t the type to cheat on someone, even if it had been her who’d kissed him. He probably ended things with Patty out of guilt. He couldn’t like her, could he? 

 

Cisco groaned like he could read her mind as he placed his head in his hand. “Which is why maybe you should consider telling him you know he’s The Flash.” 

 

Iris glared at him. “No, not until he’s ready to tell me himself.” 

 

“All I’m saying is that you should be talking about all of this with Barry. It would take a lot of stress off his plate,” Cisco sighed. 

 

“I know that I just don’t know how to…”

 

She never got to finish that sentence. 

 

At that moment a man who Iris did not recognize came in brandishing a very large gun of some sort. Without a word he aimed it at the trio, but Iris was the only one who could see since Cisco and Caitlin’s backs were to the door. All she could manage to do was scramble over the table, throwing her own body forward and tackling them to the ground just as the assailant pulled the trigger. 

 

“Seriously,” she groaned as she hit the ground. She was really getting tired of being attacked every five seconds.

 

A large explosion sounded as the blast missed its mark and hit the back wall of Jitters. Iris, who was on the ground, quickly reached back and flung their table on its side so that they were momentary shielded behind it. 

 

“Damn G.I. Jane,” Cisco breathed as he appraised her. 

 

Iris gave him a smile in spite of the circumstances. “Adrenaline.” Iris peaked her head up and saw the man reloading the weapon to presumably fire again. “Now are you going to make the call or should I.” 

 

Caitlin held up her phone in answer. “Already done.” 

 

Just as the words were leaving her lips, the air in the room seemed to charge with electricity. There was a blast of wind, a red streak, and then his face was in front of her.

 

“Stay here,” he commanded before he took off again. 

 

Iris looked around to find that she wasn’t at Jitters anymore, she was at STAR Labs. There was a moment of panic as she remembered her friends, but a quick look to her left found them standing at her side looking a bit rumpled. 

 

They all stared at each other for a few beats, not saying anything. Cisco opened his mouth to speak, but then Flash was back. 

 

“What happened?” 

 

Caitlin was the one who spoke. “We were all hanging out at Jitters and this guy came in and started firing. Iris saved us.” 

 

“Yeah dude, it was badass she went all kamikaze,” Cisco added helpfully.

 

Flash’s gaze landed on her, and he looked almost proud, but then his expression shifted to one of confusion. “Why were the three of you hanging out?” 

 

Too much silence followed that question for it not to be suspicious. Before Cisco could say anything stupid, Iris jumped in. “I bumped into them and offered to buy them coffee for saving my life that one time, or rather, I offered to buy Caitlin coffee and Cisco took me up on it.” The lie was convincing as hell, but it was still another lie. 

 

He seemed to accept it because why wouldn’t he? "Well our friend is locked up and everyone at Jitters is safe.” 

 

Iris beamed. “You saved them.” 

 

Flash looked uncertain. “Well let’s not make a big deal out of it.” 

 

God he really was such a martyr. 

 

But she suddenly realized that he was finally standing in front of her for the first time since their kiss. It had only taken a rogue assassin. 

 

“Could I speak to you please? Alone,” Iris asked as she attempted to keep the smugness out of her voice. 

 

Flash squirmed. “Oh, um, now isn’t a great time. We have stuff to do,” he answered as he nodded over at Caitlin and Cisco.    
  


They were on Iris’ side on this one though. “Caitlin, do we have stuff to do?” Cisco asked. 

 

Cait shook her head. “No, I don’t think we have stuff to do.”

 

Cisco gave them a Cheshire cat grin. “No stuff! Go talk!” 

 

If Flash could kill with a look, they’d both be dead right now. “Guess that stuff got cancelled.” Turning back to Iris, he nodded at her. “Okay, yeah, sure let’s talk.” 

 

She didn’t say anything, she simply turned on her heel and went. It was odd to have him walking beside her, he usually always sped around while she remained largely fixated in one spot. Walking with him felt normal, and nothing about what was going on was normal. 

 

Except when he was moving at a slower speed, it was so obvious it was Barry. 

 

There was something so ridiculously uncoordinated about him that was at odds with how fast he could move. He swung his arms and stuck a little too close behind her, because when she stopped moving he bumped into her. 

 

Totally Barry. 

 

Iris looked up at his vibrating face and God he was confusing her. “I wanted to talk about our kiss.” 

 

Flash shifted back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Oh, um, yeah… that… What about that?” 

 

Iris huffed. He really was going to make this difficult. “You’ve been avoiding me.” 

 

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” he replied much too quickly. “I’ve just been busy.” 

 

And she so desperately wanted to fire back, “Both of you?” But she wasn’t supposed to know and so she said, “You’ve never been too busy to see me before.” 

 

Flash looked at the ground and sighed. “I didn’t know.”

 

“You didn’t know what?” 

 

His head moved back up, but Iris could tell his eyes were on the ground. “I didn’t know if you’d meant to do it. To kiss me.”

 

She was understandably confused. “You didn’t know if I’d meant to stick my tongue down your throat?”

 

This time, Flash looked at her. “No, I mean that I wasn’t sure… I wasn’t sure if you regretted it.” 

 

And she was still very much confused, because she was pretty sure she’d made herself expressly clear. “Why would I have regretted it?” 

 

“Because I’m me,” he answered back with a forced laugh that was the saddest sound Iris had ever heard. 

 

She stepped closer. “I know you’re you, that’s why I kissed you.” But a new doubt, one that had probably existed within her for a long time, rose up. “But if you don’t want this, I understand. I just don’t want to lose this…” She didn’t know if she could call it a friendship, at least what was between her and the Flash, so she cut herself off. 

 

This time it him who moved closer to her. His voice was the most earnest she’d ever heard it, and that was saying something. “Is that what you think? That I didn’t want to kiss you? That I haven’t wanted to kiss you since we first met?” 

 

Iris felt about 2 feet tall as she answered, “Kind of.” 

 

Flash laughed again, but this time he sounded exasperated. “Iris, I have wanted you more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life. I think about you constantly, my whole life has been turned upside down, I -“ He cut himself off then and all too quickly he was moving away from her. “But we can’t. I can’t. If I keep letting myself kiss you I’m not going to be able to stop kissing you.”   
  


Iris grabbed his arm to stop him. “So then don’t stop kissing me.”

 

He was looking at her like she was insane and maybe she was. “Don’t you get it? This life I have is dangerous, I’m dangerous.”

 

“You’re not dangerous,” she replied in what was almost an angry tone. She was so sick of that line.

 

“Being associated with me is and these past few months have proved that a thousand times over. If anything happened to you I don’t know what I’d do.” His voice was rising as his emotions seemed to overwhelm him at the prospect. 

  
Iris placed one hand on the side of his face to calm him down, the other still resting on his arm. “You’re gonna drive yourself crazy thinking about all the things that you can’t control. Just think about what you can. Think about you and me, and for the love of God just kiss me.”

 

His expression betrayed how torn he was. “Iris…” 

 

“Kiss me.” 

 

And finally he did. 

 

**OOO**

 

She wrote all through the night the same way she always did when she had a particularly good piece.

 

She wasn’t entirely sure her editor was going to approve, but she knew it would cause shockwaves, and at the end of the day all he cared about was readership. 

 

People weren’t going to like it, not at first anyway. People never liked the truth when they’d been fed a lie for so long. That’s why she had to handle this delicately. It was too important to mess up.

 

If she was going to help Barry she had to change public perception surrounding The Flash. It wasn’t that he hadn’t done anything wrong, she just had to alter the way people saw that wrong. She got testimonies from the people he’d saved from the fire, she presented evidence of all the charitable donations he’d made, she mentioned those he’d helped at Jitters just the other day, she even included tidbits from her own run-ins with The Flash. 

 

They’d run it anonymously so as to not paint a target on her back, but she was going to demand the front page to increase credibility. She was going to try and get the paper to run a monthly article dedicated to the subject. After all, this was only one piece, and she needed the people of Central City to get the whole picture. 

 

Taking one last read before sending the work to the editor, Iris West sat back against her chair and stared at the headline. 

 

_ The Flash: Hero? _

 

She changed the question mark to a period. 

 

**OOO**

 

Wally: Saw ur article. 

 

Iris: I have no idea what you’re talking about…

 

Wally: ur a great writer

 

Wally: a shit liar but a great writer.

 

Iris: Again, no idea what you’re talking about 

 

Iris: :) 

 

Wally: yeah, yeah. just remind Allen he needs to pick me up before the hockey game tonight 

 

Iris: You’re going to the hockey game with Barry and you guys didn’t invite me? 

 

Iris: wtf

 

Wally: gotta run!

 

Wally: get it? cause Flash?  

 

**OOO**

 

“Why do you keep doing this to yourself?” 

 

Iris turned to look at her best friend, who was pulling plates out of her cupboard. “You don’t even know if I was the one to write the article. It was published anonymously.” She smirked as she pulled the tandoori chicken and samosas out of the take out bag. 

 

Barry made a little scoffing noise. “I know your writing like the back of my hand.” Iris preened a bit under the statement but didn’t allow him to see. “Besides, who else would write that article.” 

 

Iris shrugged as she took a plate from his hand. “Lots of people.” 

 

Barry raised an eyebrow at her, but she could tell he wasn’t actually angry. How could he be when the reception to her article had actually been largely positive from the public? “Whoever it was was awfully complimentary of The Flash.” 

 

“He deserves all the compliments they gave him,” she replied with a smirk. 

 

“Seems like Wally was right. You do have a crush on him.” Barry’s voice was uncertain, it was a question posing as a statement. 

  
She could tell he was waiting on her answer, trying to gauge her feelings for him. She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t fair that he could hide behind his alter ego, but she had committed herself to waiting until he told her. Ignoring his question, she popped a samosa in her mouth. It was only a few seconds later that she realized the gravity of her mistake. “Hot,” she breathed as she opened her mouth and began to fan inside. “Hot, hot, hot!” 

 

Barry held out a hand, eyes going wide as he realized her predicament. “Spit!” 

 

Iris didn’t even hesitate as she discarded the food into his palm. Staring at the mess of chewed Indian take-out and spit in his hand, she began to laugh. “I’m so sorry!” 

 

Barry just smiled at her, paying no mind to how disgusting the situation was. “I am such a good friend.” 

 

She just laughed harder as she took the food out of his hand and threw it in the trash, handing him a napkin in the process. “You are the best friend.” Staring at his dorky face for a beat, she decided to let him have this moment. “And yes, maybe I do have a crush on The Flash. I’m trying to figure it all out. I’ve been having a lot of feelings for people I shouldn’t be.” She let that statement linger there, trying to imply with her eyes that maybe he was that person. 

 

It’s too bad that for a genius CSI his skull was so thick. “Like who?” 

 

But she wasn’t going to give it to him that easily. “Ryan Gosling,” she sighed, doing her best to sound as lovelorn as possible. Barry let out a frustrated chuckle. “I’m thinking of inviting him to your birthday, since I’ll be losing my chosen date to Patty.” Barry hadn’t confirmed whether or not things were done with Patty, and she needed to know. 

 

“Oh, yeah, we broke up,” Barry said as he fixed himself a plate.

 

Iris did her best to appear shocked.

 

She did her best to not appear elated. 

 

“What?” She supposed that was an appropriate reaction. 

 

Barry looked up at her, face appearing guarded and yet slightly guilty. “Yeah I meant to tell you. Happened about a week ago.” 

 

“Why?” Iris asked and her mind was racing as fast as Barry could move. 

 

He shrugged. “It wasn’t working. My heart wasn't in it. She’s a great girl, she’ll find someone.” 

 

Iris nodded, any ill-will towards Patty having vanished now that she wasn’t competition. She wanted to ask Barry about what he wasn’t saying, about whether his heart was in it with her, but she kept her mouth shut. “Okay, so no Patty and no Ryan Gosling. We’ll keep the celebration small.” 

 

Barry sighed. “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that too,” Barry groaned and Iris’ stomach shot to the floor. Was he going to tell her he wanted to stop hanging out? That he was over her too? That he’d found some new girl with shiny hair and perfect teeth to spend time with? “Eobard throws this party every year for my birthday. I think it's more of an excuse for him to show off his mansion. I was wondering if you’d be my date.” 

 

He just kept throwing her for a loop. 

 

“Um, you want me to be your date? To a fancy birthday gala? Where presumably your whole family will be? Including Eddie?”

 

Barry nodded slowly. “Well, Eddie doesn’t usually come, but yeah, basically. There’s no pressure, I just thought it’d be much more bearable if you were there. We only have to stay for an hour and then we can go do something fun.” Barry hesitated before he tacked on, almost shyly, “I just want to spend my birthday with you.” 

  
Her heart squeezed a little at that, and she had to wonder what previous birthdays had been like for him. This whole event just seemed so not him, and she would guess that most, if not all, of the people in that room could not give two shits about him. Eobard would probably be at the top of that list.

 

Speaking of Eobard, the whole mention of him reminded her that once upon a time she’d been building a file on him. That he was her lead suspect in the case of “who the fuck is Reverse Flash?” She’d kind of forgotten about him after all the craziness with Barry. This party could provide a golden opportunity to do some sleuthing. 

 

So, partly because of that, but mostly because she wouldn’t miss Barry’s birthday for the world, she said, “Of course.”

**OOO**   


She wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.

It would probably be more accurate to say that she doesn’t  _ want  _ to broach the subject. They were having a lovely time just talking about nothing. He was still keeping his distance, still insisting that they can’t be together, but she kept stealing kisses and he didn’t protest too adamantly. She hated to kill the levity.

Iris did any way.

“Did you ever do any digging on Eobard Thawne like I asked you to?” She said it so quietly she wasn’t sure he’d hear her. 

His computer had been surprisingly unhelpful, but then again he did seem like the type to keep paper files. There had been a few charts mapping things like speed and velocity over a period of a few years, which she suspected might be Barry’s speed and velocity, but it wasn’t like she could ask him what year he’d gotten his powers. Plus, she knew Eobard was some sort of scientist, he’d worked in STAR Labs, so maybe they were just your standard graphs.

Right. 

He did hear her. “I poked around a bit,” he replied, hesitation evident. 

“And?” 

Flash sighed. “And I haven’t been entirely honest with you.” 

Iris started. Was this how he planned on telling her? “About what?” 

He actually laughed even though the situation wasn’t funny. “About a lot of things, but in this case I’m talking about Eobard. He’s not Reverse Flash.” Iris watched as he clenched and unclenched his fist. “I know him.” 

She knew that he knew Eobard, he was his nephew, but she was surprised he confessed to know him as The Flash. She feigned ignorance regardless. “What do you mean you know him?” 

Flash kicked at nothing. “I mean that we work together.”

Pieces were starting to click together the more he spoke, but Iris was still confused. “You work together?”

“A lot of the heists I complete are on his behalf. He tells me where he wants to hit and I do,” He said it like it wasn’t a big fucking deal. 

She had to hand it to Thawne, he’d managed to build up quite the operation while painting himself as largely innocent. If Barry went down, he would likely remain untouched. Iris sighed as she understood. “You’re doing his dirty work for him?”

“No, we’re partners. I get to keep some of the money and he keeps the cops off my back.” His voice was too heated for it to be the truth. 

Still one part, the biggest part, didn’t make sense to her. “But why? You don’t have to do it, Ba-“ She cut herself before his name could slip out. “Because you’re good and smart and you could help people instead of hurting them. Why work with Thawne at all?” 

Flash shrugged. “It’s who I am.”

“No it’s not,” Iris shot back in what had become reflex.  

He seemed to understand that that lie wasn’t going to work anymore. He tried something new, and it felt more like the truth. “Okay, well it’s all I’ve ever known. Eobard has taken care of me, Iris. I owe him.”

Iris scoffed at the ridiculousness of it all. “Introducing you into a life of crime and making you do all of this isn’t taking care of you.” 

“I chose this. He didn’t make me do anything.” 

He didn’t make him do anything.

 

But he took advantage of Barry wanting to please people. Thawne took advantage of his kindness and turned it into something malicious. He manipulated Barry. 

But Flash was right, he wasn’t blameless. 

 

A new, troubling notion popped into Iris’ mind. One that she hadn’t truly considered before, but one that refused to be ignored. “So is this the life you want? You want to be the villain? You want to keep robbing people?”

Some emotion flickered on Flash’s face, one that Iris couldn’t quite pinpoint. He seemed surprised at her question. There was no waver in his voice as he replied, “No. No, I’m trying to be better, but it’s not that simple, Iris.” He scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration and then turned to look at her again, expression conflicted. “I just wanted to be honest with you. I wanted you to know the truth, in case that changed things.” 

And then suddenly it made more sense. He was scared he’d say the wrong thing and she was going to leave him. He was scared he’d do the wrong thing and she was going to run. He was scared something was finally going to push her over the edge and she was going to abandon him the way everyone else had. 

Iris stepped towards him slowly, like he’d bolt at any moment. When she was finally close enough, she placed her hands on his vibrating shoulders, and that part of him stilled. “I know who you are. I know the kind of person you are. I know your heart. So no matter how many skeletons are in your closet, as long as you are still that same man, I’m not going anywhere.” Something inside of her shifted as she realized the truth in her own words. She was committed to him, villain or hero, as terrifying as that was. “I’m in this. Just tell me what you want.”

He leaned down and smashed his lips to hers, the action causing ripples to move down her face and spine. His body quieted completely as she came to the realization that this was the first time he’d been the one to kiss her first. It was quick, much too quick for her liking, but he pulled back slowly and allowed his forehead to rest against hers. “You,” he whispered against her skin.  

And the scary thing was, she was pretty sure he had her. 

**OOO**

“I see you’re wearing the bracelet Barry got you,” Cisco said as he slurped at his coffee.

Caitlin had been meant to join them, but she’d gotten caught up at her day job, the Children’s Hospital of all places, so it was just Iris and Cisco. 

An odd pair, but a cohesive unit. 

She felt bad that she had been spending so much time with Caitlin and Cisco behind Barry’s back, but she was also sticking to her guns about not telling him, as much as it pissed off the person across from her. 

“You mean the bracelet you made me?” Iris quipped. 

Cisco held up an admonishing pointer finger. “I made the tech, but I had no say in the design. Dude was obsessive. It had to be gold because ‘Iris only wears gold jewelry’. Like, why does he know that?” 

She smiled in spite of herself. “Well, maybe if you noticed these things you’d have a girlfriend.” 

“Are you Barry’s girlfriend?” Cisco asked before Iris could realize the trap she’d set for herself. 

“No,” she huffed. 

Cisco raised an eyebrow. “Mhmm. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the downtick in the number of crimes Team Flash has committed.” 

“I have nothing to do with that,” Iris replied, trying and failing to sound like she meant it.  

“You know, for an investigative journalist moonlighting as an undercover detective, I’d think you’d be a better liar. It’s amazing you’ve gotten this far.”

She glared at him. “Are you complaining about the turn around?” She knew that both Caitlin and Cisco had never intended for this whole scheme to get this far. They’d entered in when they were two poor college students, but at this point they would follow Barry even as he led them over a cliff. 

  
“Absolutely not.” Then, looking mildly guilty because he knew he wasn’t supposed to talk about it, he said, “I just wish you’d tell him you knew.” 

And naturally, Iris shut it down. “Not gonna happen. Moving on.” He didn’t even try and argue with her, knowing it was futile. She pushed towards what she really wanted to discuss. “I heard you’ve been hanging out with my brother a lot.” She was grateful for the facetime Cisco had been spending with Wally. Her dad had been right; he needed friends with good hearts (he'd said Wally needed friends who weren’t criminals, but she knew what he meant). 

Cisco beamed. “Yeah, he’s a cool kid. Barry set us up. I don’t think he appreciates my jokes enough,” Iris rolled her eyes at that but he pushed on with ,“but he’s crazy smart, Iris. You should be proud.”

“I am, but don’t tell him that. His ego is big enough as it is. Be careful though, he has a tendency to sniff out the nearest illicit activity and try and get involved.”

Cisco suddenly dropped his gaze to the countertop. His voice came out squeaky as he muttered, “Haha. Weird.”

She didn’t need her Psych degree to know he was hiding something. “Cisco –“

He’d called her a shit liar, but he was somehow, impossibly, worse than she was. “I love when they draw the little foam pictures, don’t you?”

“Cisco.” Her voice came out a warning. 

Then he was blurting, “He’s helping me build a weapon to defeat Reverse Flash.”

  
“Cisco!” 

Cisco’s hands went up in defense like he was trying to protect himself from her. “He doesn’t know that that’s what it’s for!”

“I don’t want him anywhere near this,” Iris told him. That wasn’t up for debate.  

“Don’t you think that’s a bit hypocritical?” Off a death glare, he was amending his words. “I know, I know, but he found the plans in my apartment before I could hide them. He’s brought a fresh perspective to the whole thing, Iris. I think I can make it work. I just need the right scenario.” 

Curiosity killed the cat and it was definitely going to kill her, because she was quick to bite as reluctant as she was. “What is it?” 

Cisco seemed grateful she’d taken the heat off of him. He launched into an explanation. “Reverse Flash is faster than Barry, he always has been. He’s probably the only person on Earth that is. That’s always been our problem. That he’s faster. But what if I made it so that he wasn’t.”

“Okay, I’m listening.” She sipped her coffee to hide her interest since her poker face was terrible. 

“I’m creating a gun to temporarily disable his speed. He won’t be able to move.”

And screw her poker face because this was the answer to her prayers. “Cisco that’s amazing.”

“I know, I know.” He preened under her compliment, but his enthusiasm was quick to diminish. “The problem is that Barry can’t be anywhere near it when it goes off or it’ll disable him too, and he’s the only one fast enough to get close and shoot it at him.” 

Iris nodded, understanding what he was laying out for her even if she didn’t understand the science behind it. “So you need a way to get Reverse Flash to stand still.” 

“And for long enough that someone can aim and fire at him,” he told her.

“And then you can stop him,” Iris breathed. 

He smiled at her. “And then we can stop him.” 

And just like that, with one small amendment of a word, Iris West was inducted into Team Flash. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter - It's got angst and fluff and D-R-A-M-A! I wrote and rewrote this chapter several times, so sorry I've been a bit slow. I basically know where we're going from here, so hopefully updates will be a bit more timely. We're about to enter the final leg of this journey, so enjoy a bit of emotional stuff before the action gets going. 
> 
> Comments keep me going :).

Iris West did not consider herself a particularly jumpy person. 

 

But she had been held at gunpoint.

 

And stabbed. 

 

And choked out by a speedster. 

 

So she had reason to be a little bit wary. 

 

Still, she always did her best not to freak the fuck out at every little bump in the night. 

 

Especially when Barry wasn’t there. 

 

They’d continued to sleep in the same bed after her attack, and it had become especially awkward now that she was sort of seeing his alter ego. It felt like they were dancing on a fine, sexually-charged line and they were both about to go tumbling over at any moment. 

 

Tonight, however, Barry was not spending the night. He’d told her that he had to finish up some things at the lab, which she suspected was bullshit, but didn’t push. She could handle herself for one evening. 

 

Or so she thought. 

 

When she heard a thud coming from the living room, she tried her best to talk herself down from the mental cliff she was building, but something just felt off. She debated calling her father or even texting Barry, knowing he could get to her in a second, but she also didn’t want them to needlessly worry. So instead she unplugged her lamp and made her way out into the living room, prepared to throw it at any potential assailant’s head. 

 

When she gets out of her bedroom what greets her has it slipping from her fingers instead. 

 

Leonard Snart stood next to her bookshelf, examining photos and acting like he hadn’t broken in at 2 AM. That may have freaked her out, but seeing The Flash bleeding all over her rug, that really set her over the edge. 

 

She dropped down to her knees beside him, hands drifting to a stab wound on his abdomen. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled when he saw her. “Iris,” he breathes. “How did I...?”

 

In answer to his question, Leonard Snart put down the picture and turned his attention to her. “Hello, Iris West!”  

 

When Barry saw him he does his best to rise and meet the threat. Unfortunately, he couldn’t quite support his own weight, so he ends up slumped a bit pathetically against Iris. “I’ll kill you, Snart!”

 

“Now that’s no way to talk to the man who saved your life and reunited you with your girlfriend,” Snart purred. 

 

Iris rolled her eyes. She’d faced a lot of threats in the past few months. It was clear Snart wasn’t one of them. “What happened?” 

 

“Seems the fastest man alive was a bit too slow. King Shark managed to get a hold of him at ARGUS.” 

 

Flash relaxed against her, clearly coming to same conclusion she had. “I was trying to protect you, Snart.”

 

Snart laughed. “That was your first mistake.” His eyes ran over Flash and Iris. “Your girlfriend has made you soft.”

 

Iris elected to ignore that, instead choosing to address the other revelation. “You were breaking into ARGUS?” She didn’t try and hide the disappointment in her voice, but her eyes didn’t leave Snart.  

 

“That’s what we do. That’s what I need to finish. Can you handle him, Iris West?” It was a loaded question, and she knew he wasn’t just referencing this moment. 

 

And for the first time, she wasn’t so sure she could. Nevertheless, she nodded. “Yeah, sure. Go.” 

 

Snart paused for a moment, seemingly waiting for something. Then, when it became clear he wasn’t going to get it, he muttered, “You’re welcome.” 

 

Then Leonard Snart picked up his cold gun and walked out her front door like it was the most normal thing in the world. She sat there for a moment, Flash breathing heavily against her. She couldn’t see his face, but she could tell he was waiting for her to speak. 

 

She took a minute to gather herself, and then in a clipped tone, she asked “Can you get yourself to the couch?” 

 

He tensed because he could clearly tell he was in trouble. “Yeah, I think so.” 

 

And it took quite a lot of effort, and he leaned his tall frame against her short one, but together they managed to get him situated. 

 

“I’m sorry about all the blood. I’ll buy you a new rug.” He paused. “And a new couch.” 

 

Iris shook her head. “Don’t worry about it.” 

  
She didn’t let him get another word out as she stood and made her way to the bathroom. Her body seemed to switch to autopilot as she pulled the first-aid kit from the cabinet. 

 

_ Stealing. He was stealing from ARGUS.  _

 

She slammed the mirror shut so hard she was surprised it didn’t shatter. 

 

As she came back to the living room, she didn’t say anything, instead wordlessly pulling gauze out and moving to tend to his wounds. This was really a job for Caitlin, but for whatever reason, Snart had brought him here. Why had Snart brought him here? 

 

Flash’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. “Iris…” 

 

She looked up at him, waiting to see what he’d say. Practically daring him to try and excuse this behavior. Praying he had some sort of explanation. 

 

It was evident he didn’t. 

 

So she turned her attention back to his abdomen. His body was already beginning to heal itself, but it was still a pretty nasty wound. What she’d initially thought was a stab wound was actually a bite. King Shark had bitten him. 

 

Because he was trying to steal from ARGUS. 

 

And her brain must really be fried, because Iris started to laugh. 

 

It was a maniacal, mechanical sort of sound. It sounded deranged as it hit her ears. She couldn’t stop laughing. It was disturbing.

 

It was clearly disturbing him.

 

“Iris?” He tried, but she kept laughing. 

 

Somehow, amidst the maniacal laughing, she managed to get out “I can’t… I can’t keep doing this.” 

  
Flash was confused and she didn’t blame him. “What?” 

 

And then, the laughing stopped and she was yelling. “I can’t keep doing this! I can’t keep trying to help you if you refuse to be helped!” 

 

For the third time, like it was all he was capable of, he said her name. “Iris.”

 

“No, no, no, no.” She shook her head so hard she was scared it was going to pop off. “Don’t say anything.” Iris picked up the antiseptic dumped it into his wound, trying not to smile when he winced. 

And he ignored her earlier directive as he told her, “I have people who are depending on me, Iris!” 

 

She ripped a piece of gauze and placed it on his wound. “Bad people!” She yelled as she slapped some tape over the gauze. 

 

Even with the vibration Iris could tell he was pissed. “They’re still people!”   
  


“You think they’d honestly give a damn about you if you weren’t working with them? If you weren’t stealing from them?” Her voice was goading, mean, and unrecognizable as she basically taunted him.    
  
“It’s all I’ve ever known!” 

 

And if King Shark hadn’t done so much damage she’d punch him in that pretty face. “That’s not an excuse!”   
  


“Yeah, well it’s the best you’re going to get!” He shrugged. 

 

All of a sudden, without warning, a tear spilled over. It was a rage tear, one she hadn’t even felt pooling, but soon there were more streaking down her face. “And what about all the people who care about you? Who know you can be better? What about me?”   
  


“What?” Flash asked, anger vanishing faster than he moved.    
  


She was so tired and she was so defeated and she absolutely hated it. “Are you ever going to tell me who you are?”

 

“You know who I am.” Flash moved to wipe away a tear from her cheek. 

 

Iris reeled away from him. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” 

 

He was hurt, but it was also quite clear he was more than a little confused. “This has never been an issue for you.” 

 

She shook her head. “This has always been an issue for me, I’ve just never said anything.” 

 

The silence in the room was palpable. Heartbreaking. Iris could see that he was trying to work through the information she’d just dumped on him, but she knew it was a lot, especially when she’d been pretending to be fine. 

 

She took a breath to steel herself, then, “I thought that… I thought that I wouldn’t care. I thought that I didn’t care. I thought that maybe you just needed time, and who was I to you? Who was I to feel entitled to that information. But I think that I became someone to you, and you became someone to me, but you’ve had time and you still haven’t told me.” 

 

Iris tucked her knees up under her chin. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, so she fixed her eyes on the emblem on his chest. The same one she’d stared at the first time they’d met. “Sometimes I feel like you’re not even real. Like I made you up. There’s nothing real about you, nothing concrete, nothing to tie you to me. You could disappear one day and I’d have no way of ever knowing you were here in the first place.” She thought about her dad, and Eddie, and LInda; all the people who told her to be careful, that this was a mistake. It was the first time she felt any sort of regret at not listening. “My whole life has paused for you. It’s at a stand still, and I feel like I’m just waiting for you to tell me, but I can’t keep waiting. I can’t keep giving and giving to you if you’re going to keep hurting people. If you’re going to keep hurting me.” 

 

Flash stuck a gloved finger under her chin and forced her to meet his eyes. His face wasn’t vibrating. She wasn’t sure whether he knew it or not. “Iris, you are undoubtedly the single most important thing in my life. Your world may have paused, but you became my world. You’re everything to me.” 

 

She sighed and leaned against his hand, which moved to cup her face. “Then why won’t you tell me who you are?” 

 

He laughed, a sad sound.“Because you’re everything to me.” His thumb wiped away a tear and this time she didn’t move away. “I’m sorry that I hurt you.” 

 

“I know,” she sighed. 

 

“I’m trying,” he whispered. 

 

“I know. That’s why I’m still here.” 

 

Wordlessly, in a way she could only communicate with Barry, they moved in sync. He opened his arms and she crawled into them, taking care to not touch his wounds. She knew the bed was more comfortable, they’d shared it before, but she was just so tired. He wrapped an arm around her waist and she tucked her head against his chest. Barry began to rub circles on her back until she fell asleep, his heartbeat too fast in her ear.. 

 

In the morning he was gone. 

 

She wasn’t sure he’d been there at all. 

 

**OOO**

 

Trust Barry Allen to neglect to mention the fact that his birthday wasis a fucking  _ event.  _

 

She’d had a sneaking suspicion when he’d told her that the dress code was formal, but she hadn’t guessed how formal it would be. It was a black tie, ballroom, sit-down dinner, butlers in penguin suits, kind of affair and thank God there was copious amounts of alcohol because she needed every drop. 

  
She had no idea how Barry had done it all these years. 

 

Iris wasis pretty sure that most of the people in the room, the people being toted as Barry's family and friends, didn’t even know it was his birthday they were meant to be celebrating. She couldn’t imagine how awful it was to spend what was supposed to be a day all about you with a bunch of people who couldn’t care less. Barry had told her that Eobard didn’t like to invite people who weren't family, and she got the sense that he’d had to push hard so that this uncle would let him bring her. He couldn’t even celebrate with the people he wanted to. All so Eobard could keep the focus on himself and continue to strut around like a peacock. 

 

Speaking of Eobard… 

 

Iris was currently on her way to break back into his office. She’d left Barry in the company of a great-aunt who, judging by the dirty looks and snide comments she’d been shooting at Iris, wasn't a fan of people with her complexion. At the very least, Barry hadn’t put up a fight when she’d excused herself from the conversation, only shooting her an apologetic smile. She supposed she could at least thank the woman for giving her a cover. 

 

She found her destination with relative ease given the size of the house and how awful her sense of direction was. The office was locked this time around, but she’d been prepared for that and she’d had Cisco make her a master key of sorts. He claimed he was tired of her demanding he make all these gadgets for her, but she could tell a small part of him loved it. Not to mention the fact that she knew he’d do anything to help Barry.

 

Knowing that the laptop was a bust, Iris went about searching drawers and bookshelves and any other nook and cranny she could find. There wasn’t much given the fact that he was a criminal mastermind involved with the Flash who might be a dangerous meta himself. It was almost irritating how boring and normal Thawne’s office was. She’d been expecting photos of victims and plans for heists and maybe a note written in blood that said “I AM REVERSE FLASH.” None of that greeted her. Eobard Thawne was almost completely clean.

 

Almost.

 

The file in the third drawer on the right side of his desk wasn’t suspicious in and of itself. In fact, she probably would have passed it over if it hadn’t been labeled “B. Allen.” Inside were various documents and medical records that, again, weren’t all that suspicious because he was Barry’s legal guardian. 

 

Except for the fact that these medical records were from when Barry was a toddler. 

 

They listed the standard things like weight and height, but they’d also done extensive blood work and noted things like his metabolic rate and average speed. They’d mapped his genes and examined his cells and ran all sorts of tests that Iris was pretty sure she hadn’t undergone at her yearly checkup. 

 

There was also a giant STAR Labs insignia in the top right corner. 

 

She remembered that Henry had mentioned Nora being upset about experiments that Eobard had performed on Barry, and she'd venture to guess that's what these files were about. Fishing her phone out of her purse, Iris quickly snapped a few pictures before placing the documents back where she’d found them. The last thing she needed was anyone finding out she’d been in here. 

 

Naturally that’s exactly what happened. 

 

He was waiting for her as soon as she stepped out, but she had no idea if he knew what exactly she’d seen. “Find what you were looking for, Miss West?” Eobard purred. 

 

Iris looked down the hallway, praying that anyone would be there, but was unsurprised to find it empty. Putting on her best poker face, she smiled at him. “I was just having a look around. Investigative reporter, can’t help myself. Your office is lovely, did you have a decorator, or?”

 

Thawne grinned back in a decidedly terrifying manner. “You are charming, I can see why he’s so enamored with you.” Then suddenly he was grabbing her forearm and digging his nails into her bare skin. Iris had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. “But I won’t have you taking what is mine. I suggest you fall in line Miss West, the consequences if you don’t could be catastrophic.” 

 

She knew she should be afraid, but all she felt was rage. Not just rage for herself, but rage for Barry. Rage at the implication that he belonged to Eobard. She didn’t quite know where the rising possessiveness was coming from, but Barry Allen was  _ hers _ . Iris wrenched her arm out of his grip and swung her other hand back, balling it into a fist before connecting it was his smug face. 

 

Eobard had clearly not been expecting that as his hand shot up to assess the damage. Iris wasted no time in getting up in his face. “If you ever threaten me or Barry again, I can assure you the consequences  _ will be _ catastrophic.” She had no idea what exactly those consequences would be, but damn she'd make them “catastrophic.” Before he could say anything else, or, you know, kill her, Iris spun on her heel and raced back to the party. 

 

It only took her a split second to find Barry, eyes darting almost instinctively to where he was pressed up against a back wall looking like he wanted to die. She moved quickly towards him, but did her best to appear as though the heated confrontation with Eobard hadn’t just occurred. “Did you hold down the fort?” 

 

Barry looked at her like she was the answer to a prayer. “Not much to hold down.” He paused. “Do you want to get out of here?” 

 

YesYes, she absolutely wanted to get out of there, but she didn’t want to seem too eager. “What about dinner?” 

 

Barry shrugged. “We can stay if you want, but I usually ditch before dinner and no one notices.” 

 

Iris breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed his arm. “Why are we still here?” Barry laughed as she began to pull him towards the exit. 

 

He seemed to be right, no one paid them any mind as they grabbed their coats and took their leave. Just as they reached the door, she looked back to see Eobard staring at them with a sour expression. 

 

Iris smiled at him. 

 

**OOO**

 

“Did you do anything fun today?” Iris asked over the top of her milkshake.

 

In a classic “Barry and Iris” move, they’d ended up at Big Belly Burger. It was so startlingly opposite to the scene they’d just left in the best way possible. She’d offered to call Caitlin and Cisco and get them to join, but Barry had confessed he wanted to keep it just them and that had made her feel all warm and gooey. 

 

“Nothing much, same stuff I usually do on my birthday. Visited my mom,” he said quickly, and before Iris could respond he added, “Visited my dad.” 

 

Iris started, because he had a knowing smile on his face. “How is Henry?” She asked, trying her best to sound like she didn’t have the answer to that question. 

 

“I know you’ve been visiting him, Iris.” 

 

She felt like a little kid who’d been caught stealing cookies from the jar. “How’d you know?” She groaned.

 

But Barry was grinning at her. “Your name is in the log book. I see it every time I sign in. Plus, my dad can’t keep a secret to save his life.” 

 

“Damn Henry and his honest face!” She dropped her head into her hands. 

 

Barry reached across the table and forced her chin up so that she was looking at him, causing Iris’ breath to catch into her throat. “Thank you,” he said, and any ounce of teasing was gone. 

 

Iris cleared her throat in an attempt to reign in her emotions. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know if you’d want me visiting him.” 

 

“Of course I want you visiting him. It means a lot to him and to me.” He smiled again. “Plus he is the leader of the Iris West fan club, I swear. He’s regretting not arranging a marriage when we were kids.” 

 

She laughed. “Iris West-Allen does have a nice ring to it, I think I could make it work.” 

 

She’d meant it as a joke, but suddenly Barry’s gaze was hot on her and his eyes were liquid fire and her heart was beating much too quickly.

 

He swallowed. His voice sounded off, different, as he replied, “It does have a nice ring to it.” 

 

Iris took a quick sip of her milkshake, fearing that if she tried to speak before she’d just end up choking. In an attempt to shift gears, she said, “Maybe we could go visit together.” 

 

Barry’s eyes dropped to the table and he managed a weak smile, spell broken. “I’d like that.” Then he looked back up and she could tell he was about to give her major shit about something. “If I can ever steal you away from The Flash.” 

 

Ah yes, him. 

 

But if he was going to tease her, then she was going to give as good as she gets. Iris held up her wrist and let the bracelet he’d given her dangle. “He’s out buying me jewelry, so you may need to step up your game, Allen.” 

 

Barry’s hand moved to her wrist, and he thumbed at the delicate gold band gently. “Pretty. So is it working? His attempts to buy your affection?” 

 

Iris snatched her arm back and she was offended for Flash for half a second before she realized Barry was poking fun at himself. Iris smiled. “Pretty things certainly help, and I’m not one to turn down an accessory, but he doesn’t need to buy my affections. I like him already.” 

 

He sat back against the booth, considering her words. “But you want to change him.” 

 

“No,” She answered reflexively.  

 

Barry shook his head, no judgment in his tone as he said, “I’m not blaming you for that, he’s a bad guy, but you are trying to change him. At the very least, you’re trying to change the way the public views him.”

 

Except that really wasn’t it, and Iris had realized that some time ago. She needed Barry to know that too, she didn’t want him to think he was anything less than fucking brilliant. “It’s not about changing him. If that life was what he wanted, I’d be fine with it. Well, not  _ fine  _ with it, but whatever. To each their own.” And that part was true, much to her growing horror. If he wanted to be a bad guy, it would make her sad, but she didn’t think she’d be able to let him go. “But I don’t think it’s what he wants. I know it’s not who he is. I’m not trying to change him, I’m trying to…”

  
Barry’s eyes were alight with a new understanding. “Save him.” 

 

“I-“ Iris cut herself off. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with that assertion, but it wasn’t wrong. 

 

He cleared his throat, looking a little nervous. “For what it’s worth, I think you should keep trying.” 

 

Iris smiled. “Thanks, Bear.” A new idea came to her, and maybe it was pushing her “let him tell you” thing, but she was a glutton for punishment. She also really needed to take his temperature on what was going on between them. “Besides, even if I do set him on the straight and narrow, it’s not like it matters in terms of whatever is going on with us.”

 

Barry started and that made her feel a little bit more confident. “Why not?”

  
“Firstly, I’m not even sure that he likes me.”   
  


He looked at her like she was insane for doubting her own worth because clearly she was the sun in the sky. “Of course, he does. You’re -“ He made a little half gesture in her general direction. 

 

“I’m what?” Iris asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. Barry was so conservative in regards to his feelings when he wasn’t wearing a mask, but that didn’t mean he didn’t slip up every once and a while. 

 

“You’re you.” He said it like it was explanation enough. “He’d be crazy not to love you.” Barry’s assertion came with a little snort that clearly signaled the case was closed. 

 

Except case was very much not closed.

 

Because he’d said love. 

 

And it could’ve been an unintentional slip. It was probably nothing. It was most definitely not something she should obsess over. 

 

Except he’d said love. 

 

He clearly hadn’t realized that he’d said it, because he was shoving fries in his mouth. Maybe he didn’t think it was a big deal. They loved each other, Barry and Iris, but that didn’t mean he was in love with her. 

 

So she pushed any ideas about love out of her mind and sighed. “Okay, well I don’t even know who he is. How’s that meant to work?”

 

She didn’t miss the flash of guilt that crossed his expression. “I don’t know, Iris, but maybe it’s one of those things you just have to let happen.” 

 

“I just want him to feel like he trusts me enough to tell me.” She was pushing it, but she was never one to respect limits. 

 

Barry shook his head, and Iris felt moderately reassured at how much he seemed to reject that idea. “I doubt it’s an issue of trust. Maybe he’s just afraid. Maybe he’s worried you’ll get hurt.” He paused and said, “Maybe he’s scared you’ll hate him.” 

 

Iris chuckled. “I think it’s pretty obvious I don’t hate him.” 

 

He placed his forearms on the tabletop, leaning close to her so that their faces were only inches apart. Co-conspirators, as they’d been since the beginning of their friendship. “Yeah, but sometimes those kinds of things can change your mind about someone.” 

 

She didn’t think as she said, “It won’t change my mind.” 

 

“You’re sure about that?” 

 

There was something in his face, something she rarely got a glimpse of, something she sensed Barry hadn’t had much of in his life. 

 

Hope.

 

He was riding on her ability to save him. He was praying that she wouldn’t reject him when he showed her all of his scars. She knew in that moment that she could break his heart in two. She also knew in that moment that he could break hers as well.

 

And maybe he didn’t love her, but one thing became abundantly clear. 

 

She loved him. 

 

The realization knocked the wind out of her, but she held fast. It wasn’t really a startling development, she knew it had been building for a long time. The thing was though, she’d had sexual chemistry with The Flash since that very first encounter. It didn’t shock her that she wanted to jump his bones. 

 

It was Barry Allen she adored with her heart and soul.

 

It was Barry Allen who held her in her sleep. He chased away her nightmares. He gave her the last piece of cheesecake. He willingly spent time with her brother and father. He regaled her with dorky, nerd stories that he knew went right over her head. He picked her up from her dentist appointments. He let her spit hot food into his hand. He held back her hair after she’d had one too many pops. He had undeserved, unending faith in her. He looked at her like she was the entire world. He had never once let her down. 

 

She knew that he didn’t, couldn’t, feel the same way about her. The physical attraction was there for definite, but Barry didn’t love her. She’d know if he did. How could he, anyway? She was about as much of a mess as they came. Barry was brilliant, and wholesome, and good (when he wasn’t being very bad) and deserved the white picket fence life with the golden retriever and the 2.5 kids. She wasn’t the girl he ended up with. Still…

 

Barry Allen was the man she loved. 

 

She let the weight of that settle over her. Then she said, “I’m sure.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received so many lovely comments on the last update (and also none of you mentioned the fact that for whatever reason the doc tracked all my changes so it was riddled with spelling errors. you guys are too nice) and they really encouraged me to work extra hard on this one. ALL THE FEELS! 
> 
> Prepare to be frustrated... and maybe a little sad... and angry at Barry and Iris... and probably at me too. But it'll all be worth it in the end... Hopefully :) 
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy - please let me know what you think!!! We're entering the home stretch team! Also feel free to come say hi on Tumblr - iriswestaf.tumblr.com

“Iris,” he breathed against her lips. She wasn’t making it easy for him to speak, but he didn’t really seem to be complaining. “We should stop.”

 

She really didn't want to, and she got the feeling from the heat in his voice that he didn't want to either, but she consented all the same. As soon as she backed up his face began vibrating again. He’d taken to letting it still when they were sucking face, which she recognized was a big deal for him. All she had to do was open her eyes and she’d see that “hey that was her best friend”. They both knew that. She took it as a sign that he was getting closer to telling her, which pleased her.

 

The kissing pleased her too. 

 

It had happened a few times, all very PG except for that one time his fingers had danced up her too-short skirt and she was pretty sure she’d felt  _ something _ underneath all that leather. He’d cut it off, of course, with a little whimper that was somehow both sexy and adorable as was Barry Allen’s trademark. 

 

He was so infuriatingly chivalrous and she was so sexually frustrated that she wished he’d just hurry up and tell her the truth so that he could touch her the way she wanted him to. She knew he'd never so long as he was keeping such a secret from her, and she respected that as much as it infuriated her. 

 

She respected it, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t make him suffer just a touch. Iris turned away from him, making sure to sway her hips in a way she knew would get to him. She walked over to the roof ledge of Jitters and hoisted herself onto it, making sure her legs were parted just enough and her lips were pursed just so. 

 

It worked. “Are you trying to kill me?” His voice sounded ridiculously strained much to her satisfaction. 

 

“No,” she laughed with a smirk. 

  
She blinked and he was next to her, her hair lifting with the wind he created. “Don’t worry, it’s working.”

 

“Good,” she allowed. She paused for a minute, crossing and uncrossing her ankles, before she brought up the real reason she’d asked him here. “You haven’t robbed anyone lately.” 

 

He snorted. “Do I get a gold star?” 

 

“Pretty sure all the making out we’ve been doing is reward enough.” She elbowed him in the side. 

 

“Fair enough,” he laughed. 

 

Iris waited and then pressed. “You know if you keep up all this good behavior, and combine it with all the flattering articles I’ve written about you, you might just be Central City’s new golden boy.”

 

He tensed up predictably. “I doubt that.” 

 

She was doing her best to not make this a big deal, but it was and they both knew it. “CCPN did a poll of the public’s thoughts about you, and a lot of them had a positive response. Nearly a majority, in fact.” 

 

“Iris,” he warned. 

 

But she was on a roll. “Throw in a few more heroic saves and maybe if we tell people about all the charitable donations you’ve made…”

 

He cut her off. “Stop! Iris, stop! I don’t know why you keep insisting on doing this!”

 

She held up her hands in surrender, knowing she went too far. “Because I’m trying to help you.” 

 

“I know that.” He jumped down from the ledge and began pacing, agitation making him vibrate faster. “But I’m not a hero, Iris. I don’t know why you keep trying to paint that picture.” 

 

Iris couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “I’m so fucking sick of hearing that! You keep saying that, but we both know it’s not true. You’re a good person.” 

 

Flash threw his hands up in a way that was kind of comical in his frustration. “A good person wouldn’t have done all of this. And besides, there’s a big difference between being a good person and being a hero.” 

 

She knew that this conversation was him trying to reconcile all the the bad things he’d done with who he was as a person. She knew she’d hammered home what she thought about him, and that wasn’t really the point here. She knew this conversation wasn’t for her. 

 

Iris’ voice softened as she said, “Yeah, well you ran into a burning building and saved a bunch of people. Then you saved a bunch of people again at Jitters…”

 

He cut her off. “You know what both those incidents had in common?” 

 

Iris rolled her eyes. “No,” she lied. 

 

“You. I was trying to save you,” he was smiling. Teasing. 

 

“Yeah, well, you could’ve just saved me and left everyone else to die. Besides, who knows how many people your donations have saved? That sounds like a hero to me.” 

 

He signed. “You have a pretty fucked up idea of what constitutes a hero, Iris.” 

 

“Green Arrow is considered a hero even though his methods… leave something to be desired.” She smiled. “You’re like a speedy Robin Hood.” 

 

It elicited the laugh she wanted. “Now there’s an image.” 

 

He’d stopped moving, so she hopped off the ledge and cautiously made her way over to him. Flash didn’t even try and move away, a stark contrast from their first few meetings when he wouldn’t even let her take a step towards him. Iris placed her arms around his neck, and looked up into his blurred face. “Just let me try and clean up your image a little bit, let me do some damage control.” She paused. “Let me help you.”

 

And Iris knew this story couldn’t have a happy ending, but finally,  _ finally,  _ he said, “Okay.” 

 

**OOO**

 

It was working.

 

It was slow and painful and she got a lot of hate mail those first few weeks, but her patience paid off and it was working. 

 

The public had grown increasingly warmer about the idea of The Flash as Central City’s unlikely hero. She’d had to prove it to them, all but rub their nose in it, but the evidence was all there and they bought into it. Pretty soon public polling was finding that 70% of the population though of him positively, and Jitters even started selling some sort of Flash-themed coffee. She’d brought Barry one as her own personal inside joke and he’d blushed and stuttered, but the smile he gave her was blinding. 

 

Cisco was quite pleased with the turn around, and had told her he never doubted her, which made Iris and Cait roll their eyes because he absolutely had. Still, they both seemed to be excited about the idea that they could give up the criminal life in favor of some heroic antics. Honestly, she was amazed with the size of their hearts that Team Flash had ever been a functioning “super-villain” organization. 

 

Everything was going according to plan.

  
Everything except CCPD.

 

The police department was understandably miffed at her coverage of The Flash. They saw it as a clear conflict of interest, and she knew that they wanted to nail him and that wouldn’t go so well if he was the citizen’s new golden boy. Plus, she’d been feeding them dead-ends ever since she’d discovered Flash’s identity, so she was really the opposite of helpful. Her dad had been on her side, having a soft spot he’d never admit to for the Scarlet Speedster, but even he couldn’t keep covering her ass. She needed something, someone, to blame and she needed it fast. 

 

Her answer came in the form of Eobard Thawne. 

 

It was not an easy process; any record of Thawne’s work at STAR Labs seemed to have been wiped from existence. In fact, it appeared as though most of the work done at STAR Labs had been scrubbed. The team of highly intelligent individuals had been solely studying plant life. Right. 

 

She’d found the key to cracking the case by dumb luck. Some maintenance worker had actually put on his Linkedln profile that he’d worked in the lab in the late 90’s, which would’ve been right around when Barry had been there. It had been stupidly easy to call him up and charm him into dropping names. Iris had called up all the former employees, telling them that she simply wanted to discuss their time there, but all of them had refused to meet her. All of them except Priya Tayal. 

 

The woman had seemed nervous on the phone, but had invited Iris to her home so that they could speak in person. Iris had agreed, making sure that she had her tracking bracelet on just in case something went wrong. She was really hoping they didn’t, because she’d have a hard time explaining that one to Barry. 

 

Priya Tayal was beautiful in a very fragile way. She had shiny hair and she hunched her shoulders like she was trying to protect herself from something. Priya had ushered Iris inside just a little too quickly for it not to be suspicious. She’d offered to make tea and then her hands had shaken the entire time she prepared it. Iris was more than a little worried the woman would snap in front of her by the time she finally sat down.

 

Perhaps sensing Iris’ worry, Priya explained, “I haven’t actually talked about this. I didn’t think I’d ever have to.” 

 

Iris nodded, not entirely sure what she was alluding to. “I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.” 

 

“You’re a reporter.” 

 

Iris started, not recalling ever telling her that. “I, um, I don’t…” 

 

Priya smiled. “The way you spoke to me on the phone, your words, I knew you were a reporter. Are you writing an exposé?”

 

“Kind of. If I’m being honest I’m here for personal as well as professional reasons. I have a friend who underwent some tests while you were working there,” Iris admitted, not wanting to reveal too much. 

  
“They were one of our subjects?” The scientist asked, interrupting her. There was something in her eyes that was almost akin to excitement. 

 

“One of?” 

 

Priya sighed and set her tea down. She bit her lip as she started to speak several times but then cut herself off. Finally, she said, “You have to understand that we started off with the best of intentions.”

 

And Iris knew then that there was no going back.

  
Priya continued. “We were all so young, and intelligence and naiveté are a dangerous combination. We were studying genetics. We were trying to create enhanced human DNA.”

 

Iris could see where she was heading, but she wanted to clarify. “Enhanced DNA?” 

 

“We wanted to engineer a human who had heightened senses, extraordinary abilities, accelerated healing abilities…” 

 

“A metahuman,” Iris supplied. 

 

Priya nodded. “A metahuman before metahumans existed. We started off the same way all scientists start off; we did lab work and then we commenced animal testing. But it wasn’t the same, especially given what we wanted to do. It was Eobard who suggested we begin human experimentation without the proper approval.” 

 

Iris feigned ignorance. “Eobard?” 

 

“Eobard Thawne. He was our fearless leader,” She laughed bitterly. “He became obsessed with the project, we all did, but his obsession turned dangerous. He started cutting corners and taking bigger risks. Then one day he came in and told us he found the perfect subject.” Sensing Iris’ confusion, Priya hurriedly told her that “We needed someone who had a predisposition that would allow us to expose them to enough energy to alter their DNA.” 

 

“Energy? Like a…”

 

“Lightning bolt.” Priya smiled. “At least that’s what he suggested. The rest of the team recognized the risk and decided that it was too big. The project was shut down, we were all fired, our careers were over, and it was made clear to us that if we ever spoke of this again there would be dire consequences. 

 

All of it made sense then. Eobard, in his desperation to find a subject, had run tests on his young nephew and found that he was a perfect candidate. He’d then approached Nora Allen and she, rightly so, had told him there was no way in hell he was going to use her son as a lab rat. She’d gotten in his way and so Thawne had killed her so that he could turn Barry into a speedster. 

 

Iris sighed, dots connecting even though she wished they wouldn’t. “So why are you telling me this?”

 

Priya looked her up and down, wringing her hands together. “Because, Ms. West, I think you’re a lot like me in that you know things you shouldn’t. You know  _ people _ you shouldn’t.” 

 

Suddenly she understood why Priya Tayal had opened her door. “My articles on The Flash. You’ve read them.” 

 

Priya nodded a tad desperately. “The Flash appeared right after the STAR Labs particle accelerator exploded and created a massive lightning storm. I know Eobard was behind it, and you need to tell The Flash that.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Eobard…” Priya closed her eyes and took a breath to steady herself. “He lost his way at some point and I don’t think he ever found it again. He began to experiment on himself, Iris. I aided him in that, and that’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my days. He was a prime candidate for genetic modification, not perfect, but as close as we’d gotten before.”

 

Iris’ heartbeat was much too loud in her ears. “Wait a minute, you’re saying you think that Eobard Thawne might be a metahuman?”

 

“Yes, and I think that The Flash is the only one who can stop him.” 

 

**OOO**

 

Needless to say the past few days had been more than a little stressful. 

 

She was trying to make sure she had all her ducks in a row so that she could nail Eobard. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he was Reverse Flash, and so then the issue of literally catching him came into play. Team Flash hadn’t yet been able to stop him, so she wasn’t sure why she thought that she could. She did have the fact that he didn’t know she knew his identity, which was surely beneficial, but she didn’t know if it would be enough. She’d definitely need Flash’s help, and she was pretty sure she could get it if she could convince him of all this. That was, of course, much easier said than done because it kind of sucked having to tell someone that their speed was a gift from their sworn enemy. Who was also a speedster. And also their uncle. And had killed their mom. 

 

Complicated didn’t begin to cover it. 

 

So it really wasn’t her fault that she’d sort of been neglecting Barry in her attempt to help him. He’d called her up and asked her if they could hang out, and she’d almost deflected and told him that she was just too caught up in work, but something in his voice had her agreeing. They agreed to meet up at Hofherr Park because Iris could really use some Vitamin D. 

  
The first thing she notices is how nervous he is. 

 

Barry all but refuses to make eye contact with her. His hands keep fluttering to the point of vibrating, and if she hadn’t known already it would’ve been a dead give away. She can tell he’s distracted, but she doesn’t push him on it. Some part of her has a sneaking suspicion as to why he called her here. 

 

Still, she was a little confused when he suddenly asked her, “You know I’d do anything for you, right?” 

  
She smiled, but she couldn’t hide her nerves. “I know, Barry, and you know I’d do the same.” 

 

“Right, right, I know.” He was nodding and wringing his hands which she knows he does when he’s anxious. “It’s just that… I’ve been keeping some things from you, and I don’t want you to think it’s a reflection on you or anything like that.”

 

And, oh god, he’s going to tell her. 

  
She’d been wanting him to, but being confronted with the reality was still a little more than terrifying. Still, she did her best to keep her expression neutral as she said, “You can tell me anything,  _ always _ .”

 

He smiled in spite of his clear nervousness. “Meeting you was not part of the plan,” he breathed and the words seem almost involuntary. “I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew exactly who I was, who I needed to be. It wasn’t hard to see how my life was going to play out if I hadn’t gone to the gym that day, and then you came literally sprinting into it and changed everything.” 

 

Iris laughed, nerves making her skin tingle. “Well, thank God you recognized the importance of being in shape.” 

 

“Actually, I think it was my mom,” he whispered and Iris stilled. “I think she saw how lost I was, so she sent me what I needed. She sent me you.” 

 

Iris’ mouth was very, very dry. She hadn’t quite expected his confession to be this emotionally charged. In her mind it had been more of a “Hey! Look! I’m The Flash!” But then again that was definitely more her style than Barry’s. 

 

“What you have to understand, Iris, is that after she died and my dad went to prison, I never expected anything good to happen to me ever again. Once I’d decided that, it wasn’t very hard for me to make a lot of horrible decisions.” 

 

“Barry,” she started. 

 

But he charged forward, finally finding his courage. “I did things that I’m not proud of, but that didn’t matter because there was no one left to be proud of me, so why should I bother? I detached myself from the part of me that cared and I was fine with that. And then I met you. And you were bold, and beautiful, and brilliant, and it was like someone turned on a light for the first time in more than a decade. Something good happened to me again. But it was also the first time I had to look at my actions and hold myself accountable if I ever wanted to have a prayer with you.” 

 

She opened her mouth to say something, to press on that a little bit, because what the hell did it mean? For once in her life her words failed her and so she kept listening. 

 

“It sucked. It really, really sucked because as it turned out I didn’t much like the person that I had become. He was kind of awful. He was _ really _ awful, actually, but you, Iris, you believed in me anyway. You gave me what I needed to push myself to be better, and what I need you to understand is that the reason I kept this secret from you wasn’t because I didn’t trust you.” 

 

Barry reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb with a tenderness she hadn’t ever experienced before. It was like she was something incredibly precious, but not at all fragile. 

 

“It’s because I was scared of losing what was inarguably the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m still downright terrified, but I need you to know all of me, even if it means I might lose you.” 

 

Barry stepped back and,  _ holy shit,  _ this was it. He took a deep breath to steel himself and then…

 

His phone rang. 

 

The shrill sound of it caused both of them to jump, effectively breaking the growing moment. Barry’s frustration was evident and also kind of funny as he fished the device out of his pocket. She could tell that he had every intention of sending the caller to voicemail, but he stopped short when he saw the ID. 

 

“It’s your dad,” he said, tone one of perfect confusion. 

 

Iris was frozen for half a second as her sluggish brain attempted to sort out all the information she’d just been handed. In the next second she surged forward because something had to be wrong. She took the phone out of Barry’s hand and answered the call. “Dad?” 

 

“Iris!” He breathed through the receiver, sounding relieved. 

 

She was still confused. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” Barry was visibly tense beside her. 

 

“There’s a robbery in progress at Central City Municipal Bank. Already one vic with a GSW to the chest. You weren’t answering the phone, but I figured maybe you were with Barry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He was speaking much too quickly, and she could hear sirens in the background. He was on his way there. “I have to go, Baby. Stay away from the bank. I love you.” 

 

He was gone before she could say anything back.

 

Joe West had been a cop for longer than Iris had been alive, and it still terrified her every time he ran into the line of fire. 

 

Barry was looking at her expectantly. “What did he say? What’s happening?”

 

Iris handed him back his cellphone, limbs feeling heavy in her shock. “There’s an armed robbery at the Municipal Bank. They’ve already shot someone. My dad is on his way.” 

 

She looked up at him. He could stop all of this. 

 

He didn’t move. 

  
Iris could tell he was conflicted. This clearly was not how he wanted to tell her he was The Flash, but it didn't seem like they had any other choice. 

 

The thing was, this wasn't how she wanted to find out either. 

  
“You should go, they may need forensics.” It was a weak out she offered him, but it was the best she could do. 

 

He seemed grateful for it. She knew he cared deeply for her father. “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” 

 

Iris nodded. “Yes, yes! Go! Be careful.” 

 

“Always.” 

 

Barry took off running towards the exit to the park. 

 

He moved a little too quickly. 

 

**OOO**

 

Let the records show that Iris West held her shit together for a ridiculously long amount of time.

 

It was never going to go down without a few bumps in the road. 

  
She had started this journey with far from pure intentions, and she would’ve been foolish to believe that they wouldn’t catch up with her at some point. 

 

Still, she hadn’t really imagined it happening like this.    
  


He’d been waiting for her when she got home, which, admittedly would’ve been creepier if she hadn’t known it was Barry behind the mask. She could instantly tell something was off just by the charge in the air. She almost called out his actual name, but caught herself in time. “Flash?” 

 

He was standing in her living room, back towards her. When he turned she could see that he was holding a file in his hand. The outside said “Property of CCPD”. 

 

Her heart sank. 

 

“Did you know that every month Cisco hacks into CCPD’s database and sees what evidence they have against me? They always have something. Every month.” He wasn’t distorting his voice, that’s how upset he was. 

 

Iris stepped towards him, but for the first time in a while, he stepped back. “Flash.” 

 

His voice was thick as he spoke over her. “I thought it was weird that Cisco hadn’t found anything the past few months. So I did some digging myself, and do you know what I found? You.” 

 

Iris was crying now, hot tears that blurred her vision. She really didn’t want to, because she knew it was him who should be upset, but she knew what was coming and she couldn’t stop it. “I’m sorry,” was all she could manage. 

 

“He was hiding it from me, Cisco was lying to me. He knew it would crush me if I found out.” Then, practically spitting out the words he said, “You were undercover for CCPD. That’s why you pursued me. That’s why you got me to trust you.”

 

Iris shook her head “At first, at first I was working with them. But I got to know you and I cared about you and I stopped! I was trying to help you! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” 

 

She tried to move to him, but again he stepped away. “You were using me this whole time, for what? A story? A promotion.” 

 

“No! No!” She jerked her head as his words seemed to physically sting her. “I want to make it right, please let me make it right.” In her desperation to win him over, she blurted, “I know who Reverse Flash is!” 

 

He wasn’t biting. “Save it, Iris!” His face was contorted with rage and pain and her heart shattered to think that she’d caused it. 

 

“Please,” she sobbed. 

 

“You wanted to get my trust, congratulations, Iris, you did.” He slammed the file down on her coffee table. “You broke me in half. Job well done.” 

 

“Barry, wait!” She cried, but he was gone before she could get the words out. 

  
Iris was alone. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!!! IMPORTANT INFO!!!!!
> 
> Well folks, it's all happening. I hope this chapter makes you feel everything I felt while writing it. I wrote and re-wrote it so many times. Some of you may not be happy with it, but I hope most of you will be. I think you will :). 
> 
> BUT HERE'S THE ANNOUNCEMENT! 
> 
> I'm thinking of doing a little spin-off/companion piece to this since we're nearing the end. It'll (probably) be shorter than this monster (which seriously got out of hand, we hit 50K words with this chapter. holy shit.), but it'll essentially be this story from Barry's perspective. Would that be something you're interested in? It'll contain scenes from this story, but I think I'll also write new scenes since there's so much of their relationship I didn't showcase. 
> 
> If the answer is yes and you have anything in particular you want to see, please comment or come visit my tumblr and slide into my ask box (https://iriswestaf.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Onwards!

She waited.

 

Iris West was not a patient person. She was born two weeks early and had tackled life from then on with an inherent sense of urgency. She wasn’t sure why or where it came from, but it was just how she was wired. Her dad often used to remind her to “slow down. Breathe.” He’d asked her what the hurry was, and for so long she hadn’t known. She used to think she was running from something; her mom, her boyfriends, her fear that maybe she would always be inadequate (and maybe that’s why they always left). She knew now that that wasn’t it. She hadn’t been running from anything.

 

She’d been running towards him. 

 

And when she’d finally found him, that’s when she’d finally been able to rest. She’d finally found someone who could keep up with her, who appreciated every little flaw and imperfection so she didn’t need to run from them anymore. Barry calmed her down. Barry steadied her. Barry was that breath her father always urged her to take. Barry endured the hurricane that was Iris. So she could be patient for Barry. 

 

She waited. 

 

She sat in his apartment on the couch in her sweatpants and she stared at her phone and she waited. She wanted to call him, but what would she say? She wasn’t supposed to know, and he couldn’t find out she knew like this. She needed him to forgive her on his own terms, not because he felt like he had to because he’d also been a liar. 

 

They were both liars. 

 

Which lie was worse? 

 

_ You were using me this whole time.  _

 

She couldn’t allow herself to dwell on that question. It would swallow her whole. Instead she let her eyes drift around the apartment. She remembered the first time she’d been here, how she’d noted the lack of personal touches. It wasn’t that way anymore. 

 

She was everywhere.

 

In the framed photos of the two of them that were now scattered everywhere (a trip to the carnival, the time they’d gone ice-skating, a selfie in the park), the discarded articles of clothing (a scarf draped over the back of a barstool, a sweatshirt hanging on a hook in the bathroom), and hell the place even smelled vaguely of her. 

 

They were so snarled up and intertwined and you couldn’t tell where one of them ended and the other began.

 

What if he never forgave her?

 

_ You broke me in half.  _

 

She wouldn’t survive that. 

 

She could not dwell. She could not.

 

So instead she curled into a ball on the couch in his apartment.

 

And she waited.

 

**OOO**

  
  


She couldn’t bring herself to regret volunteering for this assignment. 

 

There were a lot of things that she would do differently; she might not have told as many lies, she might have tried harder not to hurt him, but she couldn’t bring herself to regret putting her life on the line for the job. It had brought her to him, so she could never regret it. 

 

Even if she was about to die. 

 

Iris had kind of known that this was how the path was meant to end, but she was kind of surprised it had happened so quickly. One minute she’d been sitting at CCPN attempting to pull her Eobard Thawne case together, the next she was on top of her building. 

 

Part of her, the foolish, naive part, had believed that maybe Barry was behind all this. It had been a tricky situation, because he didn’t think that she knew his identity, and so he couldn’t be mad at her as Barry. He’d finally texted her some half-assed excuse about going on a vacation up into the mountains where he didn’t have cell service, and then had gone AWOL. She thought that he was finally ready to talk to her, to reveal himself, to maybe even forgive her. 

 

When she turned around, there was a speedster behind her. 

 

It just wasn’t her speedster. 

  
Which inevitably was a bad thing, because the only other speedster she knew was a homicidal maniac and naturally that was the one that was standing right in front of her. 

 

His eyes were glowing a weird maniacal red, and he was vibrating much like Barry always did, except he was nothing like Barry. In fact, being in Reverse Flash’s presence was enough to finally prove that Flash had never and would never be a threat to her. 

 

“Iris West,” he buzzed.

 

She steeled herself because there was no way she was going to get out of this one unless she could be smart about it. He had taken her because he knew she knew. There was no other explanation. So she said, “Eobard Thawne.” 

 

There was a moment, a beat where a decision was made, and then Reverse Flash took off his cowl. 

 

She so wished she hadn’t been right. 

 

Eobard smiled at her, seeming almost appreciative. “You’re smarter than I initially gave you credit for. You’re the only one who was able to figure it out,” Eobard gestured to himself in reference to his alter ego. “Smart and stubborn, because not everyone would persevere in the face of a stabbing.” He was congratulating her in some bizarre turn of events. “It’s almost a shame I have to kill you now.” 

 

There was no escaping it then. He’d made up his mind. She couldn’t fight, and she definitely couldn’t run. She couldn’t do much of anything except…

 

Except try and do one more good thing before her time was up. For him. 

 

It wasn’t like she could make for her phone; he’d definitely see her, and she was pretty sure he’d taken it off her body. But then the team at STAR Labs had a contingency plan for that, because they were always saving her ass even when she didn’t deserve it. 

 

All it took was a deft flick of her wrist and she hit the little lightning bolt on the bracelet she hadn’t taken off since Barry had given it to her. It would alert them to her location. It would make a recording of what they were saying and then send it back to the lab. Barry would finally know who Reverse Flash was, he could finally get justice, he could finally find peace. 

 

She just needed to get Eobard to talk.

 

Luckily, Thawne was a classic narcissist, and Iris had learned to work with them when she was studying psychology. It only took a “You killed Nora Allen” to get him going. 

 

“It was certainly regrettable that my sister was collateral damage, but she refused to see reason, no matter how hard I tried.”

 

Iris bristled at the idea that Nora had somehow been to blame of her own death. “She was protecting her son.” 

 

He laughed; a harsh sound. “I advanced genetics by centuries! Besides, what exactly was she protecting him from? I made him great! I made him a  _ god _ !”     

 

“And then you tried to turn him into a monster.” 

 

“Barry and I, we’re pre-dispositioned for greatness,” Thawne sneered at her. “We are the most evolved humans on the planet, the most powerful. We were meant to rule, but Barry didn’t want that. Even after his mother died, I couldn’t convince him to do anything other than commit a few harmless robberies. He wouldn’t let me help him reach his full potential”                                                                                                                   

 

And all that fear that she had a moment ago was jolted out of her as she stepped up to the man with the intention of killing her. “You murdered his mother! You manipulated a scared little boy into thinking the world was against him! Into thinking that he wasn’t deserving of love!”

 

Eobard stilled and smiled, cocking his head ever so slightly. “Now that’s not entirely true, is it Miss West?” 

 

Now she was confused. “Wait, what?” 

 

“You really don’t see it do you? I thought you were being coy, but you truly are unaware of how he feels about you. Doesn’t much matter now,” Eobard said with a shake of his head. 

  
All she could do was repeat “What?” 

 

Eobard, not quite answering her question, continued. “Barry has always had light in him. He’s always had just a tiny bit of hope that refused to be extinguished no matter how hard I tried. I could never get rid of it. And then you came along. I panicked because I thought that you would be the end. I arranged to have you killed, but you’re a fighter, Miss West, I’ll give you that. You were a problem that would not go away.” Eobard looked contemplative, and she got the sense that he was no longer paying her any mind. “Then I realized that you were not the end, but rather the beginning. You see, if I could get you to tease that hope out of Barry, if I could get him to believe that maybe he could be saved, that you could save him, and then took that away, it would destroy his spirit once and for all. But I couldn’t allow your death to galvanize him, so I would make it look like you killed yourself to escape him.” His plan was clear then; why he’d brought her up to the top of her building. She knew it would break Barry once and for all if he thought he’d been behind her death. He knew that too. “Barry’s most easy to manipulate when he hates himself. So I suppose I should thank you, Iris. You’re the one who’s going to help me get rid of that stubborn piece of goodness that exists in Barry Allen.” 

 

It could not be said that Eobard Thawne did not know his nephew, because that plan would most definitely work. All that time she’d spent trying to convince him that he was a hero who deserved so much more would be snatched away. The fragile house of cards she’d been building would topple, and there wasn’t much that she could do. 

 

And then she remembered the little gold bracelet around her wrist and how maybe she could give him what he needed even if she wouldn’t be there anymore. 

 

So, Iris West decided to bare her soul, because there was really no sense to inhibition when you were dying. She imagined the future she wanted Barry to have, even if she couldn’t be a part of it anymore. She prayed it would be enough. She thought that maybe it would be. 

 

“He’ll figure it out, and he’ll destroy you. He’ll be angry for a little while, and then he’ll be sad, but then he’ll heal. He’ll rebuild and atone for the bad things he’s done.” 

 

She paused, and Eobard seemed a thousand miles away as she spoke only to Barry as though he were there. 

 

“He’ll forgive himself, because that’s what I would want him to do. It’ll be hard, but he’ll do it for me. He’ll live a big, beautiful life and he’ll get married to a wonderful girl and have cute, speedster babies and die when he’s old and wrinkly. He will be happy, because that’s what he deserves.” 

 

Iris spoke only with clarity and certainty as her words gave her one last bit of strength. 

 

“This will not destroy him, because he is too strong and wonderful to be destroyed. He will overcome this because he’ll know that I loved him. Her voice broke. “I loved him so much.” 

 

“Those were beautiful last words,” Eobard mocked. 

 

Iris scowled at him, and as much as her last sentiments were emotional, her next ones were acidic. “Yeah, well I’m a writer, you asshole. I have a way with them.” 

 

He was in front of her in the literal blink of an eye. The time he’d given her to be a smart-ass was apparently up, and this was it. Thawne placed his hands on her upper arms and then he was dangling her over the edge of her apartment building. Her feet hung out into the air and her arms would surely bruise from his ironclad grip and she was pretty sure he was going to drop her and then…

 

“Eobard!”

 

Thawne’s eyes grew so wide they bulged out of his head a little bit. Iris tried not to grin as she took in the familiar red suit over Thawne’s shoulder because she should under no circumstances be happy. She was very much still about to die, the terrified look Barry was sending her was evidence of that, but she smiled at him anyway. He’d come for her just like she’d known he would. 

 

The question was; could he save her? 

 

Thawne did not drop her, presumably because Flash would simply grab her, instead choosing to pull her back in and place a hand on her shoulder, gripping her collarbone. He’d spun her around so that they were both facing Flash now

 

He was still vibrating his face and distorting his voice, and he must not have heard the transcript of her conversation with Eobard because he still didn’t know she knew. It was kind of ridiculous he was still keeping with the pretenses. Barry had one hand half extended towards her, and she could practically feel his mind racing a mile a minute. 

 

“You killed my mother.” His words were not angry, instead it sounded as though he was trying to make sense of the statement. 

 

Eobard didn’t say anything, and Iris knew he was just trying to figure out if there was a way out of being implicated. Reaching the conclusion that he’d dug himself in too deep, Thawne sighed. “I did what I had to do.” 

 

“You were going to kill Iris.” And then he was angry, seething actually. He stepped towards Eobard. 

 

Eobard tightened his grip on Iris’ shoulder.

 

Iris screamed.

 

Barry stopped. 

 

“Come any closer to me and I’ll crush her chest before you can even take a step.” Iris couldn’t see his face, but she knew he was smiling. “You should be thanking me, Flash. She betrayed you, she was going to turn you into the police.” 

 

Iris shook her head. “No, no I wasn’t! I’d never hurt you! I’m so sorry!”

 

Flash looked at her. “I know, Iris. It’s okay. I’m not mad. Just hang on for me, okay?” 

 

Thawne’s hand seemed to tighten reflexively and Iris did her best not to grimace. “Seems you and I are at a bit of a stalemate, Flash. The only thing you want more than to kill me, is for me not to kill Iris. If you come after me, she dies. Quite the conundrum.” 

 

And she knew then what needed to happen. This was a choice Barry should never have to make, so she would make it for him. “Kill him,” she said, no waver in her voice.  

 

Thawne laughed. “She’s got spirit!” 

 

The look on Barry’s face made her heart shatter. She was pretty sure he was in more pain than she was. “Just let Iris go and I’ll let you go.” 

 

Another laugh from Thawne. “You think I really believe that?” 

 

“Please!” Barry was begging now, and Iris hated to see it. 

 

“Flash,” she barked, and his eyes locked on hers like the instinct she knew it was. “Just kill him. Don’t worry about me. I’m not worth it. Kill him.” She did her best not to show how fucking terrified she was of dying. The only thing that allowed her to push past her fear was how furious she was. 

 

“He won’t do it!” Eobard was goading him now, almost daring him to go through with it. 

 

“Let her go!” Iris couldn’t see the tears, but she could tell from the pitch of his voice that he was crying. 

 

That seemed to egg Thawne on. “He can’t do it!” He was almost maniacal now. 

 

“Kill him!” Iris said again, and she couldn’t be sure, but she thought she might be crying too. 

 

“Eobard, please!” Barry cried as he took a step forward. 

 

Thawne gripped Iris harder, and she couldn’t help but scream as something snapped. “Go ahead and try it, Flash!” Barry stepped back. 

 

“Kill him!” Iris shouted. 

 

And then the most out of place words she’d ever heard in her life: “Cisco, now!”

 

A loud bang sounded and Eobard cried out in pain just as Iris felt the bones under his fingertips snap inside her body. In fact, it almost felt as though his hand when through her skin, crushing everything they touched. She felt the muscles in her shoulder tear, she felt bones splinter, she felt her left lung collapse. Eobard was still screaming in agony. 

 

She thought she heard Barry’s voice ask why it wasn’t working. She thought she heard Cisco reply that it was draining his power, but that he was stronger than they’d thought. That Barry couldn’t get closer because it would weaken him as well. That the machine was overheating. That it wasn’t going to last much longer.

 

All Iris knew for sure was that Thawne wasn’t going to let go of her. That she was dying. That she needed to kill Reverse Flash once and for all. 

 

Iris West dug in her heels and pushed back against Thawne. He was weak enough and in just enough pain that he could do little to resist her. With all the strength left in her body, she threw herself over the building’s ledge and took Eobard Thawne right along with her. 

 

She didn’t fall for very long, and then all too familiar arms were pulling her from Eobard’s grasp and she was moving at that all too familiar speed, but she couldn’t manage to get her eyes open as the pain began to overtake her senses. 

 

Cisco’s voice hit her eardrums. “Did you get Thawne?” 

 

“Dampener cuffs are on him and he’s knocked out from the fall.” Fingers brushed at her hair. “Iris! Stay with me! Please, Iris!” His voice was not distorted this time. She could hear the unbridled terror. 

 

“He crushed the whole left side of her upper body.” Cisco sounded somber. Sad. “Dude, I don’t know if she’s gonna make it.”

 

Fury. “Shut up!” Then his voice was softer. “Iris, please, please, just hang on! We’re going to get help! Please, stay with me! You promised you wouldn’t leave me!” 

 

And she knew then that no matter how hard she fought, that was likely a promise she couldn’t keep. So, before she left him, she decided to give him the best she could. Using all the strength she could muster, she managed to open her eyes. “Barry,“ she whispered. 

 

If she wasn’t dying, she thought she might’ve laughed at his face. He was working really hard to understand what was happening. “Iris…” 

 

He didn’t try and stop her as she moved her right hand to take the cowl off. They really didn’t have time for this cause she was very much dying, but she was pretty sure she was a goner anyway so what were a few extra moments? She needed this. 

 

Her body was not putting up with her though and so she couldn’t quite get it off of him. He hesitated for a moment before finally,  _ finally,  _ he took the mask off. 

 

“There you are,” she breathed. 

 

He was still confused, she could tell, and he had every right to be. “You knew?” 

 

Iris nodded. “For a while. Cisco can explain that part later.” 

 

Barry’s eyes didn’t leave her even as she revealed that his other best friend had been in on it. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

 

“I wanted you to tell me in your own time, but it seems we won’t have that opportunity.” She did her best to keep her tone light, but she knew it wasn’t enough.  

 

Barry was shaking his head, blinking back tears so that he could see her. “Hey, no, you’re gonna be fine. I’m gonna get you help, alright?”

 

But she wasn’t done, and she knew she likely would never get to say this no matter how fast help came. She grabbed his arm to stop him as he tried to lift her. “No, no, wait. You know I’m sorry, right? You know how sorry I am? I didn’t mean to hurt you, Barry. I wasn’t going to turn you in.”

 

He nodded, looking so broken and voice coming out mangled as he whispered, “I know, Iris. I know. It’s okay, just please hold on.” 

 

She had to go now, but not without one last thing. “Don’t let this steal your light. Don’t let this make you angry, and hateful. If you do, then he wins. Promise me.” Iris knew he would never break a promise to her. Not her Barry. 

 

He was sobbing and it hurt her so much, but still he managed to choke out, “I promise.” 

 

She smiled. It didn’t hurt anymore, and that was probably bad, but she was just so tired. Her voice was barely a whisper as she told him “The Flash is gonna be Central City’s hero, but you, Barry Allen, you were always my hero.” She knew it was true. The same way she knew the sky was blue, and that dogs bark, and that she loved him with every fiber of her being. 

 

He cupped her face, and then said, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.” 

 

And she thought for a minute about all that she’d learned. How trying to get Barry to understand who he’d always been had helped her rediscover who she truly was. The difference she’d made because of him. The good she would continue to do even after she was long gone. How he had become one of the most important parts of who she was. “Don’t you see? You already did.” 

 

Barry Allen was the last thing Iris West saw before her eyes closed. 


End file.
